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On March 23rd, 2014, a live read for the 1996 masterpiece film Space Jam was... more »
Published April 16, 2014 260k views Immortal More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
With
Jensen Karp
Sean O'Connor
Shelby Fero
Melissa Stetten
Brandon Johnson
Noah Garfinkel
Jerrod Carmichael
Ralph Garman
Ben Schwartz
Nick Kroll
Danielle Fishel
Paul Scheer
Seth Green
DeAndre Jordan
Blake Griffin
Producers -
Ally Hord
Jensen Karp
Sean O'Connor
Editor -
Matt Sweeney
Cameras -
Matt Sweeney
Nate Cornett
Ray Lee
Sound -
Danny Carpenter for BoTown Sound
Poster Design -
Nate Maggio
Special Thanks -
Mike Still
7,953 Funny Votes
938 Die Votes
264,747 Views
Published April 16, 2014

1

PLAYING FOGHORN LEGHORN,
SYLVESTER, MARVIN THE MARTIAN,

2

PORKY PIG, YOSEMITE SAM, OWNER
AND COACH, HE DOES SO MANY

3

GOOD VOICES. YOU KNOW HIM FROM
KEVIN AND BEAN. GIVE IT UP FOR

4

RALPH GARMAN.

5

(APPLAUSE)

6

MY MEMORIES OF SPACE JAM IS
THAT MICHAEL JORDAN COULDN'T ACT.

7

THIS WAS PRETTY MUCH THE DEATH OF
THE LOONEY TUNES AS FAR AS I WAS

8

CONCERNED, AND NOT NEARLY ENOUGH
MARVIN THE MARTIAN.

9

PLAYING MUGGSY BOGUES, MR. JORDAN,
UMPIRE, AND MARCUS,

10

THE VERY FUNNY GERARD CARMICHAEL.

11

(APPLAUSE)

12

YEAH...

13

PLAYING, THE CHARACTER OF ZILCH,
THE INCOMPARABLE BEN SCHWARTZ.

14

(APPLAUSE)

15

WHAT I REMEMBER IS THE RAP
MUSIC. I REMEMBER THE MONSTARS.

16

I REMEMBER BUGS BUNNY. I REMEMBER
MICHAEL TRYING AT--

17

THE FIRST LIKE THIRD OF THE MOVIE IS
BASEBALL WHICH I DON'T

18

CARE ABOUT. I DON'T KNOW IF
THAT'S WHAT THE SCRIPT IS GOING

19

TO HAVE TODAY. AND I REMEMBER
IT BEING QUITE POSSIBLY THE BEST

20

MOVIE OF ALL TIME.

21

PLAYING LOLA BUNNY, JAUNITA,
NICK VAN EXEL,

22

(LAUGHTER)

23

WOMAN, DANIEL FISHEL.

24

(APPLAUSE)

25

I NEVER REALLY HEARD OF SOMETHING
LIKE THIS. I THINK

26

IT'S REALLY EXCITING, ESPECIALLY
FOR AN ANIMATED

27

MOVIE TO DO A LIVE TABLE READ
OF IT. I'M REALLY EXCITED TO

28

SEE THE CROWD RESPONSE. I'M
EXCITED TO SEE WHAT EVERYBODY

29

BRINGS TO IT. SO,
IT'S GOING TO BE GREAT.

30

PLAYING DAFFY DUCK, AND
BILL MURRAY, NICK KROLL.

31

(APPLAUSE)

32

WHAT I REMEMBER ABOUT SPACE JAM
IS THAT I'VE NEVER SEEN IT.

33

I'VE NEVER SEEN THE MOVIE
SPACE JAM. AND SO, I LOOKED

34

ON YOUTUBE TO SEE WHAT DAFFY
DUCK WAS LIKE. SO I'VE SEEN

35

7 OR 8 MINUTES OF
SPACE JAM ON YOUTUBE.

36

PLAYING THE ROLL ORIGINATED BY
WAYNE KNIGHT'S DAD, PAUL SHEER.

37

(APPLAUSE)

38

PLAYING BUGS BUNNY SETH GREEN.

39

(APPLAUSE)

40

THIS IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS
WHERE I WAS JUST LIKE, HOW IN THE--

41

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING TO
HAPPEN HERE, BUT SINCE

42

I WAS ASKED TO BE APART OF IT,
I'M GOING TO BE APART OF IT (LAUGHS).

43

PLAYING THE ROLL OF CHARLES
BARKLEY, AND SWACKHAMMER,

44

(LAUGHTER)

45

THE LOS ANGELES
CLIPPERS, DEANDRE JORDAN.

46

(APPLAUSE)

47

I REMEMBER THE MONSTARS THE MOST.
AND I REMEMBER WHEN

48

MICHAEL JORDAN JUMPED FROM
HALF COURT.

49

(INAUDIBLE) AND WHEN DAFFY DUCK,
SAID, "OH SHIT."

50

NOT A LOT OF KIDS SAW THAT THOUGH.

51

MY MICHAEL JORDAN, YOUR MICHAEL
JORDAN, BLAKE GRIFFIN.

52

(APPLAUSE)

53

I ACTUALLY HAD A BIRTHDAY PARTY
THEMED AROUND SPACE JAM

54

AS A CHILD. I HAD A SPACE JAM CAKE.
SO IT WAS A BIG DEAL.

55

(NARRATOR): HERE WE GO.

56

WE FADE IN ON THE JORDAN HOME.

57

(LAUGHTER)

58

IT'S 1973, AND IT'S NIGHT.

59

THE DRIVEWAY OF A MODEST
YET TIDY HOME, A 10 YEAR OLD BOY

60

MICHAEL JORDAN IS SHOOTING A
BASKETBALL AT A MAKESHIFT GOAL

61

WITH SUPREME DETERMINATION.

62

THE SCENE IS LIT ONLY BY MOONLIGHT.

63

(MUSIC PLAYS, "I BELIEVE I CAN FLY",
BY R. KELLY)

64

MICHAEL?

65

WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE?
IT'S AFTER MIDNIGHT.

66

I COULDN'T SLEEP, POPS.

67

WELL NEITHER CAN WE, WITH ALL
THIS NOISE YOU'RE MAKING.

68

NOW COME ON INSIDE.

69

JUST ONE MORE SHOT POP.

70

(NARRATOR): MICHAEL SHOOTS AND MISSES.

71

(LAUGHTER)

72

73

(NARRATOR): ZILCH TYPES IN THE WORD
L-O-O-N-E-Y INTO A TV REMOTE.

74

(NARRATOR): A CLASSIC LOONEY TUNES CARTOON
FILLS THE SCREEN.

75

YEAH, NOW YOU'RE TALKING. GET THE
LOONEY TUNES.

76

(LAUGHTER)

77

NOT DONE.

78

(LAUGHTER)

79

BRING THEM HERE.

80

THEY'RE FROM EARTH SIR.
WHAT IF THEY DON'T WANT TO COME?

81

MAKE'EM.

82

(NARRATOR): A CORPORATE SPACESHIP, WITH MOUROMOUNT LOGO

83

BLASTS OFF TOWARDS EARTH. ZEROING
IN ON NORTH AMERICA,

84

GOING FASTER AND FASTER. HEADING
RIGHT TOWARDS US.

85

I MEAN, THAT WAS ONE OF THE BEST
STRIKEOUTS I'VE SEEN.

86

I JUST LOOK AWFUL WHEN I STRIKEOUT.

87

GUYS, I APPRECIATE IT, BUT
I WHIFFED OK?

88

MR. JORDAN.

89

(NARRATOR): MICHAEL LOOKS UP--

90

(LAUGHTER)

91

(NARRATOR): MICHAEL LOOKS UP,
SEE'S A FACE HANGING UPSIDE

92

DOWN OVER THE DUGOUT ROOF THAT
BELONGS TO STAN PODOLAK.

93

30, A SWEATY,
DISHEVELED LOOKING HACK.

94

HELL OF A NICE CATCH.

95

(NARRATOR): HE DOES A BACK FLIP
DOWN INTO THE DUGOUT,

96

AND PUMPS MICHAEL'S HAND.

97

STAN PODOLAK MR. JORDAN, I'M
THE BARON'S NEW PUBLICIST.

98

I'M HERE TO MAKE YOUR LIFE
EASIER. I'LL DRIVE YOU ANYWHERE

99

YOU WANT. I'LL PICK UP YOUR LAUNDRY,
BABYSIT YOUR KIDS.

100

YOU NAME IT. NO ONE
IS GOING TO BOTHER YOU.

101

YOU'RE BOTHERING ME.

102

(LAUGHTER)

103

THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT MIKE.

104

IF IRRITATE YOU, YOU JUST TELL ME. IF YOU GOT A PROBLEM, I

105

WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT.

106

-I GOT A PROBLEM.
-YOU DO?

107

YOU'RE BLOCKING MY VIEW.

108

OH, SORRY.

109

(LAUGHTER)

110

(NARRATOR): HE MOVES, AND SOME
FANS ARE LEANING OVER THE DUGOUT

111

ROOF TRYING TO TAKE MICHAEL'S PICTURE.

112

HEY, GET OUT OF HERE. BEAT IT.
GIVE THE MAN SOME SPACE.

113

DON'T YOU PEOPLE HAVE ANY RESPECT?

114

I HATE THAT. PEOPLE WHO THINK
GETTING CLOSE TO A FAMOUS PERSON

115

IS GOING TO MAKE THEM FAMOUS.
IT'S SO UNCOOL.

116

ONE SMALL STEP FROM MOI.

117

ONE GIANT STEP FOR MORON MOUNTAIN.

118

(LAUGHTER)

119

AND ONE BIG HEADACHE FOR ELMER FUDD.

120

(LAUGHTER)

121

WE'RE LOOKING FOR BUGS BUNNY.
HAVE YOU SEEN'EM?

122

BUGS BUNNY HUH. DOES HE HAVE A
CUTE LITTLE FURRY TAIL LIKE THIS?

123

YEAH...

124

AND DOES HE GOT LONG EARS LIKE THIS?

125

YEAH, HE'S GOT LONG EARS.

126

YEAH, DOES HE HOP AROUND LIKE THIS?

127

YEAH...

128

DOES HE SAY,
"WHAT'S UP DOC?" LIKE THIS?

129

(LAUGHTER)

130

WHAT'S UP DOC?

131

YEAH...

132

NAW, I AIN'T SEEN HIM.

133

(LAUGHTER)

134

(NARRATOR): THE ALIEN SPACESHIP IS
PARKED OUT FRONT. INSIDE

135

BUGS AND ELMER FUDD HEAVILY
SHACKLED ARE BEING HELD AT

136

GUN POINT BY THE ALIENS ON

137

THE AUDITORIUM STAGE. THE REST

138

OF THE LOONEY TUNE CHARACTERS

139

WATCH FROM THE
AUDIENCE. DAFFY IS ANGRY.

140

SO WHAT'S THE BIG EMERGENCY?

141

(LAUGHTER)

142

(SETH): I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD BE MORE SERIOUS.

143

144

THESE FIVE LITTLE GUYS WANT TO KIDNAP
US AND FORCE US TO WORK

145

IN THEIR THEME PARK IN OUTER SPACE.

146

(NARRATOR): THE WORSE CHARACTERS
ALL BURST OUT LAUGHING.

147

GUN SHOTS RING OUT. YOSEMITE SAM STANDS ON A CHAIR.

148

YOU AND WHAT ARMY?

149

(NARRATOR): ZILCH TAKES OUT HIS
PHASER AND DISINTEGRATES

150

YOSEMITE'S GUN. THEN HE ZAPS
YOSEMITE SHRINKING HIM DOWN

151

TO 6 INCHES.

152

WHAT IN TARNATIONS?

153

(LAUGHTER)

154

WELL THE WAY I SEE IT...

155

156

WELL HOW ABOUT WE TELL THEM TO
(STUTTERS) DE-DEBATE...

157

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

158

(STILL STUTTERING)
DE...UH, UH, DEBATE.

159

(LAUGHTER)

160

SUFFERIN' SUCCOTASH!

161

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU?
I SAY WE GET A LADDER, WAIT

162

TILL THE OLD LADY'S OUT OF THE ROOM,
AND THEN WE GRAB THAT

163

LITTLE BIRD.

164

165

(NARRATION): ALL THE FANS AND PLAYERS
STARE AT CHARLES AS

166

THE COACH COMES ON TO THE FLOOR,
AND LEADS HIM TOWARDS THE BENCH.

167

YOU NEED A REST. I'VE BEEN
PLAYING YOU TOO MANY MINUTES.

168

I KNOW POP...

169

(LAUGHTER)

170

171

(NARRATION): AS BARKLEY REACHES
THE SIDELINE, AND SOME PLAYER

172

TRIES TO HIGH FIVE HIM. BARKLEY
HIGH FIVES HIM BACK, BUT MISSES

173

AND HITS HIM IN THE FACE.

174

(LAUGHTER)

175

176

AH MAN, I'M SORRY.

177

(LAUGHTER)

178

179

YOU OKAY? MY HAND SLIPPED.

180

(LAUGHTER)

181

NARRATION: THE ALIEN BLOCKS OUT
THE VIEW SINKING AN AMAZING SHOT.

182

DAFFY IS PROPELLED A FEW ROWS
UP INTO THE STANDS. HE COMES

183

SHOOTING UP RIGHT THROUGH A
POPCORN VENDOR'S TRAY.

184

DAFFY SPITS OUT
POPCORN WHEN HE SPEAKS.

185

BUT MOMMY, I DON'T WANT TO
GO TO SCHOOL TODAY.

186

(LAUGHTER)

187

I WANT TO STAY HOME, AND BAKE
COOKIES WITH YOU.

188

(NARRATION): BUGS GETS
ELBOWED IN THE HEAD.

189

OWW...

190

(NARRATION): BUGS GETS
ELBOWED IN THE GUT.

191

OOH...

192

(NARRATION): BUGS GETS AN ELBOW TO THE HEAD.

193

UHH...

194

(NARRATION): MICHAEL SCORES
AGAIN. TIME OUT. LOLA COMES OVER

195

TO HELP BUGS. ALTHOUGH NOBODY'S ELBOWING
BUGS NO MORE. HE

196

CONTINUES TO REACT AS IF THEY WERE.

197

-UHH...OOHH...
-WHERE DOES IT HURT BUGS?

198

EVERYWHERE.

199

(LAUGHTER)

200

LOOK, YOU GOT ANYMORE OF THAT
SPECIAL STUFF. I THINK IT'S

201

WEARING OFF.

202

IT DIDN'T WEAR OFF. IT WAS JUST WATER. YOU HAD THE SPECIAL

203

STUFF INSIDE OF YOU ALL ALONG.

204

(LAUGHTER)

205

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YOU GOT
ANYMORE, OR FUCK...

206

(LAUGHTER)

207

(NARRATOR): UH, MICHAEL STARTS TO
HAND HIS BOTTLE TO DAFFY,

208

WASTES IT, AND PASSES IT TO THE OTHER. MARVIN THE MARTIAN RUNS

209

UP TO MICHAEL JORDAN.

210

I HATE TO BE THE BEARER OF BAD
NEWS YOUR HIGHNESS, BUT IF YOU DON'T

211

PLAY ANY FIFTH PLAYER, YOU'RE
GOING TO FORFEIT THE GAME.

212

(APPLAUSE)

213

(NARRATION): WE'RE OUT SIDE OF A
SCHOOL YARD. DAYTIME.

214

A BUNCH OF TEENAGERS PLAYING
BASKETBALL LOOK UP IN AWE AT THE

215

SIGHT OF CHARLES BARKLEY APPROACHING.

216

217

CAN I PLAY WITH YA'LL?

218

(LAUGHTER)

219

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