Jack Plotnick tries to direct an willfully ignorant Deven Green & two dogs & Tom Lenk.
- August 18, 2016
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August 18, 2016
J: Deven I'd like to welcome you to the set of K-9 Kapers 3: Loose in the city.
Now in this scene our hero dogs have tackled the mugger, gotten your purse back and are delivering it to you the old lady in distress.
D: This ones bellybutton keeps coming out. I'm pushing it back in.
J: Yeah don't touch the dog's belly buttons. Don't put your finger inside of anything with that dog okay? Take your finger out of the dog.
D: He knows my business section.
J: and this doesn't take place in the old south. This is in New York City in central park for God's Sake.
D: But I've been working on my drawl.
J: You are portraying an old woman.
D: I saw the movie of the script.
J: HUH???? We haven't made the movie yet.
J: You look like Howdy Doody for fuck's sake. . NO. Don't do a Howdy Doody impression. I don't want Howdy Doody I want you to play an old Jewish woman.
D: Ugh my gefelta fish .
J: You don't have a line Deven. . NO you don't put your tongue in his mouth! His mouth is cleaner than yours.
D: I doubt it, we've been together for ½ and hour.
J: That dog is going to lick you a couple of times and realize you taste awful and not be willing to do it later.
D: Why don't you lick me and find out for yourself.
J: This is the last time I'm ever working with you.
D: I doubt that.
J: What are you feeding those dogs? That's a cat treat. . Don't do that.
D: Doggies in the west were horses.
J: Deven I'm gonna stop you there and I'm just gonna give you the costume. This is the purse you are going to use. And I'm going to ask you to put this wig on. Okay Deven now that we have got you in the appropriate costume we are just going to go ahead and film it.
D: I get paid twice.
J: For doing what?
D: For playing my evil twin.
J: You're playing an old lady who's purse was just returned to you by these heroic dogs.
D: We have other ideas.
J: Here's what we're going to do.
D: Here's what your going to do.
J: Here's what YOU'RE going to do. Pet them then I'm going to say cut and we're all going to go home...to our families.
D:Oh I'd love to met your family.
J: Not you, to mine.
D: I need Chase my publiSHIT.
J: Well they're not allowed on set. Why are you filming me?
T: I'm snapping you.
J: Stop it.
T: Too late I already put it up. Any communication from now on goes through me.
D: He's my spokes hole.
T: I've got a big hole to spokes from.
J: Then I will speak to her because I'm the director.
T: He says he will speak to you because he's the director.
J: I can hear you by the way.
D: Could you send me a fax.
T: I'm handling her social media accounts.
D: Friendster...Aol Rooms.
J: Get out of the shot and allow her to pet these dogs so we can move on with our lives.
. Very good. That's what it's going to be exactly. I love what you are doing now.
D: Give me give muther fuckers.
J: No this is a kid's movie, you're not going to say that.
J: You don't need Chase.
D: Meow, meow, meow, meow.
J: Well Chase just so you know I can hear her meowing.
J: Deven I can hear you purring.
T: She wants a bigger part.
J: Deven there is no...
T: Deven there is no bigger part.
J: Chase I'll talk to Deven
T: No, you'll talk to me...
J: Deven there are no roles open this is a … Deven this is the only role that...Deven Deven look at me, not him. And, stop taking pictures. Get off the set. What are you doing?
D: My breasts and I are leaving.
J: Deven get back here. Stop that. That is a professional Hollywood costume. You look exactly like a beautiful old woman in peril. ACTION.
T: Thank you. My purse.
J: And cut!Chase, that was beautiful.
T: I'm so moved by my own performance.
D: You're blow jobs ready.
T: Okay gotta go.
D: I'm going to give you a blow job in my mouth this time.
T: You're such a …
J: Where was the blow job last time :)