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Man Im so durn tard uv herein now hard it be to have a celebridee life. How cum all... more »
Published October 14, 2013 75 views More Info »
Hey!
This here's Loretta Jenkins
and I don't usually do too many HISIs
centered around the world's
most ignorant assholes,
but goddamn!
The world's Cup-O-Cunts
seem to be running over
the brim with them.
So I think before she end up dead,
we should have a go at this
snick-rickin bitch, Amanda Bynes.
Let's take a moment of silence-
Okay, that was enough!
Just in case this celebutard end up dead
before I get this sumbitch uploaded.
First of all,
I know most of y'all
ain't got your finger
on the pulse of pop culture like I do-
Cause I got over 100 Tweeter followers.
I don't know if y'all hoity bitches noticed that,
but that is an important fact
in pop culture.
But this Amanda Bynes,
she all bogarting all the Twitter followers!
She got like over 3 million followers
and she don't never say nothin'
revelational or even remotely witty!
She just keep talking about
how she want Drake
to put his dick in her.
Nasty fuckers…
Anyway, I know most of y'all out there goin,
"Who the fuck is Amanda Bynes?"
Hey!
I bet she that extra Lindsay Lohan twin
from that Parent Tramp movie!
Cept, she lost her accent
and got hella tubbo, you know?
But, since Linsday got all they money
in they sister divorce,
she can't afford the good plastic surgery.
Now she look like one of them
Barbie doll knock-offs.
You know, them ones what you can buy
at the Family Dollar.
You know,
them ones with the big-ass heads
and the tiny little bodies.
But this one's real life one
must've had the same
personal trainer as that fat Kardashian,
cause, "Mooooooooo!"
She be a big girl, y'all.
Hey, how come all these Disney Princesses
end up all nasty
and on drugs
with that Miley Cyrus
hatchet-job hairdo?
Shave?
Oh, it is SO hard being a celebrity
and having your easy life
and getting all your bills paid…
Oh God, that's plum awful!
I would say that heifer was on the meth,
but you gotta be skinny
for that to be true!
(laughs)
I heard she was in that Hairspray movie,
but I didn't see her.
Is the the one that play Tracy momma?
Cause she do look like a tranny-dude.
Hey, do y'all hear she toss
a bong out of her window?
Well shit.
I kinda wish that thing would've
hit somebody baby,
cause then we'd sue he
and be done with her ass already.
Then I would get my place
at the table!
What sense does it make
to get charged with paraphernalia...
or attempted murder?
This is what happens
when child stars get home schooled.
Hey one time me and this fuckbud
was goin to New Orleans
and so I squashed up about
a half a pound of ganja
in a rubber and tied it off
with some dental floss
and I told him,
"Hey. Stick this up in me."
Well the lights went out in the traile
and he thrower it up in my shitte
and I get stuck on a 4-hour flight
with an ass full of weed.
Shit!
You know what I think she needs
if somebody just go up
and whoop her ass!
I'll volunteer for that job.
Hell yeah!
Thank God her momma in charge.
I wouldn't give my momma no money.
She a money-grubbin',
cunt-lovin' whore.
You know now that I think on it,
it's a good idea for the Hollywood elites
to get their plastic surgery done first
cause then we know who NOT
to go get your face
all nipped and tucked at!
Shit,
she look like she related to Joan Rivers now.
What happened to that monkey-faced bitch?
Hey, I think by now Joan Rivers' face
pretty much 80% assfat.
(laughs)
Oooh! I'm gonna call her assface
from now on.
Fuck, that bitch is creepy.
She look like a doll covered up with ass skin.
I figured I better go on
and exploit this bitch now.
I mean who the fuck is even gonna know
who she is a year from now,
I mean really.
She might as well just go ahead and
jump off a plane,
highjack a ferris wheel,
or kidnap one of those Brangelina youngins!
Maybe then she could stay relevant,
with something news worthy like that.
Oooh, I know what she need.
I think Brangelina need to adopt her.
She need a mother figure,
or she need to be in a halfway house,
or a Little Sister club or something.
Bless her 'tarded heart.
Do they still do Jerry Kids?
They might could help her out.
What the fuck am I saying?
Just let the bitch meltdown.
Cause as soon as some of them fame-hungry,
attention whores just go ahead and OD,
or drive off a cliff,
or fade from the headlines,
there's gonna be more room
for THIS famous bitch,
am I right?
Yeah!
That's How I Seize It!
Yeah!
Klankety-klank. Nuckle nocks.
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