I’m lizzy the lezzy, it’s muff that I munch

I’m lizzy the lezzy, I like it for lunch

I’m lizzy the lezzy, I like women’s bits

I’m lizzy the lezzy, I’ll play with your tits

Hello muff munchers

I know I complain a lot but I do like being a lesbian really. There is another thing that bugs me though…Why do straight girls always think you fancy them? One of  my best friends is a straight girl. She’s convinced I want to lick her pussy. She told me she’s scared that I’ll suddenly grab her tits or something. Tut. Silly.

However, last week she finally slept with a woman. There was a guy there too of course. and then she told me that all she could think about at the time, was how she was going tell me that she’d actually done it. You’re licking some girl’s pussy and all you can think about is me?!   Who fancies who here?

Now she says she's not homophobic any more and so she’s started kissing me on the mouth. Bla! I don’t wanna kiss her on the mouth! Who knows where her mouth has been?!

The truth is though, I did break the number one lesbian rule, and I fell in love with a straight girl once. It was a while ago now, but I still remember her lovely breasts. Ahhh.  I fantasised about her for months. She never knew of course. So beware, straight girls, because you never really know when some dirty lezzy is checking out your tits!