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GUTS - CHARLIE SHEEN INDICTED
Trollwire Underground News
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
On behalf of the GUTS Organization we have been urged to bring you this official response to the hate crimes of one Carlos Estevez, Warlock.
One human has captured the surface-level public eye with a force of unfiltered fury, a bitter enemy and danger to the under-dweller way of life, Charlie Sheen, menace. Now there is a great divide between the Warlock and the Troll and either you're in Sheen's Korner or with you're with the Trolls!
"Charlie Sheen has publicly slandered our otherwise upstanding name as Trolls and this time he has gone too far. Sure, we liked him in that movie where he was the Wildthing with Jobu, but that was over 20 years ago. There's also the fact that he lives with the goddesses. We too aspire to have a goddess under the bridge, if you know what I mean. Ahem... Anyway, we just want to get our side of things out there. If SHEEN is going to zero out Trolls and make it seem like we are a low class sort of creature, then it's only fair we get a chance to even up the score. Our time has come to stand up and on each other... we're short... Our time is now and SHEEN is not WINNING this one. TIGERBLOOD, my ass!"
GUTS Legal Disclaimer: Trolls are required by under-dweller law to scare little children, eat livestock, write riddles, guard bridges, build huts, eat frogs and hunt fairies. These acts do not reflect on the character of every troll nor are they grounds for slanderous remarks such as those from all beasts and warlock.
Mandatory viewing for all Trolls:
Troll v. Sheen, 'Built By Trolls,' by the Martin Bros., and you know...get in our corner and give Trolls a chance, I mean, what did we ever do to you?
GUTS (Glorified Underground Troll Society)
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