A hostage and a hostage-taker get dangerously close to one another.

Full Credits

Directed by Hank Nelken
Written by Holt Bailey and Brian Steele
Produced by Corey Moosa, Neal Dodson and Zachary Quinto
Executive Produced by Holy Bailey and Brian Steele
Production Company: Before the Door Pictures
Cinematographer: Marco Fargnoli
Edited by Dan Schalk
Music Composed by John Paesano
Music Production Services: First Seed Productions, Los Angeles
Sound Edited by Jason Tuttle
Sound Re-Recording Mixing by Jason Tuttle
Sound by Bo Sundberg
Special Effects Makeup by Dani Barkat
SFX Makeup Assistant: Sonia Cabrera
Still Photographer: Sean Akers
Poster Design: Sean Akers
Gaffer: Verlon Allen III
First Assistant Camera: Danny Gardner
PA: Sean Akers and Sean Cummings
Music Supervisor: Stuart Usry
Songwriters of "Then": Brad Paisley, Chris DuBois and Ashley Gorley
Performer of "Then": Brad Paisley
Starring Zachary Quinto as the Gunmen
Roberta Valderrama as the Hostage
Rachael Harris as the Skanky Broad
Brent Sexton as the Therapist
Staci Roberts as the Waitress
Holt Bailey as the Cashier
Corey Moosa as the Bartender
Brian Steele as the Mourner
Danielle Kennedy as the Old Lady
Martin Santelli as the Little Boy
Rea Sarokin as the Little Girl
Noah Nelken as the Baby
Rebecca Nelken as the Doctor
Sean Cummings as the Graduate Son
Emmalin Tuttle as the Crying Newborn Baby
George Heller
John Larson
Schawn Belston
Maria Maggenti
Chrysta Wilson
Kiss My Bundt Bakery
Trixze Smith
Ashley Williams
Rebecca Nelken
Staci Roberts
Peter Desberg
Cheryl Desberg
Mike Farah
Darryl Gudmundson
Funny Or Die
Sarah Clossey
Jason Weinberg
Chris Pappas
Jason Nadler
UTA Online
Garrett McKechnie
Brad Paisley
Bill Simmons
Chris Dallman
Shawn DePasquale
Enzo Mileti
Brandon Tesar
Heidi Santelli
Steve Carr
Erik Patterson
Susanna Fogel
Josh Cohen
Tamra Malaga
Blythe Robe
Josh Heine


Zachary Quinto: Hands up mother fuckers!
This is a fucking robbery!
Zachary Quinto: Empty the fucking
register now!
Holt Bailey: Not today asshole!
Zachary Quinto: Back the fuck off or I'll
cap this fucking bitch right in
Zachary Quinto: the fucking head, right
fucking now, right in
Zachary Quinto: front of your
fucking face!
Roberta Valderrama: Please, please, please!
He's serious. He'll do it.
Roberta Valderrama: Oh my God. Please
don't kill me.
Zachary Quinto: Shut the fuck up.
Roberta Valderrama: Oh no please, my blood
sugar's low.
Roberta Valderrama: I haven't eaten
anything all day.
Roberta Valderrama: Have you?
[tires screaching]
[police sirens]
Roberta Valderrama: That was the last time I
ever crashed a PTA meeting.
Zachary Quinto: Stop, you're crazy.
Staci Roberts: That's one tuna sandwich
and one Caesar salad.
Roberta Valderrama: Wait, is this
smoked guta?
Roberta Valderrama: I thought I ordered
regular guta.
Zachary Quinto: Wait a minute, the
guta's smoked?
Roberta Valderrama: It's ok. It's just my dad
died of lung cancer.
Roberta Valderrama: I'll just pick
it off.
Zachary Quinto: No, no, no, I'll get this.
Get me some fucking
Zachary Quinto: regular guta over here
right now you fucking
Zachary Quinto: bitch or I'll blow this
fucking bitch's head off
Zachary Quinto: right in front of your
fucking face, you fucking bitch.
Roberta Valderrama: How'd you get
so sweet?
Zachary Quinto: Oh, I have sisters.
Zachary Quinto: I'm sorry.
Roberta Valderrama: It's ok, baby.
It happens to everybody.
Zachary Quinto: Not to me it
Zachary Quinto: You're going to get
hard right now.
Zachary Quinto: If you don't start
working, I swear to God
Zachary Quinto: I'm going to do this bitch
in the fucking head
Zachary Quinto: right in front of your
tiny little mushroom
Zachary Quinto: fucking face, you
fucking bitch.
Roberta Valderrama: Oh, he'll do it.
He will fucking do it.
Zachary Quinto: Look who just came
to the party.
Roberta Valderrama: I love you.
Do you love me?
Zachary Quinto: For realsies
Zachary Quinto: Honey,
Zachary Quinto: will you marry me?
Roberta Valderrama: Of course. Of
course I will.
Zachary Quinto: You OK baby?
Roberta Valderrama: Yeah. You?
Zachary Quinto: I feel a little
Roberta Valderrama: Just remember baby, you'll
do this fucking bitch
Roberta Valderrama: right here.
Zachary Quinto: Right, right! Get this
fucking baby out of her
Zachary Quinto: fucking vagina now or I'll fucking
do this bitch in the
Zachary Quinto: fucking head, right in
front of your fucking face
Zachary Quinto: you fucking doctor
[baby cries]
Martin Santelli: Bang, bang,
bang, bang.
Zachary Quinto: Will you stop pointing
that gun at your sister.
Zachary Quinto: Jesus Christ, where do
they get this fucking shit?
Roberta Valderrama: It's those damn
video games.
Zachary Quinto: Alright baby, time to
fucking fall asleep,
Zachary Quinto: right now. Fall asleep.
Fall asleep. Fall asleep.
Zachary Quinto: Fall asleep. Fall asleep.
Fall asleep. Fall asleep.
Zachary Quinto: Jesus Christ. Fuck this,
I'm outta here.
Roberta Valderrama: Christ. Do I have to do
everything around here?
Roberta Valderrama: Oh, that's it. Run away.
Run away into your bottle,
Roberta Valderrama: you son of
a bitch!
Zachary Quinto: I don't understand. It
used to be so great.
Zachary Quinto: Now it's like my marriage, my kids,
I feel completely trapped.
Rachael Harris: Wow, and I thought I had
a big pussy.
Rachael Harris: I gotta get
outta here.
Zachary Quinto: No, hey, please just have
one more drink with me.
Rachael Harris: Yeah, I don't
think so.
Zachary Quinto: Hey! Get this fucking
bitch another drink or I'll do
Zachary Quinto: this other bitch in the
fucking head right in
Zachary Quinto: front of your fucking
face, you fucking bitch.
Roberta Valderrama: He'll do it.
He will fucking do it.
Brent Sexton: So, I think was a really
great session.
Brent Sexton: Do you feel you understand
what I'm saying?
Zachary Quinto: Yes. You're saying I don't
need to feel trapped by my love.
Zachary Quinto: It should set
me free.
Brent Sexton: No. That's not what I'm
saying at all.
Brent Sexton: This is a horrible
Zachary Quinto: Honey, I'm sorry. And I
promise that I will never
Zachary Quinto: run away again.
Roberta Valderrama: And I'm so sorry to and I
promise I will never fuck
Roberta Valderrama: our therapist again.
Zachary Quinto: What?
Brad Paisley: ♪ And now you're
my whole life ♪
Brad Paisley: ♪ Now you're my
whole world ♪
Brad Paisley: ♪ I just can't believe the way
I feel about you, girl ♪
Brad Paisley: ♪ Like a river meets the sea, ♪
Brad Paisley: ♪ Stronger than it's ever been. ♪
Brad Paisley: ♪ We've come so far since that day ♪
Brad Paisley: ♪ And I thought I loved you then ♪
[music fades]
Zachary Quinto: So the kids aren't joining
us for supper then.
Roberta Valderrama: It's just us. We'll have
to spend our fiftieth
Roberta Valderrama: anniversary alone.
Zachary Quinto: Ah.
Roberta Valderrama: What the matter? You don't
love me anymore?
Zachary Quinto: Of course I do. For
realsies babe.
Zachary Quinto: For realsies.
Party Attenders: Surprise!
[gun shot]
Zachary Quinto: Whoops.