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Mitch McConnell offers a solution to equal pay for women, and it makes as much sense as Bitcoin.
Published April 10, 2014 46k views More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Writer Bryan Safi
Director Andy Bush
Producer Ally Hord
Producer Becca Scheuer
DP Brian Lane
Gaffer Kevin Stewart
Key Grip Jordan Downey
Production Design Tricia Robertson
Sound Ben Forman
Hair/MU Leigh Schwartz
PA Ali Naqvi
Editor Jack & Justin
CAST
Mitch McConnell Peter MacNicol
Assistant Emily Strachan

HELLO.
I'M SENATE MINORITY LEADER,
AND PAN'S LABYRINTH EXTRA,
MITCH MCCONNELL.
THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF HUBBUB
THIS WEEK, BECAUSE LIKE MYSELF
BLOCKED THE PAYCHECK FAIRNESS
ACT WHICH WOULD HOLD
EMPLOYERS MORE ACCOUNTABLE
FOR WAGE DISCRIMINATION
AGAINST WOMAN.
PEOPLE ARE SAYING ALL SORTS
OF RIDICULOUS THINGS LIKE
"OOH, YOU DON'T THINK WOMAN
DESERVE EQUAL PAY FOR
EQUAL WORK." OR "OOH,
YOU THINK IT'S OKAY THAT
WOMAN ONLY MAKE $.77 CENTS FOR
EVERY DOLLAR A MAN MAKES."
FIRST OF ALL, YES,
BUT THAT'S MOSTLY BECAUSE
I KNOW THAT MOST WOMAN JUST
STEAL THE OTHER $.23 CENTS
FROM THEIR HUSBANDS.
AM I RIGHT GUYS?
YOU NEVER PUT A WOMAN IN A
ROOM WITH A LEATHER WALLET.
NO, THAT'S LIKE PUTTING ME IN
A OLIVER PEOPLES SHOWROOM.
I GO NUTS.
(LAUGHS)
(SIGH)
I'M JUST JOSHING WITH YA'LL. ALL JOKES
ASIDE THOSE FACTS AND FIGURES
HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE UPSET.
SO TO APPEASE EVERYONE, I'M
HAPPY TO INTRODUCE A
REPUBLICAN'S SOLUTION.
LADY COIN.
YEP, AND IT'S JUST AS LEGITIMATE
AS THAT OTHER INTERNET
CURRENCY THAT'S COMPLETELY
MADE UP, AND LIKE THAT,
IT'S A 100% A REAL CURRENCY
THAT HAS THE PRETEND VALUE
OF $.23 CENTS. WHICH HAPPENS
TO BE THE EXACT FIGURE
IN THE WAGE GAP, SO YOU CAN
BUY YOUR PRETEND SHOES, OR
HATS OR MAKE-UP, OR SALAD BARS,
WHATEVER WOMAN BUY.
JUST, HEY, NO PANTS WOULD YOU PLEASE?
YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH FUN WITH
THE PANTS. THOSE ARE FOR MEN.
YOU SEE, I DO KNOW WHAT
WOMAN WANT, AND YES
I'M TALKING ABOUT THE MEL
GIBSON MOVIE WHICH I'VE
SEEN OVER A 150 TIMES.
(ASSISTANT): SENATOR MCCONNELL--
(SCREAMS)
YOU SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME.
GET OUTTA HERE.
ARE WE...? OH.
OK, GOOD.
AND IF YOU ALL DON'T LIKE MY IDEA
WELL HERE'S A QUARTER.
CALL SOMEONE WHO CARES.
JUST GIVE ME THE
$.02 CENTS BACK WOULD YOU?
(LAUGHS)
(LONG SIGH)

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