Backlash

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The video opens with Jonah Hill, Paul Rudd, Justin Long, and Craig Robinson playing Rockband. Justin long is singing. Craig Robinson is playing drums. Johan Hill and Paul Rudd are both playing guitar. The shot cuts to a TV screen displaying the video game for the final few moments of the song. The shot then cuts back to Jonah Hill, Paul Rudd, Justin Long, and Craig Robinson.

Jonah Hill, Paul Rudd, Justin Long, and Craig Robinson: Woo. Nice. That was good man! Fun!

There are some high fives and general celebration.

Jonah Hill: I just wish we could do this more often.

Paul Rudd: We should.

Justin Long: Well, we got it now. We can always get together and, uh, go to…we can do anything together guys. That’s what’s great about having friends. We can go to a movie. You know what I want to go see. I want to see that, uh, Walk Hard movie. I can’t wait to see that.

Paul Rudd: Is it just be cause we’re all sitting together and playing musical instruments and singing that makes you think of that movie?

Justin Long: Maybe. But, I, uh, I was also laughing so I thought about laughing and playing instruments.

Paul Rudd: You know what I heard?

Justin Long: What?

Paul Rudd: That the movie is so wild and so outrageous and edgy that they can’t even show the good stuff on the commercials.

Craig Robinson: I heard they show a guy’s dick in it.

Paul Rudd: Really?

Justin Long: What?

Jonah Hill: I heard they show two guys dicks.

Justin Hill: They show a dick? God, it doesn’t get any better than that.

Paul Rudd: Or sexier.

Jonah Hill: I heard John Torelli was nominated for an Academy Award.

Justin Long spits out the water he is drinking.

Justin Long: Like an Oscar…award.

Paul Rudd: I heard that Jack Black and Jack White are in it. Has it ever happened before?

Justin Long: In my dreams.

Craig Robinson: I got a little part in that. I got a part.

Justin Long: Are you serious?

Craig Robinson: Yeah.

Justin Long: You’re in that?

Craig Robinson: Yeah, yeah. I play Bobby Shad.

Justin Long: Cause, I’m in that you know.

Paul Rudd: You’re George Harrison…

Justin Long: Yeah.

Paul Rudd: Yeah, cause I was John Lennon, uh, in Walk Hard.

Jonah Hill: I’m actually in it also.

Paul Rudd, Justin Long, and Craig Robinson: Yeah? Really? Oh, great.

There is a round of congratulations between Jonah Hill, Paul Rudd, Justin Long, and Craig Robinson.

Justin Long: We were in scenes together?

Jonah Hill: Yeah.

Craig Robinson: You in all of Judd’s projects together. Superbad.

Jonah Hill: Yeah, Superbad just came out on DVD. You guys should get that.

Justin Long: The guy that did Walk Hard also did Superbad? Cause I loved Superbad.

Jonah Hill: Yeah, he made Superbad and also Knocked up.

Justin Long: Oh, I loved that movie too.

Jonah Hill: Which I was in and Paul.

Paul Rudd: Yeah, a lot of people also go out and buy a lot of these new movies that have just come out. But it’s nice to know that those classics like the 40 Year Old Virgin or Anchorman or Talladega Nights are all still there.

Jonah Hill: Yeah, what’s great is that if you want to go out to the theater you can also be like, hey, I don’t feel like watching Knocked Up or Superbad DVD, which I already bought because they’re fun to watch. I want to go to the theater and see this other movie. There’s this movie called Walk Hard.

Justin Long: Aside from the fact that we’re in it, I would want to see it anyway.

Paul Rudd: I want to see Walk Hard because I really like laughing. It just makes me happy.

Craig Robinson: What..what are you all talking about? What the…what the fuck is going on?

Paul Rudd: What do you mean, like Walk Hard, Knocked Up, Superbad, 40 Year Old Virgin, Anchorman.

Craig Robinson: What’s with the fucking commercials man?

Justin Long: What are you talking about, we’re hanging out.

Craig Robinson: What are you talking about? We’re sitting here having a discussion, I’m thinking we’re supposed to do a sketch.

Justin Long: Judd?

Judd Apatow walks into the scene.

Craig Robinson: Judd? Judd, what the fuck is going on?

Judd Apatow: We’re shooting a sketch.

Craig Robinson: You said to improve, but all I hear is fucking commercials for your movies.

Judd Apatow: Commercials? This is the future of shooting funny sketches.

Craig Robinson: This is not no fucking future man. I’m sitting here listening to them.

Judd Apatow: What?

Craig Robinson stands up.

Craig Robinson: You think I don’t have shit to do? Why you putting me in some commercial? This is supposed to be an original comedy sketch!

Judd Apatow: No, no this is, this is a funny sketch.

Craig Robinson: It’s not a funny fucking sketch! I ain't laughed once. They talkin about Superbad! They talkin about Knocked up! Walk Hard! You done pulled me into some viral marketing bullshit!

Judd Apatow: It’s not viral marketing. It’s comedy. How do you even define what marketing is anymore Craig? It’s all kinda part of the same thing. You know what I’m saying?

Craig Robinson: No.

Judd Apatow: You watch Survivor. The prize is a car. That’s the future of entertainment. You think you’re not going to be a part of that?

Craig Robinson: This is what you do?

Judd Apatow: What?

Craig Robinson: You put the shit on the extras. You have a fight with your actors and you pretend it’s real, but it’s fake!

Judd Apatow: Well, this is real!

Craig Robinson: This is some bullshit!

Judd Apatow: I don’t know what it is!

Craig Robinson: This is some bullshit and that’s what you do. You fucking Jew!

Judd Apatow: That’s not cool. That’s not cool.

Paul Rudd: Whoa, whoa.

Judd Apatow: What if I used a word about you?

Judd Apatow starts backing away from Craig Robinson.

Craig Robinson: What?

Judd Apatow: What if I said the word that you didn’t like?

Craig Robinson: What? What? What are you gonna say?

Craig Robinson follows Judd Apatow around the room.

Craig Robinson: Say it!

Judd Apatow: What if I say it?

Jonah Hill: Don’t say it! Don’t say it!

Judd Apatow: What if I said the word that you don’t want me to say to you?

Craig Robinson: What word? What word? What word do I not want you to say to me?

Judd Apatow: That’s the word I would never say!

Craig Robinson: Well, say it!

Judd Apatow: You said the word to me. You called me a Jew

Craig Robinson: I called you a Jew. Are you not a Jew?

Judd Apatow: I am a Jew.

Craig Robinson: That’s all I did, call you what you are.

Judd Apatow: But you said it pejoratively.

Craig Robinson: Pejoratively is not how I said it. I just said, you fucking Jew! (points to Paul Rudd) Are you Jewish?

Paul Rudd: I am.

Craig Robinson (points to Jonah Hill): Hey, are you Jewish?

Jonah Hill: Yeah, yeah.

Craig Robinson (points to Justin Long): Are you Jewish?

Justin Long: A little bit.

Craig Robinson: I bet you all got some kind of deal for being here.

Judd Apatow: Hey, you’re here! You’re not Jewish!

Craig Robinson: What am I? Go ahead, say it.

Judd Apatow: Well, now you’re totally scaring me.

Craig Robinson: Ain’t nobody trying to scare you. I’m just talking to you. We’re having a conversation. Like two men.

Judd Apatow: You’re not being the lovable guy from The Office right now. It’s not cool. You’re freaking me out.

Craig Robinson: Say it! Say it! Say what you gotta say!

Judd Apatow: What?

Craig Robinson: Say it!

Judd Apatow: The word?

Craig Robinson: Say it! Yes! Say it! Say the word!

Judd Apatow: I’ve never even said it.

Craig Robinson: Say it!

Judd Apatow: I don’t even know how to pronounce it! Say I’m not a Jew.

Craig Robinson: I’m not a Jew.

Judd Apatow: No, say that I’m not a Jew.

Craig Robinson: You’re not a Jew.

Judd Apatow: I am a Jew.

Judd Apatow turns and runs out the door.

Justin Long: Run Judd!

Paul Rudd: Craig, come on. Whoa, whoa.

Craig Robinson walks out the door after Judd Apatow.

Paul Rudd: Jesus.

Jonah Hill: Judd’s Jewish?

The shot cuts to Judd Apatow running away from Craig Robinson around a bank of cubicles.

Craig Robinson: Come here, motherfucker! Come on!

Judd Apatow crouches down by some cubicles.

Craig Robinson: I see you. I can see you. You can’t hide. You can run, but you can’t hide.

The shot cuts back to Justin Long, Jonah Hill, and Paul Rudd.

Paul Rudd: That argument reminded me of the scene where Seth approaches Katherine Heigl in Knocked Up.

Justin Long: It’s over. He’s not here. Paul, it’s done. He’s not here. You don’t have to do it.

Paul Rudd: Sorry, it’s just a habit.

The shot cuts to Judd Apatow fleeing before Craig Robinson and runs down a flight of stairs. The theme music to Mortal Kombat plays in the background. The shot cuts back to Jonah Hill, Paul Rudd, and Justin Long.

Jonah Hill: So, uh, what are you guys gonna do tonight?

Paul Rudd: I want to go see Michael Clayton.

Justin Long: I heard the real Michael Clayton’s not even that attractive.

Jonah Hill: He actually looks more like Matt Damon than George Clooney. I was surprised they didn’t….Maybe that asked Matt to do it first.

Paul Rudd: I thought Michael Clayton was the basis for U2.

Justin Long: That’s Mario Cotone.

Jonah Hill: That’s Scottie Pippen

Paul Rudd: Oh, my bad.

The shot cuts to Judd Apatow bursting out of the stairwell and hiding beneath a desk. Craig Robinson burst out of the stairwell and looks around.

Craig Robinson: Y’all seen Judd. Judd! I never give up! I never give up! The backlash has begun. And you looking at him.

Craig Robinson goes to look in another room and Judd Apatow bolts back into the stairwell. The shot cuts back to Jonah Hill, Paul Rudd, and Justin Long.

Paul Rudd: That last time I saw Judd run that fast, somebody dropped a quarter.

The shot cuts to Craig Robinson chasing Judd Apatow through traffic outside.