Starring Erin Gibson and Greg Jones Written and Directed by Erin Gibson Produced by Ross Buran and Matt Mazany Director of Photography Matt Sweeney Sound Mixer Ryan Kaiser Gaffer Stephen St Peter
Erin Gibson: Hi, I'm Michelle Duggar, baby factory
for the Duggar family,
Erin Gibson: and gosh I just love
a split bang.
Greg Jones: And I'm Jim Bob Duggar, and I spend my time
going up to strange woman to
Greg Jones: tell them Christ's plan does not
involve birth control.
Erin Gibson: We would like to talk to you America,
because our son Josh is in a pickle.
Greg Jones: With more kids than an NBA team we were
bound to have one troubled kid.
Erin Gibson: When Josh was a teenager he made a mistake.
He mistaked two girls on their tootoos.
Greg Jones: That's what we call breast.
Erin Gibson: And their new-news.
Greg Jones: That's what we call new-news.
Erin Gibson: The point is we handled it, okay. When we
were first told about Josh's mistakes
Erin Gibson: we did the right thing, and we
ignored the girl who came forward.
Greg Jones: Girls lie all the time.
That's what they do.
Greg Jones: One of our daughters, something, I
don't care, once told me there was
Greg Jones: a frog in one of our 16
industrial washing machines.
I was searching in there all
day, I tell you what.
Erin Gibson: Here's the thing, some other girls did
come forward, and some of them
Erin Gibson: were our daughters, but honestly if you
asked me which one...I don't know.
Erin Gibson: Is it the brunette with
the curly hair?
Erin Gibson: I mean, we did the right thing, and immediately
waited 3 years before we called the authorities.
Greg Jones: And then we sent him to a counselor.
Erin Gibson: Who was our friend, this guy
Erin Gibson: we know who's in the remodeling
business in Little Rock.
Greg Jones: Josh moved on with his life, as the head
of the Family Research Council,
Greg Jones: he dedicated all his efforts to Christ's
love, and informing Americans about
Greg Jones: the dangers of homosexuals.
Erin Gibson: Homosexuals prey on children, and they do not
deserve to walk on God's great earth.
Greg Jones: And then leave it to a magazine called In Touch
to go all Scooby Doo'ing around,
Greg Jones: and to dig up all this pickle again.
Erin Gibson: It has been terrible for us, and Josh.
Erin Gibson: But those are the only 3 people
affected by these mistakes.
Greg Jones: We've been dealing with this situation
the best way we know how.
Greg Jones: Which means...yep, that's right,
Greg Jones: All you sinners out there for every baby you make, the Duggars are going to make 2.
Erin Gibson: I'm going to slide them
out 4 at a time.
Greg Jones: Pop-pop-pop...
Greg Jones: Like a little machine gun of Christianity.
(Funny or Die ending jingle)