Erin Gibson: Hi, I'm Michelle Duggar, baby factory
for the Duggar family,
Erin Gibson: and gosh I just love
a split bang.
Greg Jones: And I'm Jim Bob Duggar, and I spend my time
going up to strange woman to
Greg Jones: tell them Christ's plan does not
involve birth control.
Erin Gibson: We would like to talk to you America,
because our son Josh is in a pickle.
Greg Jones: With more kids than an NBA team we were
bound to have one troubled kid.
Erin Gibson: When Josh was a teenager he made a mistake.
He mistaked two girls on their tootoos.
Greg Jones: That's what we call breast.
Erin Gibson: And their new-news.
Greg Jones: That's what we call new-news.
Erin Gibson: The point is we handled it, okay. When we
were first told about Josh's mistakes
Erin Gibson: we did the right thing, and we
ignored the girl who came forward.
Greg Jones: Girls lie all the time.
That's what they do.
Greg Jones: One of our daughters, something, I
don't care, once told me there was
Greg Jones: a frog in one of our 16
industrial washing machines.
I was searching in there all
day, I tell you what.
Erin Gibson: Here's the thing, some other girls did
come forward, and some of them
Erin Gibson: were our daughters, but honestly if you
asked me which one...I don't know.
Erin Gibson: Is it the brunette with
the curly hair?
Erin Gibson: I mean, we did the right thing, and immediately
waited 3 years before we called the authorities.
Greg Jones: And then we sent him to a counselor.
Erin Gibson: Who was our friend, this guy
Erin Gibson: we know who's in the remodeling
business in Little Rock.
Greg Jones: Josh moved on with his life, as the head
of the Family Research Council,
Greg Jones: he dedicated all his efforts to Christ's
love, and informing Americans about
Greg Jones: the dangers of homosexuals.
Erin Gibson: Homosexuals prey on children, and they do not
deserve to walk on God's great earth.
Greg Jones: And then leave it to a magazine called In Touch
to go all Scooby Doo'ing around,
Greg Jones: and to dig up all this pickle again.
Erin Gibson: It has been terrible for us, and Josh.
Erin Gibson: But those are the only 3 people
affected by these mistakes.
Greg Jones: We've been dealing with this situation
the best way we know how.
Greg Jones: Which means...yep, that's right,
Greg Jones: All you sinners out there for every baby you make, the Duggars are going to make 2.
Erin Gibson: I'm going to slide them
out 4 at a time.
Greg Jones: Pop-pop-pop...
Greg Jones: Like a little machine gun of Christianity.
(Funny or Die ending jingle)