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Description:
For only $20 a month...
Patience is overrated...
Patience is overrated...
The video opens with a shot of the cover of Tremors and pans across the covers of Footloose and Wild Things.
Announcer: Tremors. Footloose. Wild Things. What do these movies have in common? Kevin Bacon.
The shot cuts to black screen with white text that reads Kevin Bacon. The shot cuts back to the movie covers.
Announcer: And for just $20 a month, you can own all these classic films by joining the Kevin Bacon Movie Club.
The shot cuts to a cropped image of Kevin Bacon’s head next to giant
yellow text that read KEVIN BACON MOVIE CLUB. The shot cuts to a stack
of movies and a framed document.
Announcer: Every thirty days you’ll receive a new Kevin Bacon film,
complete with a signed movie poster and a certificate of authenticity.
The shot cuts to the front door of a house. You see a hand reach out
and knock on the door. A man approaches the door from the interior of
the house and opens the door.
Announcer: And, best of all, Kevin Bacon will personally deliver it, right to your doorstep.
Kevin Bacon is revealed to be the person knocking on the door.
Husband: It’s Kevin Bacon.
Kevin Bacon: Pretty cool, right?
Husband: Yeah!
Kevin Bacon holds up a handful of his films.
Kevin Bacon: Let’s do it.
Announcer: Kevin Bacon will then enter your home and watch the movie with you.
Kevin Bacon enters the house and goes into the living room. The
husband’s wife is sitting on the couch and begins fluffing her hair
when she sees Kevin Bacon.
Kevin Bacon goes over to the television.
Kevin Bacon: Let’s get this thing going.
Wife: I was actually watching something.
Kevin Bacon ignores the wife, pats her on the leg and forcible sits between her and her husband on the couch.
Kevin Bacon: Yeah, ok. (Looks at the husband) Bro, you got any brews?
Kevin Bacon removes his shoes and puts his feet up on the coffee table.
Husband: Um, yeah. Yep.
Husband gets up to get Kevin Bacon a beer. Shot transitions to a shot of the TV with Kevin Bacon on screen.
Announcer: You’ll feel like a real Hollywood insider watching a Kevin Bacon movie with Kevin Bacon.
The shot cuts back to Kevin Bacon eating a sandwich and drinking a beer on the couch. He points to the screen.
Kevin Bacon: Alright, Apollo 13.
The television shows a clip from Apollo 13. The shot cuts back to Kevin Bacon on the couch with the couple.
Kevin Bacon: We shot this whole movie in space.
Husband: That’s not, um, that’s not possible. Special effects, I think.
Kevin Bacon proceeds to let out a long, loud fart. The husband covers
his mouth and nose. The wife looks at Kevin Bacon in disbelief. Kevin
Bacon has an expression like an amused child.
Husband: Oh my god.
Kevin Bacon laughs and puts his hand in the air for a high five.
Announcer: This is one movie club you’re gonna want to be a part of.
The shot cuts to Kevin Bacon picking up the couple’s phone and dialing a number.
Kevin Bacon: Hey, listen, I may have to crash here tonight. Things are not going so great with the ball and chain.
The wife and husband look at each other and signal each other in the negative. Husband mouths: What am I going to do?
Announcer: Kevin Bacon in your house. Imagine that.
Shot cuts to Kevin Bacon holding a picture frame in one hand with his
other arm around the shoulders of the husband. He is holding a beer in
the hand of the arm around the husband.
Kevin Bacon (shakes head negatively): Oh no, one of these kids is not yours.
Husband: What?
Kevin Bacon: Oh, you’re wife is definitely not telling you something.
Shot cuts to Kevin Bacon sprawled on an island in the center of a
kitchen. He is surrounded by empty cans and the husband and wife look
on disapprovingly. He knocks back another swig from a can and knocks
empty cans off the counter with his leg. Sad piano music plays in the
background.
Kevin Bacon: You guys are like the real thing.
The shot cuts to the image of Kevin Bacon’s head and the yellow text that says KEVIN BACON MOVIE CLUB.
Announcer: The Kevin Bacon Movie Club
Shot returns to Kevin Bacon sprawled on the island counter.
Kevin Bacon (clearly drunk): So, I say. Ok, so it’s in space. We should
shoot it in space. Nobody wants to do it. They’re like…ahhhgh, that’s a
dumb idea. Ron Howard’s like ahhgg, that’s a dumb idea.
The shot cuts to a stock appearing promotional image with a telephone
number, 1-800-BACON-CLUB. The MasterCard and Visa logos are visible.
There is also text that reads: Call now and receive your first Kevin
Bacon retrieval absolutely free.* Lower down it reveals that the Kevin
Bacon retrieval is *A $300 VALUE.
Announcer: Join in the next twenty minutes and your first Kevin Bacon retrieval will be free!
The image cuts to two men who look like bouncers dragging Kevin Bacon out the front door of the couple’s house.
Bouncer #1: Come on.
Kevin Bacon: Where are we going?
Bouncer #2: Somebody in Idaho wants to watch Footloose with you.
Kevin Bacon (Cheers right up): Oh. (He smiles at the camera) See you next month.
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