June 11, 2015
HR69: How you doing?
FB87: Good. Are you-
HR69: Yeahhh! FunBags87?
FB87: Yeah, that's me!
HR69: How you doing?
HR69: So, uhhh...
FB87: Is this your first date in a while?
HR69: It is. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's embarrassing.
FB87: It's okay.
HR69: Yeah, it's been a while, so-
FB87: Just relax. We're gonna have a good time. It's gonna be fun.
HR69: Okay. Alright. Will do.
FB87: Umm. Okay. Sorry to be weird starting off, but I feel like there's a guy, like, looking over here?
HR69: Oh, him! Yeah, yeah. Oh that's uh - that's my best friend. I've been burnt recently by a couple females and he kinda just comes along with me. Yeah, kinda weird. He shouldn't be looking at you like that. I apologize. He's a little overprotective.
FB87: Oh, it's ok. I just was like - I was getting a little paranoid. I didn't know if there was like a spy - some red dot here - so I might be crazy.
HR69: Yeah, that's uhh - that's him!
FB87: Okay. Okay, cool.
HR69: Six. I have six brothers and sisters.
HR69: Yeah. What about you?
FB87: I have one.
HR69: One? Yeah?
FB87: She's uh - so not as exciting. She's actually months older - umm, not to be weird again - did your friend move closer? Is there something I did wrong?
Batman: Basic bitch.
HR69: Oh, umm - do you like Batman?
FB87: Yeah! Big fan!
HR69: He's Batman!
FB87: Ahh. Interesting.
HR69: Yeah, so -
FB87: So you're like Robin? Or -
HR69: Yeah. Ki- Yeah. I wouldn't worry about it.
FB87: As long as he doesn't think I'm Bane! That would be weird.
HR69: No, he's not gonna choke-slam you at the - at the diner. He'll probably do that in the parking lot.
HR69: So do you have any pets?
FB87: Uhh yeah. I actually have a dog. Funny story - I first went to, you know, one shelter - deadset on getting this one dog - black paws...Okay this is getting weird.
HR69: So you said, uhh, black paws with white fur?
HR69: So did he get spayed or neutered yet?
FB87: It's a girl. She was already spayed.
BM: He doesn't care.
FB87: You have any pets?
HR69: Yeah, I got - oh sorry, I'll get -
BM: No, don't worry about it. I got it.
HR69: You are the best friend ever, man! Seriously. Thank you so much! Yeah, I have two cats and three dogs. And uhh, yeah. We live right up the street, so - they're pretty cool animals.
FB87: Awesome...Look dude, I don't know what's going on here. I think your rod is already spoken for, so I'm outta here.
BM: Dude, don't worry about her. I didn't wanna say anything while she was here, but she was totally giving off lesbian vibes.
HR69: You thought that too, man?
HR69: Dude, I didn't want to be judgmental.
BM: No no no no no, believe me, believe me. I have a sense about these things.
HR69: Oh my God dude, that makes me feel so much better.
BM: Yeah man, don't worry about it.
HR69: How's your girlfriend?
BM: Oh man, she's good. You know - same old, same old.
HR69: She's such a sweetheart too, man. You're such a lucky guy.
BM: Yeah. Dude, you got something -
HR69: Thank you, man! One day, man...