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I sure folks is gone come at me far diss wun, so lemme half it haters! I dont back... more »
Published April 02, 2014 47 views More Info »
Hey!
Tonight y'all comin' onto a real
controversial How I Seize It!
I'm Loretta Jenkins
and I fuckin' love homosexuals.
So you can just imagine
what I think of these po' dunk,
retard Duck Dynasty motherfuckers!
Yeah, you think I'm gonna
take up for ALL rednecks?
You got another thing comin'.
Don't nobody mess with my faggots,
ya hear?
Now I'm gonna admit right now,
I don't watch this dumb piece of shit show.
Cause…it's a dumb piece of shit.
And moreforth,
they viewers is dumb pieces of shit, too.
All 10 million of 'em!
Who the fuck done care
about some dumb idiot family
that made a duck call
that make ducks think
you wanna fuck 'em.
That right there, that's bestialigy,
so don't y'all be judgin'.
Don't you be judgin' nobody.
It ain't like you cured Hep C
or something important.
They oughta call this show Suck Dynasty.
For obvious reasons…it sucks.
Hey, you dumbasses out there
that still thinks you "Standin' With Phil"
cause this is America?
Their fearless leader said that
queers was goin' to hell
and that blacks was happier back
when they was pickin' cotton
out in the fields.
Well you know what, Asswipe?
You got 1st Amendment rights
to say what you want.
But tough shit if people get pissed at you.
Cause reactions has equal and opposite,
open and even angles…
And that is covered by 1st Amendments too!
Duh!
Free speech work both ways,
you dirty Gandalf-lookin' motherfucker!
How come none of these digits
never have a huntin' accident
like Dick Cheyney or that Crocodile man done.
Every one of the men on this show
got Rip Van Winkle pussies
hangin' off they face.
How in the hell do y'all let
that get anywhere near your clitoris?
Ugh…eww...
That is way beyond my comprehension.
I don't had scabies once
and I don't want that again.
Especially from Sy,
he look like he got every STD
known to man.
He must be spendin' his mills
on dirty girls and meth.
So this idgit open his racist mouth
and suddenly Twitter is aflitter.
Hell, I didn't even think Republicans
knew what a Tweeters was!
Purtnear half of them don't even
have indoor plumbing.
So the network said
"Well we ain't havin' that old man
on the show no more."
And the family's bitchin' and moanin'…
Ca-ching, ca-ching!
Of course, the almighty dollar wins!
And the shitshow gets another green light.
Can you believe that shit?
Oh but they's a bright spot.
They lost about half they audience.
Cause folks is wisin' up
and don't wanna support
they hatred and ignorance.
They should be watchin' my show instead,
I mean, at least I learn ya somethin'.
People ask how they get such purty wives.
Well duh!
Whores Love Money!
So they grandaddy wizard, you know…
He also said that girls
ought to be knocked up and pregnant
by the time they 16.
So basically, he's all good with child molestin'.
He needs an anklet.
But you redneck myna birds
just wanna run off to Walmart,
get you some Duck Dynasty paraphernalia
so you can stuff more money
in these morons pockets.
If y'all do that, y'all can just go to hell.
You ain't no friend of mine, hound dogs.
I love how people come to this show's defense,
like it's even real.
Don't y'all know you been duped?
These fuckaducks ain't rednecks!
They goddamn country club hippies..
I mean yuppies!
Yippies!
They grew out them beards and mustaches
and all that scraggly shit,
just to fit the brand of the show.
I seem pictures.
They in cahoots with the WalMart family
to take all your money
and to keep you stoop
AND IT'S WORKIN'!
Shit, you think you got such a tight knit family?
Yours ain't shit.
Gays has been better family to me
than your traditional inbred bullshit.
I tell y'all what.
If they is a God…
He ain't gonna want assholes
like this duck fucker speakin' for him.
And if they goin' to heaven,
send me straight to hell,
cause I don't wanna be spendin' eternity
anywhere near this
mysogynistic, prejudice,
inbred, idiot, idgit, imbicile
tiny duck-dicked sumbitch!
And that's How I Seize It.
(gunshot)
Word to your mutha!
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