- [Voiceover] There's an unspoken rule
in professional darts that if you wanna be
a professional darts player,
you've gotta have a nickname that could've been
a character from Top Gun,
so today on Funny or Die's Guide to Darts,
I'm gonna try my best to punch those nicknames
up a little bit.
First up we've got Gerwyn "The Iceman" Price,
who took the Top Gun reference very literally,
but I think a better nickname for this guy would be
Gerwyn "Made out of Rocks" Price.
I mean this guy is ripped.
Next up we got Michael "Bully Boy" Smith,
and while that nickname does seem fitting,
I think a better nickname would be
Michael "I Spend Three Hours Grooming My Beard" Smith.
I mean, look at those lines
you know what, these are just suggestions, okay,
so moving on.
Next up, we've got Rob "Voltage" Cross.
Rob "Little Baby Boy" Cross?
Or we could go more whimsical maybe,
how about Rob "Is That You Charlie Brown?" Cross.
Okay yeah, that one sucked,
but it's hard to come up with gold every time
like Darts Clown.
Raymond "Barney" Van Barneveld,
or Raymond "Soft Jason Statham" Van Barneveld.
Daryl "Superchin" Gurney
or Daryl "Young Jay Leno" Gurney.
Mensur "The Gentle" Suljovic,
or Mensur "Part Turtle" Suljovic.
And finally, Simon "The Wizard" Whitlock,
honestly, The Wizard is the perfect nickname for him,
so I think we can end there.