Starring - Brad Pitt and Zach Galifianakis Directed by - Scott Aukerman Executive Producers - Scott Aukerman, BJ Porter and Mike Farah Producers - Sean Boyle and Michelle Fox Cinematographer / Editor - Brian Lane Camera Operators - Paul Rondeau and Kyle Struve Sound - Kevin Kniowski
(theme music plays)
No I'm just saying I
Zach Galifianakis: President last time, and now I
got to go back to interviewing
Zach Galifianakis: dumb actors. That's all
I'm saying. No it's fine,
Zach Galifianakis: he's a big star.
Zach Galifianakis: Hi, welcome to
Zach Galifianakis: of Between Two Ferns, I'm
your host Zach Galifianakis.
Zach Galifianakis: My guest today Bradley Pitts.
Bradley Pitts, thanks for
- Zach: joining me.
- Brad: It's my pleasure.
Zach Galifianakis: How old were you when you
lost your virginity? Zero?
Zach Galifianakis: I'll tell you about my--
when I lost my virginity.
Brad Pitt: I-I... really not
like to hear that.
Zach Galifianakis: Showers...why don't
you take them?
(Brad makes a deep sigh)
Zach Galifianakis: You play a lot of people
that are kind of Nazi haters
- Zach: Which is weird to me--
- Brad: Why do you say that?
Zach Galifianakis: Because you look
like hitler's dream.
Brad Pitt: Hmm...yes, I understand
the conundrum of it all.
Zach Galifianakis: Naked pictures of you are
in Playgirl magazine many
Zach Galifianakis: years ago, and I only know
that, because my dad got a
Zach Galifianakis: subscription for me after I
graduated from junior high school,
Zach Galifianakis: and...anyway tell us about
this movie furry.
Brad Pitt: It's fury.
- Zach Galifianakis: Fury. It's not furry?
- Brad: No.
Zach: When does that
come out, on DVD?
Zach Galifianakis: I got you a gift,
and it's...do we have the gift?
Zach Galifianakis: Oh, it's right behind
the fern there.
Brad Pitt: (laughs) I wonder what that is?
Zach Galifianakis: It's a bassoon.
Brad Pitt: I thought it was
a bowling ball.
- Zach: You know, I'm a--
- Brad: Thank you.
- Brad: You know I'm a dad now.
- Zach: That's a bassoon. You can
- Zach: play it for your kids.
- Brad: Yeah, we don't bassoon
in my house anymore.
Zach Galifianakis: This is off topic just a bit,
but do you mind if I borrow
Zach Galifianakis: one or 2 of your sperms?
- Brad: Uh, no, I think that
would be inappropriate.
- Zach: Okay.
- Brad: It's just written down here.
I have to ask.
- Zach: I understand.
Zach Galifianakis: After a big meal on thanksgiving
do you ever like
Zach Galifianakis: unbutton your pants, and
just sit back and go...
Zach Galifianakis: Ooh boy.
- Brad: Don't recall doing that.
- Zach: You do a lot of charity work,
Zach Galifianakis: and I think that, it's like a really
great thing you do,
Zach Galifianakis: and I was wondering if you
could maybe tell us about
Zach Galifianakis: some of your charity work,
because I also am involved
- Zach: in a lot of charity work myself.
- Brad: Like what?
Zach Galifianakis: I work with this one group
called Doctor's Without
Zach Galifianakis: Diplomas. So brad, tell us
about your charity work.
Brad Pitt: Uh, yeah, it's something
I'm very proud of. It's
Brad Pitt: called the Make It Right
organization. We started
Brad Pitt: building in the Lower 9th
after hurricane Katrina.
Zach Galifianakis: Hold on one second. I
have to liven this up.
Zach Galifianakis: ladies and gentleman
Louis C.K. doing stand up.
Louis C.K.: Hey, how's it going everybody.
Great to be here, uh...
in New York, and uh, it's a
crazy town, there was a couple
Louis C.K.: of rats on the subway, and
I thought they were eith ebola
Louis C.K.: or ISIS.
Louis C.K.: I was like get outta, you know--
get outta here you rats.
Zach Galifianakis: Thank you.
Zach Galifianakis: He looks like a reversed
Benjamin Button doesn't he,
Zach Galifianakis: because he gets older now.
I play you--
Louis: Who you talking to?
Zach: I was talking to my good friend,
Zach Galifianakis: and they're about you,
but he was in Benjamin Button.
Zach Galifianakis: He was in it. That's why I said it.
He's in that movie.
- Louis: Your friend?
- Zach: Yeah.
Louis C.K.: Who did you play
in Benjamin Button?
- Zach: He's Benjamin Bottoms-Buttons.
- Brad: Benjamin Button.
Zach Galifianakis: That's the guy.
You can't recognize him because
Zach Galifianakis: of the makeup stuff. Yeah.
- Brad: I wasn't in makeup.
- Louis I don't care.
(same music plays again)
Zach Galifianakis: When you and Clooney get
dressed up in your tuxes
Zach Galifianakis: together, do you ever kind of
look at each other, and go
Zach Galifianakis: "Aren't we a couple
of dapper dans?"
Brad Pitt: Never happened
to my recollection.
Zach Galifianakis: Is it hard for you to
maintain a sun tan?
- Brad: Why?
- Zach: Because you live in
your wife's shadow.
Zach Galifianakis: Because I too had uh,
a romantic thing with someone
Zach Galifianakis: that was--
Zach: I had a romantic thing that was--
Zach Galifianakis: public and it got on my nerves--
(Brad mumbles something)
- Zach: --Because she kind of
Brad: That was my last piece.
Zach Galifianakis: It's um, I had the same
thing with Condi Rice
Brad Pitt: Oh, really.
Zach Galifianakis: Tell me what it was like
the first time that you laid
Zach Galifianakis: eyes on Angelina, was it like
one of those classical love stories,
Zach Galifianakis: like when, I don't know,
when Ross first saw Rachel.
Zach Galifianakis: You know that show Friends.
Have you seen that?
(Friends theme song plays)
Brad Pitt: I like that song.
Zach Galifianakis: Do you think that people
focus maybe too much on your looks,
Zach Galifianakis: and don't even you know,
realize that you're just
Zach Galifianakis: a shitty actor?
Brad: Next question.
(theme music plays)