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Erin and Bryan are going to see Ghost the Musical, and they're NOT doing it sober.... more »
Published July 15, 2014 29k views More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Starring Erin Gibson & Bryan Safi
Special Guests Jack and Rachel Antonoff
Written by Erin Gibson & Bryan Safi
Special Guest: Rhett Miller
Producer: Ross Buran
Producer: Ben Sheehan
Camera Op: Cristina Dunlap
Editor: Ian Skalski
Camera Op: Matt Sweeney
Art: Tricia Robertson
Follow Erin & Bryan on Twitter
Erin:
http://www.twitter.com/gibblertron
Bryan:
http://www.twitter.com/bryansafi

1

(ERIN): THIS IS

2

(ERIN AND BRYAN TOGETHER): THROWING SHADE.

3

(BRYAN): WHERE FEMINASTY ERIN GIBSON,

4

(ERIN): AND HOMOSENSUAL BRYAN SAFI,

5

(BRYAN): TAKE A LOOK AT THE HEADLINES AND POLITICS,

6

(ERIN): AND POP CULTURE,

7

(BRYAN) AND TREAT THEM WITH MUCH

8

LESS RESPECT THAN THEY DESERVE.

9

(ERIN): CAN YOU HANDLE IT?

10

>: T-MINUS ONE DAY UNTIL
GHOST THE MUSICAL.

11

>: THE SPIRITS SING.

12

>: FIRST OF ALL, ARE YOU
TAKING DRUGS, BECAUSE I'M TAKING DRUGS?

13

>: I MEAN, LIKE ADVIL?

14

>: YEAH.
>: YEAH, PROBABLY TAKING AN ADVIL.

15

MY SHOULDER'S HAVE BEEN
BOTHERING ME.

16

SO YOU WANT TO HAVE
YOUR SHOULDER RELAXED?

17

>: YES.
>: FOR WHEN WHOEVER IS PLAYING
WHOOPI GOLDBERG

18

>: YOU GOTTA KEEP YOUR SHOULDER'S DOWN AND

19

OUT WHEN YOU'RE WATCHING
GHOST THE MUSICAL.

20

I HAVE MORE XANAX IF YOU
WANT TO DO THAT.

21

I BET IF I TAKE XANAX AND
WATCH GHOST THE MUSICAL,

22

NO JOKE, I WILL WEEP. I FEEL LIKE
I WILL BE, LIKE WHEN I WAS ON THE PLANE

23

I WILL BE SO MOVED--

24

>: OVERCOME?
>: BY LIKE THAT CLAY...

25

>: UNCHAINED MELODY?
>: WHAT DO YOU THINK THE

26

CLAY POT SCENE, THE SONG IS CALLED?

27

>: THE SHIT JUST HIT THE SPINDLE.
>: YEP.

28

>: YEAH.
(BRYAN): WHEN I WAS LITTLE

29

I BEGGED MY SECRETARY TO
TAKE ME TO SEE THE MOVIE.

30

GHOST.
>: WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE

31

YOU BEGGED YOUR SECRETARY TO--

32

>: WAIT, WHAT DID I TELL?
BABYSITTER.

33

I WAS RICHIE--
I WAS A CHILD GENIUS.

34

>: YOU'RE RICHIE RICH, YEAH.
>: I RAN A VERY PROFITABLE

35

TEMP AGENCY.
>: YOU DID A SLIDE FULL OF GOLD.

36

>: ABSOLUTELY, I RAN A VERY
PROFITABLE TEMP AGENCY CALLED

37

TEMPTATIONS.
>: YEAH.

38

>: WHERE ALL THE TEMPS WOULD
REPORT TO ME EVERYDAY AND I

39

WOULD ASSIGN THEM--
>: THEY'D DO FOUR PART HARMONY.

40

>: EXACTLY SO OF COURSE I
HAD A SECRETARY. I MEAN

41

THIS WAS THE 80S SO BACK THEN
THAT WAS AN APPROPRIATE TERM.

42

>: AND YOU WERE LIKE, DIANE,
I NEED TO GO SEE GHOST.

43

>: ABSO... BUT I'M TOO YOUNG,
AND SO THEN DIANE TOOK ME.

44

SHE SUCKED ME IN--

45

>: PUT YOU ON STILTS, PUT
YOU IN A TRENCH COAT, YEAH.

46

>: TOTALLY. MUSTACHE THE
WHOLE THING.
>: YEAH.

47

>: KID DETECTIVE STYLE.
>: BUT I BEGGED HER, I BEGGED,

48

BEGGED, BEGGED HER TO
TAKE ME TO SEE GHOST.

49

>: AND DID SHE TAKE YOU?
>: SHE DID AND THEN,
WAIT WAS THAT--

50

NO... SHE TOOK ME TO SEE...
YES, SHE TOOK ME TO SEE GHOST.

51

>: IS WAS THAT WHEN YOU
REALIZED THAT YOU WERE GAY

52

WHEN YOU DIDN'T UNDERSTAND
THE LOVE STORY?

53

>: NO. YEAH, I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND A LOVE

54

BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN.

55

>: NO.
>: ONLY A MAN AND A MAN.
IT TOOK ME UNTIL

56

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN TO
UNDERSTAND I WAS GAY.

57

>: WELL THAT'S WHY I THINK
BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN WAS LIKE A HUGE

58

MOVIE BECAUSE UNTIL THEN--
>: BECAUSE EVERYONE CAME OUT OF THE CLOSET.

59

>: --NO ONE KNEW, BECAUSE THEY
DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO

60

LIKE, YOU KNOW, IDENTIFY WITH.
>: YEAH. WAS THERE A MOVIE

61

WHEN YOU WERE YOUNGER, THAT LIKE--

62

WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST RATED-R MOVIE?
>: GHOSTBUSTERS.

63

>: OH IT WAS?
>: AND I WAS...

64

>: I DON'T THINK IT'S RATED -R THOUGH.
BUT IT WAS LIKE

65

YOUR FIRST ADULT MOVIE.
>: PG-13. MY MOM TOOK ME WHEN I

66

WAS 4.
>: GHOSTBUSTERS,
GHOST, THE PARANORMAL--

67

>: WE ARE ATTRACTED TO IT.
>: WE'VE ALWAYS BEEN

68

ATTRACTED TO IT.
>: REMEMBER WHEN OPRAH USED TO

69

DO GHOST STORIES LIKE IN THE
80S ON HER SHOW?
>: YEAH.

70

MY FRIEND MEGAN WHEN WE
WERE GROWING UP, SHE HAS--

71

>: A SCREEN DOOR THAT SLAMS?
>: I THINK HER GRANDFATHER

72

OR HER GREAT GRANDFATHER WAS
NATIVE AMERICAN. SO SHE

73

HAD NATIVE AMERICAN BLOOD.
HE DIED KIND OF YOUNG, BUT HIS WIDOW--

74

>: THEY ALWAYS DIE YOUNG. KE$HA SAID IT FIRST.

75

>: (sings) only the betta...

76

SO HIS WIDOW, THE WOMAN HE MARRIED,
WHICH WAS A WHITE WOMAN--

77

>: SCANDAL. DID HE KIDNAP HER
AND FORCE HER TO MARRY HIM?

78

>: NO, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT
HAPPEN TO MY AUNT ANNIE?

79

>: IT WAS CONSENSUAL.
>: MY AUNT ANNIE HAD TO HIDE

80

IN A LAUNDRY BASKET WHEN THE NATIVE AMERICANS...
>: LAUNDRY BASKET...

81

>: WHEN THE UM, NATIVE AMERICANS--
>: NATIVE AMERICANS...

82

>: YEAH, SHE'S LIKE MY GREAT,
GREAT AUNT. THEY

83

HAD TO HIDE HER IN A LAUNDRY
BASKET SO SHE WOULDN'T GET (laughs)--

84

>: BECAUSE NATIVE AMERICANS,
EVERYONE KNOWS THAT THEY

85

FEED OFF OF CHILDREN.
>: AND THEY'RE SCARED OF LAUNDRY, BASKETS.

86

>: YES. OH GOD.
>: SO MEGAN'S GRANDMOTHER, WHOEVER

87

THE WIDOW--
>: GRANDMOTHER.
WHITE GRANDMOTHER.

88

>: WHITE GRANDMOTHER, DIED
HER HAIR TURQUOISE, NO JOKE, AND WOULD

89

ALWAYS WEAR LIKE MOCCASINS.
LIKE AS IF SHE...

90

LIKE SHE, IT WAS ALMOST
A PARODY OF IT.

91

>: WAIT, WHILE THEY
WERE MARRIED?

92

>: AFTER HE DIED.
>: AS AN HOMAGE TO HIM?

93

>: YES. AND MEGAN ONE TIME
WAS OVER THERE, AND--

94

>: WHY TURQUOISE?
>: AND
HER GRANDMOTHER WAS LIKE--

95

>: (ERIN): SHE KNEW NOTHING
ABOUT NATIVE AMERICANS.

96

>: --MEGAN ARE YOU WARM,
DO YOU WANT ME TO TURN ON THE

97

AIR CONDITIONING. AND MEGAN
TO BE POLITE, SHE WAS LIKE OH,

98

NO, NO, I'M FINE AND SHE GOES, I CAN TELL YOU

99

HAVE NATIVE AMERICAN BLOOD
IN YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE ABLE

100

TO ADAPT TO
DIFFERENT CLIMATES.

101

>: WHAT THE--
>: AND WAS LIKE SERIOUS.

102

>: WOW.
>: YEAH.

103

>: SO HER GRANDMOTHER WAS
MARRIED TO A NATIVE AMERICAN,

104

BUT ALSO WAS RACIST AGAINST
NATIVE AMERICANS?

105

>: YES, AND BASICALLY
LOOKED LIKE DAME MEDNA.

106

>: OH RIGHT, DAME MEDNA IF
SHE WAS LIKE AN AMERICAN GIRL

107

PALACE THE NATIVE
AMERICAN GIRL? OR--

108

>: YES.
>: Y-YEAH...

109

>: AMERICAN GIRL PLACE.
>: AMERICAN GIRL PLACE.

110

YOU ALWAYS CALL IT A PALACE.
>: I KNOW.

111

>: IT'S JUST A PLACE ERIN.
>: WELL BECAUSE THEY HAVE A

112

PLAYHOUSE INSIDE.
>: THEY DO.

113

>: YOU KNOW, I ONCE, TO FACE
MY FEAR OF AMERICAN GIRL PLACE

114

WENT IN AT THE GROVE, AND
FACED DOWN A DOLL, AND I WAS JUST

115

LIKE, COME ALIVE BITCH.
>: YEAH.

116

>: I'M WAITING FOR YOU TO
COME ALIVE AND GNAW MY FINGERS

117

OFF.
>: YEAH.

118

>: AND IT NEVER HAPPENED,
BUT IF YOU STARE AT AMERICAN

119

GIRL DOLLS FOR LONG ENOUGH,
YOU DO GET SCARED.

120

>: I WANT TO USE AMERICAN
GIRL PLACE DOLLS AS

121

VOODOO DOLLS.
>: OH THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

122

>: HOW AWFUL WOULD THAT BE.
>: W-WELL, WHO--

123

>: JUST PRETTY GIRLS
JUST BEING LIKE...

124

>: WELL IT'S JUST ACUPUNCTURE.

125

>: YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
>: THAT'S ALL VOODOO IS, IS

126

ACUPUNCTURE.
>: IT ACTUALLY HELPS.

127

>: MY DR. IS VOODOO PRIEST.
>: OH HE IS?

128

>: PRIESTESS SORRY.
>: NO, THAT'S COOL.

129

>: SEXIST OF YOU.
>: SO OFFENSIVE, YEAH.

130

>: YOU KNOW, WHO COULD'VE
REALLY, REALLY NEEDED

131

VOODOO DR.'S OR PRIESTS?
>: WHO?

132

PATRICK SWAYZE IN GHOST, AND NOW.

133

134

>: WELL VOODOO IS A--
>: IS IT IRONIC THAT HE IS NOW A GHOST?

135

THINK ABOUT IT.
>: I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT.

136

THE ANSWER IS NO.
ERIN YOU'RE IN DANGER--

137

>: DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS?
BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE

138

IN GHOSTS, THEN YOU DON'T
BELIEVE PATRICK SWAYZE IS STILL

139

WALKING THESE LANDS.
>: FUCK OFF.

140

141

>: ERIN, I TRAVEL ACROSS THE UNIVERSE
FOLLOWING OPERA HOUSES.

142

>: OH, I LOVE THAT MUSICAL.
ACROSS THE UNIVERSE, BEETLES?

143

>: YEAH, NO. VERY, YOU KNOW ME,
VERY CULTURED.

144

>: OPERA HOUSES...
>: DIAMONDS, BRACELETS, YOU KNOW

145

WHAT I MEAN, I'M CONSTANTLY--
>: YOU'RE ALWAYS INTO BEERS.

146

>: ALWAYS INTO BEERS.
I HAVE A BALCONY BOX SEAT, IT'S SO

147

FUNNY, BECAUSE I WAS AT THE OPERA,
THE JULIA ROBERTS AND

148

RICHARD GERE WERE AT
IN PRETTY WOMAN.

149

>: YOU WERE?
>: I WAS SITTING BEHIND THEM GIVING

150

THEM A DIRTY LOOK--
>: WHAT WAS THAT, BOTTICELLI

151

OR SOME SHIT?
>: YEAH, BOTTICELLI'S A BEAR (laughs)--

152

SO A SOPRANO FROM THE
COUNTRY GEORGIA TAMAR IVERI

153

WHO IS I GUESS, BRILLIANT--
>: I LOVE THE NAME TAMAR.

154

>: IS SHE A SOPRANO? I THINK SHE IS.
SHE WAS SCHEDULED TO

155

SING DESDEMONA AND OTELLO AT
OPERA AUSTRALIA WHICH IS--

156

>: YOU MIGHT AS WELL BE SPEAKING CHINESE.
>: RIGHT.

157

SO, WELL, SHE WAS SUPPOSED
TO DO THAT LATER THIS YEAR,

158

BUT SHE'S BEEN ASKED NOT TO
PERFORM THERE BECAUSE OF AN

159

OPEN LETTER SHE WROTE AND
POSTED IT ON TO FACEBOOK

160

ABOUT GAY PEOPLE, BASICALLY.
>: OOH. I KNOW-- I HEARD

161

ABOUT THIS WOMAN.
>: IT'S PRETTY CRAZY.

162

>: I RESCIND MY LIKING OF
THE NAME TAMAR.
>: YES.

163

IT'S A HUGE-- AND ALSO, WHO
THE FUCK DOES SHE THINKS

164

GOES AND SEE'S THE OPERA?
GAY PEOPLE. FOR BASICALLY

165

EXCLUSIVELY--
>: OOH...

166

>: --TO KEEP THE OPERA ALIVE.
>: I DIDN'T KNOW

167

WHAT THE FUCK YOU WERE TALKING
ABOUT.
>: EXACTLY.

168

>: IF IT DOESN'T HAVE TO DO
WITH SKID ROW, THE BAND.

169

>: RIGHT. SHE DESCRIBES,
TAMAR IVERI IN THIS UM,

170

OPEN LETTER ON FACEBOOK
ABOUT LGBT PEOPLE, DESCRIBED

171

THEM AS DEVIANT, AND SUGGESTS
HOMOSEXUALITY IS PART

172

OF THE FECAL MASS BEING FOISTED
ON GEORGIA BY THE WEST.

173

>: FECAL MASS.
>: YEAH.

174

>: WHAT IS THAT? JUST A PILE OF SHIT?
>: I GUESS JUST A

175

MASS OF SHIT.
>: MM-HMM.

176

>: JUST A TON OF JUST WALKING
SHIT HEADED YOUR WAY.

177

SO SHE MADE THESE REMARKS IN
RESPONSE TO A VERY VIOLENT ANTI-GAY

178

RIOT THAT BROKE OUT AT
A GAY RIGHTS RALLY IN--

179

>: IN GEORGIA.
>: TBILISI I THINK IT'S CALLED, GEORGIA.

180

WHERE BASICALLY THERE WAS AN
EVENT THAT HAPPENED, THAT WAS CALLED

181

THE INTERNATIONAL DAY
AGAINST HOMOPHOBIA AND

182

TRANSPHOBIA. IT WAS SORT OF
A GAY RIGHTS DAY AND THERE

183

WAS A VIOLENT OUTBURST,
VIOLENT ANTI-GAY OUTBURST.

184

PEOPLE-- IT WAS TERRIBLE.
PEOPLE ALMOST WERE KILLED.

185

>: JESUS.
>: YEAH. IT WAS AWFUL. SO THE GEORGIAN

186

PRESIDENT ACTUALLY CONDEMNED
THIS VIOLENCE AND SAID THAT

187

THIS WAS WRONG THAT THIS HAPPENED,
AND THEN SHE LAMBASTED

188

THE GEORGIAN PRESIDENT AND
SAID THAT SHE WAS PROUD

189

OF THE FACT THAT THE
GEORGIAN SOCIETY SPAT AT THE

190

PARADE. AND THEN SHE SAID
THAT IN CERTAIN CASES IT IS

191

NECESSARY TO BREAK JAWS IN
ORDER TO BE APPRECIATED AS

192

A NATION.
>: SHE SOUNDS LIKE A MONSTER.

193

>: SHE SAID THAT IT WAS THE GAY
PROPAGANDA FOR THE PARADE

194

THAT IRRITATED AND AGITATED HER.
THEN SHE SAID, YOU'RE

195

INVITED TO A DUEL AND THEN
YOU'RE SURPRISED BY THE

196

NEGATIVE REACTION?
>: WHO HAD STARTED A DUEL?

197

OPERA TERMS. I JUST LOVE
THAT SHE THINKS LIKE THAT.

198

GAY PROPAGANDA--
>: OUR GAY PRIDE PARADE WILL TAKE

199

40 PACES DOWN THIS WAY.
>: EXACTLY.

200

>: YOUR ANTI-GAY PRIDE PARADE
WILL GO 40 PACES THIS WAY.

201

WE'LL TURN AROUND, THEN WE'LL
RUN TOWARDS EACH OTHER AND

202

SEE WHAT HAPPENS. IT'S A GENTLEMAN'S DUEL.
>: AND IT

203

MAKES ME LAUGH THAT AFTER
THE PUBLICATION OF MY

204

STATUS ON FACEBOOK THEY STARTED TRANSLATING AND SENDING

205

IT TO SOME EUROPEAN THEATERS.
THEY SAY, HURRY UP, TAMARA'S A

206

HOMOPHOBE. BLOCK HER AS A SINGER.
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT

207

HAPPENED. SHE WAS BASICALLY
BLOCKED FROM A PARIS OPERA

208

HOUSE WHERE SHE WAS SUPPOSED
TO SING, I DON'T KNOW, SOME

209

TCHAIKOVSKY OPERA. TCHAIKOVSKY AS
EVERYONE KNOWS

210

WAS GAY, SO EVERYONE WAS LIKE, NO.
YOU'RE NOT SINGING

211

THIS MAN'S WORDS. THAT'S INSANE.
YOU'RE NOT DOING THIS.

212

SO, OPERA AUSTRALIA, SAID BYE.
>: G'DAY MATE.

213

>: YES.
>: SADDLE UP THAT SHRIMP
BITCH, AND GET ON

214

THAT BARBIE BECAUSE WE'RE DONE.
>: THIS IS A KNIFE.

215

YEAH. ABSOLUTELY. AND SO,
SHE HAS DENIED RESPONSIBILITY

216

FOR THIS FACEBOOK MESSAGE.
SHE SAID SHE WAS SHOCKED

217

AND SADDEN TO BE CALLED HOMOPHOBIC.
>: OH, I COULD

218

SEE HOW SHE COULD BE SHOCKED,
CALLING GAY PEOPLE WALKING--

219

I CALLED GAY PEOPLE WALKING
PIECES OF SHIT, BUT THAT

220

DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T LOVE THEM.
SO SHE SAID THAT THIS

221

FACEBOOK POST WAS WRITTEN
BY HER HUSBAND WHO SAYS--

222

>: HATAN?
>: --HAS A TOUGH ATTITUDE TOWARDS GAY PEOPLE.

223

>: WRONG ATTITUDE. IF YOU'RE NOT A HOMOPHOBE YOU SHOULD

224

ABSOLUTELY BE ABLE TO RECOGNIZE IT AS A WRONG ATTITUDE.

225

>: EXACTLY. AND SO REALLY LIKE,
THANKS FOR THE APOLOGY,

226

THE PROBLEM IS THAT I BELIEVE
IN OTHER INTERVIEWS,

227

AND STUFF LIKE THAT SHE HAS
ALSO STATED BONKER SHIT ABOUT

228

GAY PEOPLE.
>: SHE'S ON PILLS.

229

>: AND ALSO I DON'T SEE HOW
YOU COULD BE MARRIED TO SOMEONE WHO

230

REALLY HATES GAY PEOPLE THAT
MUCH, AND WOULD SPOUT THAT

231

KIND OF THING, AND THAT YOU
COULD REALLY TOLERATE IT,

232

BECAUSE THAT OBVIOUSLY JUST
MEANS SHE'S A HATEFUL

233

PERSON IN MANY ARENAS.
SO OPERA AUSTRALIA SAID ABSOLUTELY

234

NOT AND THIS IS WHAT THEY SAID
ON THEIR FACEBOOK PAGE,

235

OPERA AUSTRALIA HAS REACHED
AN AGREEMENT WITH MRS. IVERI

236

TO IMMEDIATELY RELEASE HER
FROM HER CONTRACT WITH

237

THE COMPANY. SHE'S UNRESERVEDLY
APOLOGIZED FOR

238

HER COMMENTS AND VIEWS.
OPEN AUSTRALIA BELIEVES THE

239

VIEWS AS STATED TO BE
UNCONSCIONABLE. AND SHE

240

SAID, THAT SHE CHOSE TO
RESIGN FROM THE PLAY--

241

>: LIE.
>: OUT OF CONSIDERATION FOR THE

242

TRANQUILITY OF MY COLLEAGUES.

243

>: NO.
>: (laughs) ISN'T THAT PRETTY?

244

>: THAT'S SO PRETTY.
>: YEAH. YOU CANNOT BE

245

AN ARTIST, AND BE A HOMOPHOBE.
THE END.

246

YOU CANNOT BE AN ARTIST AND
BE A HOMOPHOBE, BECAUSE

247

TO BE AN ARTIST BASICALLY,
YOU HAVE TO HAVE AT SOME POINT IN

248

YOUR LIFE LIVED--
>: SUCKED A DICK?

249

>: --ON THE OUTSIDE.
>: OH...

250

>: RIGHT.

251

252

>: THEY'RE HERE. >: (sigh) HI.

253

(laughs)

254

SUCH A HUGE BUILD UP, AND
THEN I LET IT ALL DOWN.

255

>: HI.
>: OK, FIRST OF ALL, ARE YOU OK?

256

>: I'M OK.
>: YOUR SHOE BROKE.

257

>: YES, I FELL DOWN OUTSIDE
ALL THE WAY DOWN.

258

>: WHAT'S INTERESTING ABOUT
WHEN YOU WENT DOWN IS, I WAS

259

JUST LIKE OH, NO. IT WAS SLOW,
BECAUSE SHE HIT HER

260

KNEES, AND THEN SHE HIT HER BODY.
>: YEAH, I WENT ALL THE WAY DOWN.

261

>: DID YOU JUST LIKE
COLLAPSE, WAS IT LIKE--

262

>: I FELT IT GOING, AND I
THOUGHT LET THE WAVE

263

TAKE YOU.
>: YEAH.

264

>: OR YOU'LL GET MORE HURT.
>: OH LIKE GREENER

265

RIPTIDE. LET IT TAKE YOU.
>: YEAH, EXACTLY.

266

>: YEAH. YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?
>: NO.

267

>: IF YOU GET CAUGHT IN
A RIPTIDE YOU GO WITH IT OR--

268

>: YOU HAVE TO LET IT TAKE YOU.
>: BECAUSE IF YOU

269

FIGHT YOU'LL GET EXHAUSTED?

270

>: SIMILAR... NO, YOU'LL DIE. >: YOU'LL JUST DIE.

271

>: YOU JUST DIE. >: IT STRANGLES YOU?

272

>: YOU FLOAT.
>: I THINK LIKE YOU'LL DIE.

273

>: IT'S THE SAME THEORY AS IF YOU'RE DRIVING--
>: RIGHT.

274

>: YOU'LL SEE A MOOSE OR A DEER,
YOU HAVE TO GO RIGHT

275

THROUGH IT.
>: YOU PLOW RIGHT THROUGH IT.

276

>: THE WAY YOU DIE FROM
HITTING A DEER IS THAT YOU

277

SWERVE, EVERYTHING FREAKS OUT,
BUT IF YOU PLOW RIGHT

278

THROUGH IT... RACHEL DID IT.

279

>: YOU DID? WHAT DID YOU MURDER?
>: (BRYAN): YOU DID THAT
ON PURPOSE RIGHT?

280

>: PLOWED RIGHT THROUGH
A DEER, YEAH.

281

>: IF YOU WERE A BANGER SISTER,
WHICH ONE WOULD YOU BE? GOLDIE HAWN--

282

>: GOLDIE HAWN.
>: GONE.

283

>: OH, YEAH.
>: WELL WHO WANTS TO BE NOT GOLDIE HAWN?

284

I'M NOT SAYING ANYBODY ELSE.
>: THAT'S A FAIR POINT.

285

>: HAVE YOU SEEN BIG BUSINESS?

286

>: YEAH.
>: NO.

287

>: YES, YOU HAVE.
>: RACHEL'S OLDER.

288

RACHEL'S A LOT OLDER.

289

>: RACHEL...
>: FOR LIKE 10S AND 20S OF YEARS?

290

>: RACHEL'S ON THE WRONG SIDE OF 30.
>: I'M JUST 2

291

AND A HALF YEARS OLDER.
JACK IS ALSO ON THE WRONG SIDE

292

OF 30.
>: NO, I'M 30.

293

>: RIGHT.
>: WHICH MEANS YOU'RE IN YOUR 30S NOW.

294

>: YEAH.
>: YEAH.

295

>: HAVE YOU EVER SEEN 30 FOR 30?
>: I LOVE 30 FOR 30

296

PARTICULARLY THE TONYA
HARDING ONE.

297

>: WHAT WAS IT A SHOT AT GOLD?
>: YOU BASICALLY

298

JUST TOLD HIM THAT
YOU LOVE HIM.

299

(interposing chat)

300

>: I REALLY BELIEVE THAT IT WAS,
WHAT WAS HIS NAME LIKE JEFF (inaudible)

301

HER EX-HUSBAND--
>: YES.

302

>: THAT HIS NAME?
>: YEAH.

303

I REALLY THINK THAT IT WAS ALL HIM.
I REALLY DON'T THINK SHE KNEW ABOUT IT.

304

NANCY KERRIGAN, MORE
IMPORTANTLY I NEVER KNEW

305

HOW JUNKY SHE WAS--
>: JUNK CITY.

306

(interposing chat)

307

>: BECAUSE THE MEDIA PLAYED
HER UP AS LIKE THIS LIKE

308

RICH SORT OF UM, PRINCESS
KIND OF A PERSON, AND SHE'S

309

NOT AT ALL.
>: YEAH. SHE'S RUDE.

310

>: HOW SO?
>: WELL SHE BARELY WOULD SHAKE TONYA

311

HARDING'S HAND--
>: SHE TREATED TONYA HARDING LIKE

312

A PIECE OF TRASH.
>: SHE DID.

313

WELL DIDN'T TONYA HARDING
ATTEMPT TO HARM HER PHYSICALLY?

314

>: BEFORE THIS, BEFORE THIS.
>: OOH.

315

>: TONYA HARDING'S HUSBAND
HARMED HER PHYSICALLY.

316

>: RIGHT, RIGHT.
>: HAVE YOU SEEN STEPMOM, WITH JULIA ROBERTS--

317

>: YES.
>: YOU HAVE?

318

>: OF COURSE.
>: SO WERE YOU JULIA ROBERTS OR SUSAN

319

SARANDON?
>: WE'RE BOTH JULIA ROBERTS BECAUSE

320

WE'RE NOT DYING.
>: OH, THAT'S A GOOD POINT.

321

CAN I DO A FASHION GAME WITH YOU?
REALLY QUICKLY, BECAUSE

322

WE HAVEN'T MENTIONED THAT
YOU HAVE SHADE ON FASHION.

323

>: (laughs)
>: VERY DIFFICULT INDUSTRY, WHICH

324

YOU'VE SUCCEEDED IN. NOW,
HERE'S THE THING I HAVE SOME

325

FASHIONS THAT HAVE BEEN IN
MY CLOSET. CAN YOU TELL ME

326

IF I SHOULD THROW THEM AWAY?
OK, THIS WILL BE RAPID FIRE.

327

READY?
>: YES.

328

>: THIS IS A BATHING SUIT THAT I GOT FOR FREE FROM

329

VOLCOM.
>: RIGHT, BUT IT'S TOO...

330

IT DOESN'T ACTUALLY COVER
MY ENTIRE VAGINA.
>: SO IT DOESN'T--

331

>: YEAH, DEFINITELY KEEP IT.

332

>: I GOT THIS IN TEXAS--
>: KEEP IT, KEEP IT.

333

>: FROM LORD AND TAYLOR FROM THE 60S--
>: KEEP IT.

334

>: THIS IS ACTUALLY BRYAN'S.
>: JACK'S GOING TO WANT THAT.

335

>: OH YEAH.
>: MY GRANDDAUGHTER IS THE BEST

336

GIFT EVER.
>: FOR CHRISTMAS.

337

>: I'LL TAKE IT.
>: OH, DO YOU WANT THIS?

338

>: IT HAS THE BEST EMOJI EVER.
>: YEAH. OH IT IS.

339

>: IT'S CLIP ART (laughs).
TOTALLY THE FIRST EMOJI.

340

>: SHOULD WE PLAY SHADE OR NO SHADE?
>: REAL QUICK.

341

>: OK, SHADE OR NO SHADE. WORLD CUP.
>: SHADE.

342

>: SHADE.
>: YEAH, ME TOO.

343

>: BANDANAS?
>: SHADE.

344

>: LED LIGHTS.
>: SHADE.

345

>: STANDING IN LINE FOR
THE RAIN ROOM AT LOMA?

346

>: SHADE.
>: SHADE.

347

>: (inaudible) OR ICE CREAM SANDWICHES?

348

>: NO SHADE OBVIOUSLY.
>: THAT'S IT.

349

>: SO YOU GUYS WON.
>: THANK YOU SO MUCH, AND

350

YOU'RE GOING TO DO A SONG FOR US.
>: YEAH, CAN WE

351

GIVE YOU GUYS A SHADE OR NO SHADE?
>: YEAH.

352

>: OK, OK.
>: ROSE POSIES.

353

>: NO SHADE.
VAYDIK?

354

>: SHADE.
>: TIGHT PUSSIES?

355

>: NO SHADE.
>: PARTICLES

356

>: SHADE.
>: NO SHADE.

357

>: PARTICLES? IT IS FUNNY, YOU SAY SHIT.

358

>: YEAH IT'S GREAT.
>: HAVE YOU BEEN SHADED BEFORE?

359

>: NEVER. THIS IS THE FIRST TIME--
>: NEVER.

360

>: --THE TABLES HAVE BEEN TURNED.
>: BEING SHADED?

361

>: NO SHADE.
>: NO SHADE.

362

>: SHADE.
>: SHADE.

363

>: NO SHADE.
>: NO SHADE.

364

>: THIS IS SO META.
>: SHADE.

365

>: SHADE.
>: SADE

366

>: NO SHADE.

367

(laughs)

368

(acoustic guitar plays)

369

hey, I hear the voice of a
preacher from the back room

370

calling my name and I
follow just to find you

371

I trace the faith to a broken
down television

372

and put on the weather

373

and I've trained myself to
give up on the past

374

'cause I frozen time
between hearses and caskets

375

lost control and I panicked
at the acid test

376

I wanna get better

377

while my friends were getting
high and chasing girls

378

down parkway lines

379

I was losing my mind

380

'cause the love, the love,
the love, the love, the love

381

that I gave

382

wasted on a nice face

383

in a blaze of fear I put a
helmet on a helmet

384

counting seconds through the
night and got carried away

385

that's why I'm standing on
the overpass screaming at myself,

386

hey, I wanna get...

387

I didn't know i was lonely
'til I saw your face

388

I wanna get better, better,
better, better,

389

I wanna get...

390

I didn't know I was broken
'til I wanted to change

391

I wanna get better, better,
better, better,

392

I wanna get...

393

up to my room and there's
girls on the ceiling

394

cut out their pictures and
I chase that feeling

395

of an eighteen year old who
didn't know what loss was

396

now I'm a stranger

397

and I'll miss the days
of a life still permanent

398

mourn the years before
I got carried away

399

that's why I'm standing
on the interstate

400

screaming at myself,

401

hey, I wanna get...

402

I didn't know I was lonely
'til I saw your face

403

I wanna get better, better,
better, better,

404

I wanna get...

405

I didn't know I was broken
'til I wanted to change

406

I wanna get better,
better, better, better,

407

I wanna get...

408

better, 'cause I'm sleeping
in the back of a taxi

409

I'm screaming from
my bedroom window

410

even if its gonna kill me

411

woke up this morning
early before my family

412

from this dream
where she

413

was trying to show me

414

how a life can move
from the darkness

415

and she said to get better

416

and so I put a bullet where
I should'a put a helmet

417

and I crash my car 'cause
I wanna get carried away

418

that's why I'm standing on
the overpass screaming at myself

419

hey, I wanna get...

420

I didn't know I was
lonely 'til I saw your face

421

I wanna get better,
better, better, better,

422

I wanna get...

423

I didn't know I was
broken 'til I wanted to change

424

I wanna get better,
better, better, better,

425

I wanna get better

426

(acoustic guitar
play continues)

427

428

(studio cheers)

429

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