Twilight: The Broodening

Description: After seeing the movie "Twilight," I felt the need to write a parody highlighting the vast number of plot holes and disregard for even the most basic, common-knowledge traits of vampires. This is my version of how it should have been. Note: toward the end, you might notice that I call Edward "James." This isn't because I messed up the narration, it's just that I was calling Edward by the nickname that nobody knows about but me.