Title Card: Home Taping with Jill and Clara Clara (off screen): Told you I should have done it on my own. Jill (o/s): You'll be grounded! Colin (o/s): You's need to get closer.
On screen Jill and Clara shuffle closer in front of the webcam. Jill: I'll be on her lip now in a second. Colin(o/s): Right, so there you go. Their miniature Jack Russell, Tiny, pops up into frame between them.
Title Card and music: Ignorance Jill gently moshes along to the song. Jill (re moshing): What'cha think of that? Clara: Loving it! Cut to: Jill: What is it about? What is the song about? Clara: It's about... she was just... I can't even explain what it's about-- Jill:
Do you know what it's about? It's about a young wan (girl) who's Ma
said, "Now, if you're going to go out with any fellas, and if you sleep
with anybody... I'll break your legs!" Clara: I've heard this lecture before! Cut to: Clara: Out of the whole album of, what, eleven songs, this was my least favorite. Jill: I heard it on MTV and I thought it was nice. I think she has a lovely color hair, but-- Clara: But I'm not allowed dye my hair that color? Jill: No. Clara: OK. Cut to: The pair wrestle for control of the mouse to choose the next song. Jill: Can we go on to-- Clara: Excuse me-- Jill: I'm doing it!
Title Card and music: The Only Exception Jill listens intently to the song. Jill: A bit country western, isn't it? Clara shakes her head. Jill: Taylor Swift? Clara shoots her a horrified look. Jill:
And she could be a young girl with a little ball gown on her, and she
could be at her prom, dancing around on the stage, and that would be
just....fantastic, wouldn't it? Clara stares at her in disgust for a long beat. Cut to: Jill: How long did you listen to that album for? Clara: I listened to it for a week and two days. Jill: When did you listen to it? I didn't hear you listening to it. When did you listen to it?! Clara: I listened to it during school. Jill: Like, at free time in school? Clara: I listened to it during Italian, during Maths, through double Art... Cut to: Clara (doing an emo impression): It's like she's reading my soul!... No, she's not really reading my soul.
Title card and music: Playing God
They shuffle along in time to the music. Jill lifts Tiny the dog into frame.
Jill: Does she want to dance? Clara sings along. Jill: I like that one. Clara: Yeah. Tiny (grunts): Hmm. Jill: Yeah! Hmm. She says, Hmm! Clara: Hmm! Cut to: Jill: I only heard one word and the word was... mirror. So is she looking in the mirror? Clara: Are you going deaf? Jill: Probably. Clara: This morning [you] couldn't hear that sound... Jill
(to camera): This morning....we has some friends of ours staying in ou
home and one of them had this little device that only animals and young
children under the age of, probably, fifteen or sixteen can hear. It's
a high-pitched tone, so our friend pressed it on and I thought it was
broken 'cause I couldn't hear nothin' and nobody else could hea
anything. So I took it up the stairs and took it into Clara's bedroom
and played it, and instantly she was like this (feverishly looking
around) going, "What's that noise?! I can hear that! I can hear that!
.... We could use it more often... to call her for the dinner, to get
her out of bed, to get her off the computer. All of those things. I
think it's a genius advice.
Clara looks suitably unimpressed.
Title card and music: All I Wanted Clara makes a heavy metal sign. Cut to: Jill and Clara stick out there tongues and make heavy metal signs with both hands. Jill: Come onnnnnn! Clara: Yeaaah! Cut to: Jill: All I wanted, really, was for her to shut up.