An epic rap video about the trials and tribulations of mowing the lawn

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July 22, 2010



Verse 1
my wife's at the window
I'm half-asleep in the bed
I can see it in her eyes though
read the thoughts in her head
She's looking at me half-cryin'
all like, "baby i'm scared"
I tell her everything's alright
then I start gettin' prepared

Yo every week and a half
you'n catch me gettin' my fight on
and yo son here's the catch
this battle happens on my lawn
it may be epic mang
but it's become a pain in my ass
kiss my wife goodbye
cause I'm gon' go to war with the grass

Chorus 1
I mow the lawn
I run it over cut it down with a mowe
I mow the lawn
I use the edger, weed-wacker and blowe
I mow the lawn
messin' with their heads when I'm choppin' 'em down
I mow the lawn
cause I don't bag it man, I straight up leave that shit on the ground!

Verse 2
I don't wear my good shoes
I like to keep them shits clean
there's gon' be plenty of blood
and when they bleed they bleed green
I normally wear shorts
but if it's cold I wear jeans
but, again, not my good ones
I like to keep them shits clean!

hey yo these plants ain't fools man
they put up a good fight
they know I'll kill 'em in daylight
but I won't touch 'em at night
so when I'm layin' down sleepin'
they're unfolding their plans
of gettin' tall enough to seed
and overgrowin' the land

yo all these blades are sharpened up
and now the battle's begun
I'm all alone man,
this fight is like a million on one
but yo I'm standin' my ground
there's no way in hell I'm gon' run
cause if I have to...
I'll mow that shit with my gun!

Chorus 2
I mow the lawn
I cut it short so it'll never forget
I mow the lawn
just when it's dry cause it won't cut when its wet
I mow the lawn
I'm not playin' mang I quit when it rain
I mow the lawn
but when it's dry yo I'm straight bringin' the pain!

Verse 3
It only takes about an hou
man this fight isn't fai
then I go in and take a showe
but yo it doesn't stop there
no matter how many times i mow
no matter how hard i try
a little water sun and soil
they straight reach for the sky

and in the winter when its snowin'
im sittin' on my couch cryin'
i know that grass isn't growin'
but yo it's sure as hell tryin'
and now my mind is getting week and
yo im startin' to unravel.
i'm thinkin' next year i'm coverin'
my entire yard in gravel.

Chorus 3
I mow the lawn
I don't want to but it's neighborhood law
I mow the lawn
i gotta wear gloves just so my hands don't get raw.
I mow the lawn
I try to think of it as some kind of wa
I mow the lawn
but I aint winnin' and it's more like a chore.