You know how they always sayin'
talk is cheap?
Well they lie!
Well, I'm still cheap
but the talk ain't without its expenditures.
So we're here to fundraise
for How I Seize It
my loyal minions!
For three years,
I have dedicated my life
to bringing you, my internet family,
common sense 'How I Seize Its'
and countless laughs.
Well it's time to stiff ya with the bill, motherfuckers!
Naw but seriously…
We're here to raise money
to being you more years and years
of these bitch festiveness.
We got travel expenses.
And now that I'm an internet princess,
I don't never wear the same thing twice.
I get my shit handmade by China gals.
They work hard for they money, yeah…yeah!
Well I'm Too Legit To Quit now.
Well y'all might think I pull all this shit out my ass
but I got a writer.
His name Jason and he my #1 Faggit Buddy.
Goddamnit. Shut up, Buffy!
Y'all gimme some money
or I'm gonna stop feedin' my dog!
She shut up.
Y'all I need to be subsidized
with beer and cigarette money.
Hey but you ain't gonna leave empty-handed.
Just check out this list of keepsakes
we gonna have for ya!
And everything we receive go directly into production.
That's for gas, props, costumes…
Tapes, lotta fuckin' tapes, dude.
Cause sometimes I pass out
and I just say "Let It Roll!"
Hey, now listen.
We ain't makin' SHIT off this.
We just in this for the laughs
and the lessons about life we bring ya.
And just cause y'all just seem to
love the fuck outta us.
But some extra beer money never hurt no one!
So give til it hurts.
Get a piece of history.
And fund us yourselves…
So we don't have to sell out to the man.
Over and out, DB's.
I'll see you in 100 episodes from now
When we're tapped
and we have to do this all over again.
And maybe I be naked…
I mean, who knows?
GIMME SOME GODDAMN BEER MONEY!
And that's How I Seize It!