An Ugly Man on the Zombie Onslaught

Derivativecomics.com - Death surrounds you; the corpses of your friends and neighbors want to consume your brains; and you can’t complain about stuck-up girls to your mom because you’ve... more »

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Description: Derivativecomics.com - Death surrounds you; the corpses of your friends and neighbors want to consume your brains; and you can’t complain about stuck-up girls to your mom because you’ve just shot and cooked her for breakfast. This, friends, is the world of the future--- if Obama gets his way on Health Care, that is.

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Keywords: Zombie Onslaught pain ugly walking dead necrophilia retarded zombies crap gun control political freedoms

Patience is overrated...

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The world certainly has changed since the beginning of the zombie onslaught.

For example, People used to bury the dead. Now, we eat them. We don’t do it to survive. Instead, we eat them because you can’t be sure a corpse is really dead till you’ve cooked, digested, and shat it out.

Also, now that the hideous walking dead are among us, citizens will accidentally murder people who sort of look like they could be zombies. Like the elderly, or the very ugly. As I myself am incredibly ugly, I now find dating to be twice as difficult.

Other changes include a complete loss of personal and political freedoms,, an economic downturn in the funeral business sector, and a slight change of attitude when it comes to that sweetest sexual taboo...Necrophilia.

And now, you’ll have to excuse me. I had to shoot my own mother in the head earlier today. Then I had to cook and eat her. I’m just a little emotional about it. Also, I think mom’s about to give me diarrhea.