Republicans, Get In My Vagina!

Actor

Kate Beckinsale

Actor

Judy Greer

Writer/Director/Actor

Andrea Savage

Executive Producer

Funny Or Die

Producer

lauren

Producer

Alex Richanbach

Sound

BoTown Sound

Production Designer

Martin C Vallejo

Additional Credits [+]

Old embed code (only works with browsers that support Adobe Flash)

WEBVTT 00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.000 [Music Playing] 00:00:04.000 --> 00:00:10.000 <v Andrea Savage> Oh. I'm a busy woman. With a lot on my plate. And I'm a Republican. 00:00:10.000 --> 00:00:14.000 <v Judy Greer> I need a government that can move with the times. And I am a Republican. 00:00:14.000 --> 00:00:17.000 <v Kate Beckinsale> What do real Republican women want from their government? 00:00:17.000 --> 00:00:19.000 <v Judy Greer> I don't want government in my banks. 00:00:19.000 --> 00:00:22.000 <v Andrea Savage> I don't want government in my classrooms. 00:00:22.000 --> 00:00:26.000 <v Kate Beckinsale> Where do I want government? In my vagina! 00:00:26.000 --> 00:00:27.000 <v Andrea Savage> In my vagina. 00:00:27.000 --> 00:00:31.000 <v Judy Greer> Way, way, deep. Up, up there in my vagina. 00:00:31.000 --> 00:00:32.000 <v Andrea Savage> In my mother's vagina. 00:00:32.000 --> 00:00:34.000 <v Judy Greer> In my daughter's vagina. 00:00:34.000 --> 00:00:37.000 <v Kate Beckinsale> [Sniffles] In my great grandmother's vagina. 00:00:37.000 --> 00:00:43.000 <v Andrea Savage> My right to choose? What about my right to choose to not have a choice? 00:00:43.000 --> 00:00:48.000 <v Kate Beckinsale> Being a woman means having a vagina. But, it doesn't mean we want to have control of it. 00:00:48.000 --> 00:00:55.000 <v Andrea Savage> They're gooshy and they secrete things. Have you ever really looked at it? It looks like an unshaven clown. 00:00:55.000 --> 00:01:14.000 <v Judy Greer> They're actually kind of scary. They're like a black hole. Like a massive black hole that lures thousands of stars into its unrelenting gravitational pull. No, no, n-n-n-no. Not thousand. Just one. Sorry. I messed, I messed that up. It's one star. It lures one star. 00:01:14.000 --> 00:01:22.000 <v Andrea Savage> Joey! You can't have a cookie before dinner. Look, I make big decisions all day. And now the Democrats want me to make even more? 00:01:22.000 --> 00:01:31.000 <v Judy Greer> I could have the government provide access to affordable birth control. Decide when I want to get pregnant, and do tests on the fetus to make sure it's healthy and then have a baby. 00:01:32.000 --> 00:01:37.000 <v Kate Beckinsale> Or, the government could restrict birth control, up my chances of getting pregnant with an unwanted child. 00:01:37.000 --> 00:01:41.000 <v Andrea Savage> Forcing me to have an invasive vaginal ultrasound with no diagnostic purpose. 00:01:41.000 --> 00:01:46.000 <v Judy Greer> Scare me into refusing tests that they say more often than not end in abortion. 00:01:46.000 --> 00:01:50.000 <v Kate Beckinsale> And then have a baby. It's just easier. 00:01:50.000 --> 00:01:53.000 <v Judy Greer> Who are you gonna listen to? Your doctor? 00:01:53.000 --> 00:01:54.000 <v Andrea Savage> Or a Republican? 00:01:55.000 --> 00:01:58.000 <v Kate Beckinsale> Don't you want someone like your dad in your vagina? I do. 00:01:58.000 --> 00:01:59.000 <v Andrea Savage> I do. 00:01:59.000 --> 00:02:03.000 <v Judy Greer> Oh! I'd love to have my dad involved in my vagina! 00:02:03.000 --> 00:02:11.000 <v Andrea Savage> Luckily, during rape and incest, my omnipotent vagina knows it's wrong and secretes a hormone to keep me from getting pregnant. We all win! 00:02:11.000 --> 00:02:15.000 <v Kate Beckinsale> Let the Oval Office take care of your oval office. 00:02:15.000 --> 00:02:18.000 <v Judy Greer> Open up your legs and let the government in. 00:02:19.000 --> 00:02:20.000 [Descending Whistle] 00:02:20.000 --> 00:02:24.000 <v Announcer> Paid for by the Real Republican Real Women of Real America. 00:02:24.000 --> 00:02:28.000 [Music Playing]