Starring: Jon Daly, Nick Kroll Featuring: Katie Flynn, Theresa Galarza, Eileen Hsi, Jeremy Konner Written by: Jon Daly, Nick Kroll Directed by: Jonathan Krisel Cinematography: Rachel Morrison Location manager: Kelly Gould Art Direction: Keren Kohen Edited by: Jonathan Krisel Thanks to: Eileen Walls
Jon Daly: Wendy, where's my Blacks On Blondes Volume Seven DVD?
Nick Kroll: I don't know.
Jon Daly: I wanna tug out some yogurt.
Nick Kroll: Fu*k yeah!
Jon Daly: Dude, where is the Blacks On Blondes Volume Seven?
Nick Kroll: [Coughing]
Jon Daly: Where is my Blacks On Blondes Volume Seven, Wendy?! Ugh! Child!
Jon Daly: Call Eric Stoltz.
Cell Phone Voice: Calling Eric Roberts.
Jon Daly: I can't talk to Eric Roberts right now. Consuela! La La?
Jon Daly: Where is the Blacks On Blondes Volume Seven, Wendy?!
Nick Kroll: Fu*k you, Aspen! I just fu**ing died!
Jon Daly: No, you didn't! Thanks to 'Suela.
Nick Kroll: Love you, 'Suela.
Jon Daly: 'Suela you're so beautiful. I wanna marry you.
Nick Kroll: Do you wanna blow a line?
Jon Daly: Do you wanna do a line of coke with us? You'd be so far if you did some coke.
Jon Daly: Oh, it's fu**ing Eric Roberts. Hold on. Fine, you can come over. Nolte cannot come!
Nick Kroll: I really need to go to the bathroom.
Nick Kroll: Like, it's complicated. I got my sister pregnant when I was fifteen, so, like...
Jon Daly: So, I was like, fu*k you, my film won the judge's award at my mom's film festival. Yeah, do you guys wanna go chief some out?
Nick Kroll: We didn't like, invent mash-ups, but we pioneered them with some other artists. So. Oh my God thank you sweetie, I love you! I love her. She's been with us our whole lives.
Party Girls: Oh my God. Where is she from?
Nick Kroll: I have no idea.
Jon Daly: We met originally in St. Tropez and then we all hooked up when we were in Cabo, but none of us actually hung out until we were in Zurich, I think we were, right? Yeah, it was a super cold hotel and I think they said that because it was supposed to keep us younger, and we were like fu*k you, let's just luge.
Nick Kroll: [Laughing] Now you're all wet you dumb idiot.
Jon Daly: Dude, my phone! This had the architect in Madrid's number in it!
Nick Kroll: Dude, just borrow my phone.
Jon Daly: Fine.
Nick Kroll: Whatever. My sh*t's all backed up, bro.
Nick Kroll: Go dry off Michael Phelps, you swimmer. [Laughing] I just rocked the party. Put on some fu**ing real jams, bro!
Jon Daly: Hey, Wendy, looks like you won't be able to watch your fu**ing movies anymore.
Nick Kroll: Don't even fu**ing do that!
Nick Kroll: No! You fu**ing piece of garbage!
Jon Daly: That was hilarious.
Nick Kroll: Bygones?
Jon Daly: Bygones.
Jon Daly: Chief it out, guys.
Nick Kroll: Let's start the fu**ing party back on.
Nick Kroll: So, I was like I'm from New York and you're from sh*t town in Connecticut. My fu**ing father could buy and sell you. And then I slid down his fu**ing waterslide.
Jon Daly: I know it's like sh*tty and gauche to talk about class, but A, it's true and B...
Nick Kroll: And B, exactly. So, what's your deal?
Girl At Club: Last year I started a yoga studio.
Jon Daly: What?
Girl At Club: I was just saying that last year I started a yoga studio.
Nick Kroll: What are you talking about?
Girl At Club: I started a yoga studio last year. It was this little place in Venice that I ended up buying...
Jon Daly: Wendy! Is she still talking?! Wendy!
Girl At Club: You guys are fu**ing disgusting! Nobody even likes you! Everyone thinks you're fu**ing gay, you know that? Everyone thinks you're gay, and only hang out with you because you're rich.
Jon Daly: Hey. Do you wanna go powder your nose?
Nick Kroll: Do you want to go use the bathroom?
Jon Daly: Wendy, we have to go.
Nick Kroll: Shut up. Do we have everything? We have Kanye tickets?
Jon Daly: Yeah.
Nick Kroll: Backstage laminates?
Jon Daly: Yeah.
Nick Kroll: Shanif?
Jon Daly: Uh-huh.
Nick Kroll: Oxy?
Jon Daly: Of course.
Nick Kroll: Taser?
Jon Daly: Mm-hmm.
Nick Kroll: Breathalyzer?
Jon Daly: Yup.
Nick Kroll: Blanket?
Jon Daly: Yeah.
Nick Kroll: I feel like we're forgetting something.
Jon Daly: No, we're good.
Nick Kroll: All right.
Jon Daly: I hope this is like, a white person concert, and not like a black Kanye.