We're gonna need a bigger fahkin' boat! The Boston Sea Monster/Jaws mashup the internet has been waiting for.

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339Funny
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38,882
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September 23, 2015
Published

Transcript

NARRATOR: There is a creature
alive today
who has survived millions
of years of evolution
without change...
- MALE VOICE: What is that?
- NARRATOR: ...without passion, and without logic.
MALE VOICE: Holy shit.
NARRATOR: It lives to kill.
MALE VOICE: Holy shit.
NARRATOR: A mindless eating machine.
MALE VOICE: Oh man, look at this fucking thing.
NARRATOR: It will attack, and devour.
MALE VOICE: Oh my God, what the
fuck is that bro?
( female screams )
MALE VOICE: Man we're calling the coast guard.
I'll catch him, and kill him.
- MALE VOICE: That's a tuna.
- This shark will swallow you whole.
MALE VOICE: We've seen some shit
we ain't never seen before, kid.
You're going to need a bigger boat.
It's a baby fucking whale man.
That's a 20-footer.
.
tons of him.
Lets fucking hook that shit,
and we'll be on the
fucking news man.
Hurry up. He's coming straight
for us.
Don't screw up now.
Don't wait for me.
MALE VOICE: Oh my God, Jay.
Jay, what the fuck is that?
Jay, look at this fucking thing.
Look at that fucking thing.
Oh my God.
You gotta call the aquarium
or something dude.
You want to try and pull it in?
Gee, we could get some big
money for that.
Ahh!
MALE VOICE: Holy shit.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
NARRATOR: None of mans
fantasies of evil...
- MALE VOICE: Holy shit.
- NARRATOR: ...can compare to the reality
MALE VOICE: Are you shitting me?
NARRATOR: See it, before
you go swimming.
MALE VOICE: That is still good meat
on that fucking fish, kid.

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