Starring Zoe Saldana as Kaye Kate Bosworth as Marghi Janeane Garofalo as the Bartender Greg Grunberg as the Regular Jason Lewis as Alex Victor Webster as Ivan Bruce Walrath as Dude Also featuring Brian Pollack, E-Kan Soong, Ace Marrero, and Marcos Reyes Written and Directed by Kat Coiro Produced by Christin Trogan Executive Producers: Lauren Bratman and Mike Farah Director of Photography: Antonio Scarlata B Camera: Brian Mulchy Edited by Danny Jelinkek First AC: Michael Bosman Second AC: Ray Lee Assistant Director: Greg Kindra Sound Consultant: BoTown Sound Sound Mixer/Boom: Kevin Faber Additional Sound Mixing by Ryan D. Cole Gaffer: Kevin Stewart Grip: Dave Cronin Swing: Ryan Ovadia Set Photographer: Tiffany Roohani Equipment Coordinator: Brian Lane Casting: Leslie Woo Production Design by Emmy Eves and Kathrin Eder Makeup and Hair: Shauna O'Toole Assistant Makeup and Hair: Sarah Laine Smith Makeup for Ms. Saldana: Ver Steimberg Hair for Ms. Saldana: Mara Roszak Wardrobe: Emmy Eves Production Assistants: Elliot Dickerhoof, Alexandra Kennedy, Samantha Chan Special Thanks to Michelle Fox, Jarid, and Bar Lubitsch of West Hollywood
Janeane Garofalo: I lived in Tierra del Fuego and then Zimbabwe before coming back to the States to earn my nursing degree, which was fulfilling, but very emotional draining. So I decided to bartend for a while.
Greg Grunberg: Okay.
Janeane Garofalo: You know, they’re very similar; caring for the weak, right?
Greg Grunberg: Ha ha.
Janeane Garofalo: So, Publilius Syrus says…
Greg Grunberg has stopped listening and, instead, is staring toward the door. AC/DC’s You Shook Me All Night Long is playing loudly.
Janeane Garofalo: Oh fuck.
Janeane Garofalo: Dude, will you turn that shit down!
Bruce Walrath: Sorry.
Janeane Garofalo: I can’t believe those two idiots are back.
Greg Grunberg: Why is that when women are threatened by beautiful women, they go right to insulting their intelligence?
Janeane Garofalo: Whoa! This has nothing to do with being threatened. They have the mental capacity of two year olds.
Zoe Saldana (in a child’s voice): What’s your favorite movie?
Kate Bosworth (also in a child’s voice): My favorite movie is Beverly Hills Chihuahua. Do you like my drum?
Zoe Saldana: I want to play with it.
Zoe Saldana: It’s my turn.
Kate Bosworth: Hey, give me my drum back.
Janeane Garofalo: What do you want?
Kate Bosworth: Dirt. A dog. Beer. A water. A water!
Janeane Garofalo: And you?
Zoe Saldana: Gimme orange juice.
Kate Bosworth: I got Buzz Lightyear underwear.
Kate Bosworth: I have to go poo-poo and then I have to go pee-pee. Stinky pee-pee.
Greg Grunberg: Oh, you know what, let me get that. Put it on my tab.
Greg Grunberg: Hello, ladies.
Zoe Saldana: You’re silly.
Kate Bosworth: You’re killy.
Zoe Saldana (to Kate Bosworth): You’re killy.
Kate Bosworth (to Zoe Saldana): You’re Billy.
Zoe Saldana: Say the magic word.
Kate Bosworth: Thank you.
Greg Grunberg: Man, those girls are incredible.
Janeane Garofalo: Can I help you?
Jason Lewis (in a child’s voice): Can I please have some apple juice?
Janeane Garofalo: Yeah.
Victor Webster (in a child’s voice): I’m a boy robot.