Megan Fox as Herself Brian Austin Green as Himself Geoff Stults as Jack Slater Principal: Principal Donald S. Wilson The Entire Wonderland Avenue Elementary 5th Grade Featuring: Lily Massee, David Berger, Eli Harris, Ayesha Kazim, Sofia Montrone, Lucien Meschin Katia Vogt, Zofia Milito, Yu-Jin Kim, Chiara Berruto, Hyon Joon Kim, Daniel Delaveauz, Sophie Lachman, Manolo Evans, Daniel Gliksman, Louk Goldberg and Aires McLaughlin Credits: Director: Eric Appel Writers: John Koch & Ari Posner Producers: Chris Bruss, Corey Sklov, John Koch, Stacey Attanasio-Gonsalves Executive Producer: Mike Farah First AD: Cory Johnson DP: Christian Sprenger AC: Alyssa ? Gaffer: Cody Jacobs G/E: Hillary Hanak G/E: Jake Beamer G/E: Graham Mason Art Dept: Jessica Valentine Sound: Botown Sound Make-up: Heather Mary Ford Megan Fox Hair: Renato Campora Megan Fox M/U: Mai Quyhn PA: Nic Scofield Craft Services: The Village Idiot, The Bagel Broker Wonderland Avenue PTA President: Teri Levy Wonderland Parent and Teacher Volunteers: Jim Anderson, Jeremy Alpert, Price Arana, Tomas Arana, Lauren Baker, Mimi Bonetti, Brian Boone, Shannon Brier, Elizabeth Carney, Julie Cintron, Elizabeth Cronin, Kristin Ellingson, Robert Gonsalves Stacey Attanasio-Gonsalves, Michael Hancock, Myrtle Keefe, John Koch, Marci Koch, Teri Levy, Steve Levy, Karla Lopez, Kathryn Manheimer, Nick Murray, Aham Nwede, Michael Piccirilli, Molly Piccirilli, Ari Posner, Jill Arthur-Posner, Carolyn Prousky, Steve Song, and Donald S. Wilson Special Thanks: Lindsay Kennedy and everyone at The Village Idiot, the amazing Joyce Brown, ID Public Relations, Chuck James, Megan Moss Pachon, Bryna Rifkin, Kelly Bush, Natalie Lent, Andrea Lamelas, Los Angeles Unified School District, Steve Levy at everyone at Hype Circle, Jason Tarnol of The Bagel Broker and the staff and students at Wonderland Avenue Elementary.
Male Voice: (whispers) Exclusive.
(several people are talking)
Donald S. Wilson: Shh. Shh!
Donald S. Wilson: Please, everyone, Please.
I know you're really upset
Donald S. Wilson: about these budget cuts.
Angry Parents: Yeah!
Megan Fox: Hey, where
Brian Austin Green: I'm sorry. I know.
I'm still stuck here.
Brian Austin Green: People are freaking out
about these budget cuts.
Brian Austin Green: It's like Attica
Megan Fox: Okay, well, can you hurry,
'cause there's these guys out
Megan Fox: here that are being just a
little bit creepy.
Megan Fox: I just want to get out of here before
they ask me to sign their
Megan Fox: Transformers DVDs.
Brian Austin Green: Well, just hide out
in the library.
Brian Austin Green: I'll find you when
I'm done here, okay?
Megan Fox: Okay.
Girl Student: Are you our
Megan Fox: Oh no, I'm sorry. I just
thought this was the library.
Megan Fox: Wait, you guys don't
have a teacher?
Girl Student: She was laid off.
Girl Student: Then they combined our
class with another
Girl Student: teacher's class.
Girl Student: The kids in this room are
multiplying faster than my
Girl Student: head lice.
Megan Fox: What did she
Girl Student: I don't know. Our Korean
teaching assistant was
Girl Student: laid off too.
Geoff Stults: Alright, coming through.
Coming through. Hi there,
Geoff Stults: I'm Jack Slater from
Governor Schwarzenegger's office.
Geoff Stults: Are you the
Megan Fox: No, no, I'm just waiting
for my boyfriend.
Geoff Stults: Well, you're their
teacher now. Congrats.
Geoff Stults: Got two more kids
for your class
Megan Fox: Wait, no, no, there's no
more room in here.
Geoff Stults: Good work.
Geoff Stults: You know, when Governor
Schwarzenegger was a boy,
Geoff Stults: growing up in war-torn
Austria, he didn't have a
Geoff Stults: desk either. He went on to
win the Mr. Olympia title
Geoff Stults: eight times. Think
Megan Fox: Do they treat you like
this every day?
Girl Student: Is it a wonder that so
many of us end up in prison?
Garbage Monitor: You guys got any
trash for me?
Boy Student: No, but Todd threw-up
in the corner.
Garbage Monitor: (sigh) I'll get the
Megan Fox: What? You guys don't have
a janitor to do that?
Geoff Stults: The janitorial staff was
let go with this last
Geoff Stults: budget cut, but let's not
forget that, when Governor
Geoff Stults: Schwarzenegger was a boy,
he used to collect all the
Geoff Stults: trash in his
Geoff Stults: and burn it to keep his
family warm during the
Geoff Stults: cold Austrian winters.
Megan Fox: That is a made
Brian Austin Green: Well, good news, they
didn't cut the lunch program.
Megan Fox: Well, that's
Brian Austin Green: This is the new
Geoff Stults: Alright, we got one
more for you.
Geoff Stults: Whew, got a hot
Megan Fox: No. No. You can't leave him with us.
Megan Fox: Look at him, he
Megan Fox: Take him to
Girl Student: Nurse? The nurse was let
go at the end of last year.
Megan Fox: There's all these kids
and no nurse?
Geoff Stults: Back in the early 90's,
Geoff Stults: cut a microchip out of the
back of his own head, with
Geoff Stults: no anesthesia.
Brian Austin Green: Dude, that was the
Geoff Stults: I don't know what
Megan Fox: No, hey, stop. I think
this kid is a diabetic.
Brian Austin Green: Oh, give him
the candy bar.
Megan Fox: Here, eat this,
Sick Boy: Can you sign this
Transformers DVD for my dad?
Megan Fox: No.
Brian Austin Green: Millions of students in
California, including my son,
Brian Austin Green: are under attack from the
terminators in Sacramento
Brian Austin Green: who plan to cut 2.5
billion dollars from our schools.
Megan Fox: 17 billion dollars has already
been slashed from
Megan Fox: education programs over
the past two years.
Brian Austin Green: Time is running out.
,000 California teachers
Brian Austin Green: have already been
Megan Fox: So make your voice heard.
Call, write and annoy the
Megan Fox: governor until he cries
for his mommy.
Brian Austin Green: It's the only way to
protect our kids and our future.