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Matt Kibbe Pitches Dick "Knowing that Matt Kibbe scares people, I felt obligated to... more »
Published August 28, 2010 950 views More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Starring Adam Edgar as Matt Kibbe
Voice Over: D.C. Douglas
Written, produced, edited by Lance Kibbe' Baxter
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VO:  There is a movement in America…



MATT: It’s time to set the
record straight.



VO:  A political movement…



MATT:  We are not a political party.



VO:  A non-political movement…



MATT: We don’t know anything
about politics, and we certainly don’t want to start learning now.



VO: A Fox News movement…



MATT:  We are a diverse party of people



VO:  Who are 89% Christians – the good
religion.



MATT: We are from all walks
of life



VO:  but mainly white people who earn ove
50k a year…



MATT:  Who want to put an end to the tyranny.



VO: Healthcare. Obama. The
EPA. Obama. The Department of Education. Osama. Intellectually nuanced
Presidential speeches.



MATT:  We… are the Tea Party.



Hi.  I’m Matt Kibbe, president of the just
awesome FreedomWorks grassroots group, and personal profile fluffer of Dick
Armey, glory be upon him.



Together, we have a new book
out that, indeed, sets the record straight.  It allows us to talk directly to the people without being
fact-checked by the liberal media.



Our objective is a hostile
take over the Tea Party [edit] of the Republican party.  (drifting off) We would try for the
Democrats, but there’s just too many gay people there… And their use of irony
is just… confusing.



Because the Tea Party is a
spontaneous movement made up of people who have never been political before and
deride Washington insiders, who better to lead us than a Washington insider who
has spent a quarter of a century as a congressman and lobbyist?



Read our book: GIVE US
LIBERTY: A Tea Party Manifesto -- The good kind, not the commie kind -- and you
will see that Dick Armey, glory be upon him, is the right man to lead us.  He is not a Mormon (Beck picture).  He finishes what he starts. (Palin
picture).  And he’s never had an
affair (Newt picture).  -- He’s
kept it to friendly sexual harassment.



VO:  GIVE US LIBERTY



MATT:  In GIVE US LIBERTY, you’ll learn how we
stole Ron Paul’s little movement and turned it into the awesome misinformation juggernaut
it is today simply by getting Rick Santelli to impersonate Peter Finch from the
movie Network.



VO: GIVE US LIBERTY



MATT:  You’ll learn how to avoid acknowledging
Reagan’s huge tax increases during the early 80’s recession by talking about
terrorist Mosques at ground zero and asking, “which terrorist mosque does Obama
attend?”



VO: GIVE US LIBERTY



MATT: You’ll learn how to
grow Wolverine sideburns, like me, as a metaphor for slashing taxes. .. and a
subtle way to try and get laid.  
(Don’t laugh, I think it’s working with Tabitha)



VO: GIVE US LIBERTY



MATT:  We even included a special discount
code for Orly Taitz’ online course “How to file bat-shit crazy lawsuits.”  This is truly an amazing book.



VO: GIVE US LIBERTY



MATT:  Please… Give us Liberty… AND give us
Dick.



VO:  GIVE US LIBERTY: A Tea Party
Manifesto.  (The good kind, not the
commie kind) In bookstores now. 
Wolverine sideburns patent pending.  Orly Taitz web access requires Michelle Malkin, Michelle
Bachman or Ann Coulter fan club registration.  Void where prohibited by common sense.



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