Jason Segel: I told you, man! Dude, can we just talk about something?
Paul Rudd: Hmm?
Jason Segel: How amazing is Rush?!
Paul Rudd: Um, excuse me, how amazing is Rush?
Jason Segel: Amazing.
Paul Rudd: Amazing.
Jason Segel: Amazing.
Paul Rudd: I was like, oh. My. God. Red Barchetta?
Jason Segel: Come on.
Paul Rudd: How does Geddy still hit those high notes?
Jason Segel: The voice of an angel.
Paul Rudd: I swear to God, he must drink a lot of tea.
Jason Segel: Toads.
Paul Rudd: Hey, do you think it's cool to be in here? We're the only ones.
Jason Segel: Hey, all access passes. That means we can go anywhere.
Paul Rudd: Maybe it was a mistake to bring The Doobladay.
Jason Segel: Are you kidding me? Once they sign that, that's gonna be a memento for the rest of your life.
Paul Rudd: Dude, we are in Rush's green room.
Jason Segel: [High Pitched] No kidding! [Normal Tone] Happy birthday, hombre.
Paul Rudd: Thank you, my brojun. You know, tickets to Rush and backstage passes, best gift ever.
Jason Segel: Dude, pfft. You're worth it. [Funny Accent] Uh oh, I'm going to eat you, sandwich.
Paul Rudd: Hey, that says for Neil only, I wouldn't eat that.
Jason Segel: That sign is for like, roadies and stuff. Okay? And besides, the Holy Trinity, they're guys just like us. Except they're also the greatest musicians in the history of the world.
Geddy Lee: I saw four in the mezzanine.
Alex Lifeson: Yeah. I had three in the front row.
Neil Peart: Seven females at a Rush concert. Must be some kind of a world record.
Neil Peart: Whoa!
Geddy Lee: Hey, who are you guys?
Paul Rudd: We, uh, had the lamb. The, uh, lamb, I'm sorry, we have the laminates. Cause we thought it was okay to, to just come in here, but we can totally get out of your hair...
Jason Segel: No, we're fine, we're fine.
Paul Rudd: If you need us to.
Jason Segel: We're fine, we're fine, it's fine. Hi, guys. Hello. How do you do? My name is Sydney Fife, and this is, uh, my man Peter Klaven.
Paul Rudd: Hello.
Jason Segel: Guys, we are just the biggest Rush fans in the history of the planet Earth.
Paul Rudd: The biggest.
Geddy Lee: Right.
Neil Peart: I get it.
Jason Segel: Cause we ran Doogie's Rush Jam sessions in The Man Cave.
Neil Peart: Your what?
Jason Segel: Oh, that's my garage. I'm sorry. Um, you guys should totally come and hang out some time. It's just like guys being guys. We just jam out, we hang out, um, I have a jerk off station.
Paul Rudd: You know, the first, uh, uh, song that we ever, uh, jammed out to, it was, uh, Tom Soyee, and, uh, you know, we couldn't do the drums, no one can do the drums like you, but we did uh, it was like, uh, Dun na na na na, [Mouth Drumming Sounds], Da na na na, [Mouth Drumming Sounds], da na na na, [Mouth Drumming Sounds] [Singing Off Key] And I was banging it up.
Geddy Lee: What did you call that song?
Paul Rudd: Oh, you know it's Tom, it's called Tom Sawyer, but I love it in the, in the song when you go [singing] you're a modern day-warrior, mean, mean stride. Today's Tom Soyee, mean, mean pride.
Geddy Lee: I don't think I say it like that.
Alex Lifeson: Nah, I'm pretty sure you say Tom Sawyer.
Neil Peart: Hey! Is that my sandwich?
Paul Rudd: Syd, I told you not to eat Mister Peart's sandwich!
Neil Peart: It's just Peart.
Jason Segel: You sure that it's not Peart?
Geddy Lee: I think he would know.
Paul Rudd: Are you sure? Cause we're pretty big fans.
Geddy Lee: Chill man.
Alex Lifeson: Chill man.
Geddy Lee: Look guys, it's been a long night.
Paul Rudd: Oh, to-, to-, tote. Magote. Uh, we're, I just gotta say, though, that, uh, before I go, that was such a sweet a*s set. The, I was, I was like, I was, oomph, freak, freaking out. And the whole moving pace. Right? And, and then, with the, when you were, when you were playing the drums, is, is that, is that hard?
Neil Peart: Yes, it's hard.
Geddy Lee: Guys, you gotta go now. All right? Now.
Paul Rudd: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Jason Segel: No. No, no no. No.
Paul Rudd: Yeah, let's get out of their hair.
Jason Segel: No! Hold on! Guys, listen, it's my friend's birthday today. So, I got him tickets to your concert, which were not cheap, by the way. We grew our show beards, just for you! So, the least you could do is sign my friend's nine string.
Geddy Lee: You got a double neck? Do you know how to play that thing?
Paul Rudd: Well, uh, well not, not nearly as, as good as you, but, uh, I, uh, I, I, have, uh, been known to, uh, slappa da bass, uh, big time.
Neil Peart: Why is he talking like a leprechaun? [Laughs]
Geddy Lee: [Laughs]
Paul Rudd: Everybody says that. No, it's my, it's like a Caribbean, it's my Rasta guy. It's like I got da bass in me.
Alex Lifeson: Hey, can I check your laminate there, dude?
Jason Segel: Wow. It's legit there, leaflet. It's all access.
Alex Lifeson: Hey Dirk, check this out. Is this a fake or what?
Geddy Lee: Three season access? Come on.
Paul Rudd: You told me your buddy Ethan worked at the record label.
Jason Segel: My buddy Ethan works at Kinko's.
Neil Peart: I'm gonna get someone to come down here and kick your a*s unless you get out of here, now.
Jason Segel: I think that we understand when we're not wanted.
Neil Peart: Finally!
Jason Segel: Thank you for the sandwich.
Paul Rudd: No! Leave it!
Geddy Lee: Go, guys!
Jason Segel: I've already taken a bite!
Paul Rudd: So sorry, Rush.
Jason Segel: There's no Dirk in Rush.
Paul Rudd: That's a nickname! Like Jobin. Go!
Jason Segel: Who carries around a walkie talkie?
Paul Rudd: Sorry, Rush.
Paul Rudd: Why?! Why did you fake the laminates?
Jason Segel: I'm sorry, okay? I really am. I just, I wanted your birthday to be special.
Paul Rudd: I know, but now Rush thinks we're idiots.
Geddy Lee: Hey, Peter! You forgot something.
Geddy Lee: Happy birthday, man. You keep [Funny Accent] slappin' that bass.
Paul Rudd: [Whispering] He said slappin' da bass.
Paul Rudd: Oh my God. They signed it! They all signed it! Oh my God! Oh my God, I think we made a real impression on those guys.
Jason Segel: Of course they signed it, what did I tell you? Peter, The Holy Triumvirate, they're regular guys just like us.