Rich Dicks
These two guys are rich, on the prowl and ready to party at a moments notice. They're also dicks.
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Actor
Nick Kroll
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Actor
Jon Daly
Additional Credits:
Starring: Jon Daly, Nick Kroll
Featuring: Katie Flynn, Theresa Galarza, Eileen Hsi, Jeremy Konner
Written by: Jon Daly, Nick Kroll
Directed by: Jonathan Krisel
Cinematography: Rachel Morrison
Location manager: Kelly Gould
Art Direction: Keren Kohen
Edited by: Jonathan Krisel
Thanks to: Eileen Walls
Starring: Jon Daly, Nick Kroll
Featuring: Katie Flynn, Theresa Galarza, Eileen Hsi, Jeremy Konner
Written by: Jon Daly, Nick Kroll
Directed by: Jonathan Krisel
Cinematography: Rachel Morrison
Location manager: Kelly Gould
Art Direction: Keren Kohen
Edited by: Jonathan Krisel
Thanks to: Eileen Walls
Added almost 4 years ago
12433 funny votes
3509 die votes
Description:
These two guys are rich, on the prowl and ready to party at a moments notice. They're also dicks.
Patience is overrated...
Patience is overrated...
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WEBVTT
00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:45.000
[Music Playing]
00:00:46.000 --> 00:00:50.000
<v Nick Kroll> Excuse me! Hot tower.
00:00:54.000 --> 00:00:56.000
<v Eileen Hsi> Do you mean hot towel?
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<v Jon Daly> Domo.
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<v Nick Kroll> This place rocks.
00:01:21.000 --> 00:01:22.000
<v Jon Daly> Mustafa.
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[Music Playing]
00:01:46.000 --> 00:01:49.000
<v Jon Daly> Wendy, where's my Blacks On Blondes Volume Seven DVD?
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<v Nick Kroll> I don't know.
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<v Jon Daly> I wanna tug out some yogurt.
00:01:54.000 --> 00:01:55.000
<v Nick Kroll> Fu*k yeah!
00:02:02.000 --> 00:02:05.000
<v Jon Daly> Dude, where is the Blacks On Blondes Volume Seven?
00:02:06.000 --> 00:02:09.000
<v Nick Kroll> [Coughing]
00:02:09.000 --> 00:02:14.000
<v Jon Daly> Where is my Blacks On Blondes Volume Seven, Wendy?! Ugh! Child!
00:02:23.000 --> 00:02:25.000
[TV Playing]
00:02:25.000 --> 00:02:27.000
<v Jon Daly> Call Eric Stoltz.
00:02:27.000 --> 00:02:29.000
<v Cell Phone Voice> Calling Eric Roberts.
00:02:29.000 --> 00:02:35.000
<v Jon Daly> I can't talk to Eric Roberts right now. Consuela! La La?
00:02:42.000 --> 00:02:46.000
<v Jon Daly> Where is the Blacks On Blondes Volume Seven, Wendy?!
00:02:46.000 --> 00:02:49.000
<v Nick Kroll> Fu*k you, Aspen! I just fu**ing died!
00:02:49.000 --> 00:02:51.000
<v Jon Daly> No, you didn't! Thanks to 'Suela.
00:02:51.000 --> 00:02:52.000
<v Nick Kroll> Love you, 'Suela.
00:02:53.000 --> 00:02:54.000
<v Jon Daly> 'Suela you're so beautiful. I wanna marry you.
00:02:54.000 --> 00:02:56.000
<v Nick Kroll> Do you wanna blow a line?
00:02:56.000 --> 00:02:59.000
<v Jon Daly> Do you wanna do a line of coke with us? You'd be so far if you did some coke.
00:02:59.000 --> 00:03:00.000
[Phone Rings]
00:03:00.000 --> 00:03:03.000
<v Jon Daly> Oh, it's fu**ing Eric Roberts. Hold on. Fine, you can come over. Nolte cannot come!
00:03:03.000 --> 00:03:05.000
<v Nick Kroll> I really need to go to the bathroom.
00:03:07.000 --> 00:03:21.000
[Music Playing]
00:03:21.000 --> 00:03:24.000
<v Nick Kroll> Like, it's complicated. I got my sister pregnant when I was fifteen, so, like...
00:03:26.000 --> 00:03:33.000
<v Jon Daly> So, I was like, fu*k you, my film won the judge's award at my mom's film festival. Yeah, do you guys wanna go chief some out?
00:03:36.000 --> 00:03:44.000
<v Nick Kroll> We didn't like, invent mash-ups, but we pioneered them with some other artists. So. Oh my God thank you sweetie, I love you! I love her. She's been with us our whole lives.
00:03:44.000 --> 00:03:46.000
<v Party Girls> Oh my God. Where is she from?
00:03:46.000 --> 00:03:48.000
<v Nick Kroll> I have no idea.
00:03:51.000 --> 00:04:06.000
<v Jon Daly> We met originally in St. Tropez and then we all hooked up when we were in Cabo, but none of us actually hung out until we were in Zurich, I think we were, right? Yeah, it was a super cold hotel and I think they said that because it was supposed to keep us younger, and we were like fu*k you, let's just luge.
00:04:08.000 --> 00:04:13.000
<v Nick Kroll> [Laughing] Now you're all wet you dumb idiot.
00:04:16.000 --> 00:04:20.000
<v Jon Daly> Dude, my phone! This had the architect in Madrid's number in it!
00:04:20.000 --> 00:04:22.000
<v Nick Kroll> Dude, just borrow my phone.
00:04:22.000 --> 00:04:23.000
<v Jon Daly> Fine.
00:04:24.000 --> 00:04:26.000
<v Nick Kroll> Whatever. My sh*t's all backed up, bro.
00:04:29.000 --> 00:04:40.000
<v Nick Kroll> Go dry off Michael Phelps, you swimmer. [Laughing] I just rocked the party. Put on some fu**ing real jams, bro!
00:04:41.000 --> 00:04:46.000
<v Jon Daly> Hey, Wendy, looks like you won't be able to watch your fu**ing movies anymore.
00:04:46.000 --> 00:04:49.000
<v Nick Kroll> Don't even fu**ing do that!
00:04:51.000 --> 00:04:52.000
<v Nick Kroll> No! You fu**ing piece of garbage!
00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:01.000
<v Jon Daly> That was hilarious.
00:05:01.000 --> 00:05:02.000
<v Nick Kroll> Bygones?
00:05:02.000 --> 00:05:03.000
<v Jon Daly> Bygones.
00:05:07.000 --> 00:05:08.000
<v Jon Daly> Chief it out, guys.
00:05:08.000 --> 00:05:10.000
<v Nick Kroll> Let's start the fu**ing party back on.
00:05:13.000 --> 00:05:26.000
[Music Playing]
00:05:26.000 --> 00:05:37.000
<v Nick Kroll> So, I was like I'm from New York and you're from sh*t town in Connecticut. My fu**ing father could buy and sell you. And then I slid down his fu**ing waterslide.
00:05:38.000 --> 00:05:47.000
<v Jon Daly> I know it's like sh*tty and gauche to talk about class, but A, it's true and B...
00:05:47.000 --> 00:05:51.000
<v Nick Kroll> And B, exactly. So, what's your deal?
00:05:51.000 --> 00:05:54.000
<v Girl At Club> Last year I started a yoga studio.
00:05:55.000 --> 00:05:56.000
<v Jon Daly> What?
00:05:57.000 --> 00:05:59.000
<v Girl At Club> I was just saying that last year I started a yoga studio.
00:06:01.000 --> 00:06:03.000
<v Nick Kroll> What are you talking about?
00:06:03.000 --> 00:06:08.000
<v Girl At Club> I started a yoga studio last year. It was this little place in Venice that I ended up buying...
00:06:08.000 --> 00:06:11.000
<v Jon Daly> Wendy! Is she still talking?! Wendy!
00:06:12.000 --> 00:06:20.000
<v Girl At Club> You guys are fu**ing disgusting! Nobody even likes you! Everyone thinks you're fu**ing gay, you know that? Everyone thinks you're gay, and only hang out with you because you're rich.
00:06:20.000 --> 00:06:24.000
<v Jon Daly> Hey. Do you wanna go powder your nose?
00:06:24.000 --> 00:06:26.000
<v Nick Kroll> Do you want to go use the bathroom?
00:06:28.000 --> 00:06:35.000
[Music Playing]
00:06:35.000 --> 00:06:37.000
<v Jon Daly> Wendy, we have to go.
00:06:37.000 --> 00:06:40.000
<v Nick Kroll> Shut up. Do we have everything? We have Kanye tickets?
00:06:40.000 --> 00:06:41.000
<v Jon Daly> Yeah.
00:06:41.000 --> 00:06:42.000
<v Nick Kroll> Backstage laminates?
00:06:42.000 --> 00:06:43.000
<v Jon Daly> Yeah.
00:06:43.000 --> 00:06:44.000
<v Nick Kroll> Shanif?
00:06:44.000 --> 00:06:45.000
<v Jon Daly> Uh-huh.
00:06:45.000 --> 00:06:46.000
<v Nick Kroll> Oxy?
00:06:46.000 --> 00:06:47.000
<v Jon Daly> Of course.
00:06:47.000 --> 00:06:48.000
<v Nick Kroll> Taser?
00:06:48.000 --> 00:06:49.000
<v Jon Daly> Mm-hmm.
00:06:49.000 --> 00:06:50.000
<v Nick Kroll> Breathalyzer?
00:06:50.000 --> 00:06:51.000
<v Jon Daly> Yup.
00:06:51.000 --> 00:06:52.000
<v Nick Kroll> Blanket?
00:06:52.000 --> 00:06:53.000
<v Jon Daly> Yeah.
00:06:53.000 --> 00:06:54.000
<v Nick Kroll> I feel like we're forgetting something.
00:06:56.000 --> 00:06:57.000
<v Jon Daly> No, we're good.
00:06:57.000 --> 00:06:58.000
<v Nick Kroll> All right.
00:06:59.000 --> 00:07:08.000
[Water Running]
00:07:08.000 --> 00:07:10.000
<v Jon Daly> I hope this is like, a white person concert, and not like a black Kanye.
00:07:10.000 --> 00:07:11.000
<v Nick Kroll> No, it is.
00:07:11.000 --> 00:07:17.000
[Music Playing]
More by Nick Kroll and Jon Daly
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