These two guys are rich, on the prowl and ready to party at a moments notice. They're also dicks.
Published August 06, 2009 350k views More Info ยป
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Starring: Jon Daly, Nick Kroll
Featuring: Katie Flynn, Theresa Galarza, Eileen Hsi, Jeremy Konner
Written by: Jon Daly, Nick Kroll
Directed by: Jonathan Krisel
Cinematography: Rachel Morrison
Location manager: Kelly Gould
Art Direction: Keren Kohen
Edited by: Jonathan Krisel
Thanks to: Eileen Walls
13,006 Funny Votes
3,598 Die Votes
Published August 06, 2009

[Music Playing]

Nick Kroll: Excuse me! Hot tower.

Eileen Hsi: Do you mean hot towel?

Jon Daly: Domo.

Nick Kroll: This place rocks.

Jon Daly: Mustafa.

[Music Playing]

Jon Daly: Wendy, where's my Blacks On Blondes Volume Seven DVD?

Nick Kroll: I don't know.

Jon Daly: I wanna tug out some yogurt.

Nick Kroll: Fu*k yeah!

Jon Daly: Dude, where is the Blacks On Blondes Volume Seven?

Nick Kroll: [Coughing]

Jon Daly: Where is my Blacks On Blondes Volume Seven, Wendy?! Ugh! Child!

[TV Playing]

Jon Daly: Call Eric Stoltz.

Cell Phone Voice: Calling Eric Roberts.

Jon Daly: I can't talk to Eric Roberts right now. Consuela! La La?

Jon Daly: Where is the Blacks On Blondes Volume Seven, Wendy?!

Nick Kroll: Fu*k you, Aspen! I just fu**ing died!

Jon Daly: No, you didn't! Thanks to 'Suela.

Nick Kroll: Love you, 'Suela.

Jon Daly: 'Suela you're so beautiful. I wanna marry you.

Nick Kroll: Do you wanna blow a line?

Jon Daly: Do you wanna do a line of coke with us? You'd be so far if you did some coke.

[Phone Rings]

Jon Daly: Oh, it's fu**ing Eric Roberts. Hold on. Fine, you can come over. Nolte cannot come!

Nick Kroll: I really need to go to the bathroom.

[Music Playing]

Nick Kroll: Like, it's complicated. I got my sister pregnant when I was fifteen, so, like...

Jon Daly: So, I was like, fu*k you, my film won the judge's award at my mom's film festival. Yeah, do you guys wanna go chief some out?

Nick Kroll: We didn't like, invent mash-ups, but we pioneered them with some other artists. So. Oh my God thank you sweetie, I love you! I love her. She's been with us our whole lives.

Party Girls: Oh my God. Where is she from?

Nick Kroll: I have no idea.

Jon Daly: We met originally in St. Tropez and then we all hooked up when we were in Cabo, but none of us actually hung out until we were in Zurich, I think we were, right? Yeah, it was a super cold hotel and I think they said that because it was supposed to keep us younger, and we were like fu*k you, let's just luge.

Nick Kroll: [Laughing] Now you're all wet you dumb idiot.

Jon Daly: Dude, my phone! This had the architect in Madrid's number in it!

Nick Kroll: Dude, just borrow my phone.

Jon Daly: Fine.

Nick Kroll: Whatever. My sh*t's all backed up, bro.

Nick Kroll: Go dry off Michael Phelps, you swimmer. [Laughing] I just rocked the party. Put on some fu**ing real jams, bro!

Jon Daly: Hey, Wendy, looks like you won't be able to watch your fu**ing movies anymore.

Nick Kroll: Don't even fu**ing do that!

Nick Kroll: No! You fu**ing piece of garbage!

Jon Daly: That was hilarious.

Nick Kroll: Bygones?

Jon Daly: Bygones.

Jon Daly: Chief it out, guys.

Nick Kroll: Let's start the fu**ing party back on.

[Music Playing]

Nick Kroll: So, I was like I'm from New York and you're from sh*t town in Connecticut. My fu**ing father could buy and sell you. And then I slid down his fu**ing waterslide.

Jon Daly: I know it's like sh*tty and gauche to talk about class, but A, it's true and B...

Nick Kroll: And B, exactly. So, what's your deal?

Girl At Club: Last year I started a yoga studio.

Jon Daly: What?

Girl At Club: I was just saying that last year I started a yoga studio.

Nick Kroll: What are you talking about?

Girl At Club: I started a yoga studio last year. It was this little place in Venice that I ended up buying...

Jon Daly: Wendy! Is she still talking?! Wendy!

Girl At Club: You guys are fu**ing disgusting! Nobody even likes you! Everyone thinks you're fu**ing gay, you know that? Everyone thinks you're gay, and only hang out with you because you're rich.

Jon Daly: Hey. Do you wanna go powder your nose?

Nick Kroll: Do you want to go use the bathroom?

[Music Playing]

Jon Daly: Wendy, we have to go.

Nick Kroll: Shut up. Do we have everything? We have Kanye tickets?

Jon Daly: Yeah.

Nick Kroll: Backstage laminates?

Jon Daly: Yeah.

Nick Kroll: Shanif?

Jon Daly: Uh-huh.

Nick Kroll: Oxy?

Jon Daly: Of course.

Nick Kroll: Taser?

Jon Daly: Mm-hmm.

Nick Kroll: Breathalyzer?

Jon Daly: Yup.

Nick Kroll: Blanket?

Jon Daly: Yeah.

Nick Kroll: I feel like we're forgetting something.

Jon Daly: No, we're good.

Nick Kroll: All right.

[Water Running]

Jon Daly: I hope this is like, a white person concert, and not like a black Kanye.

Nick Kroll: No, it is.

[Music Playing]


From Around the Web