Denise Richards' Funbags

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The video opens with a shot of Denise Richards handing out brightly decorated brown lunch bags to several children. She smiles at the children and shakes her head a little. Fifties style music plays in the background.

Denise Richards: Kids. Hi, I’m Denise Richards. Most People know me as a Hollywood celebrity or from my reality show on E!, but it’s no secret what I’m best known for. Just mention my name and most people will say, it’s my funbags. It’s true! Everyone loves my funbags. And now I’m proud to say…

Denise Richards picks up two of the decorated brown bags from a kitchen counter and holds them out. The shot focuses in on her breasts with the bags out of focus in the foreground and the words – Denise Richards Fun Bags –appear.

Denise Richards: You can get your own hands on Denise Richards’ fabulous fun bags. I’ve been showing off my fun bags at parties for years and now they can be yours to enjoy. A lot of people ask me, how big are my fun bags? Rest assured, when you get your hands on my fun bags, you’ll be impressed. And yes, they’re one hundred percent real, no unhealthy fake stuff here. So there’s no need to worry. And here’s a tip. I try to keep my fun bags hidden for most of a party. If I show them right away, everyone starts grabbing at them and no one shares. Listen to what these guys have to say about getting a hold of my fun bags.

The shot cuts to a young boy.

Young Boy #1: Her parties are the best. I can’t wait to get my hands on her fun bags.

The shot cuts to a young girl.

Young Girl: I can’t wait til I grow up so I can have fun bags of my own.

The shot cuts to another young boy.

Young Boy #2: This is way better than renting Miss Richards' movies. This is the real thing.

The shot cuts back to Denise Richards.

Denise Richards: Order now and for a special treat, when you get my sugary sweet fun bags, I’m gonna include my honkers.

Denise Richards hold up two bike horns and makes them honk.

Denise Richards: And, my signature hoo-ha.

Denise Richards holds up a kazoo and plays a little tune.

Denise Richards: While squeezing my honkers, put your lips on my hoo-ha and let the party begin.

Denise Richards squeezes the bike horns repeatedly while playing the kazoo.

Denise Richards: If you like what you see here, just pick up a phone.

Denise Richards walks outside.

Denise Richards: Don’t wait any longer, my fun bags are right here waiting for you! Waiting for you!

The shot moves to a close up of Denise Richards face and she speaks very fast.

Denise Richards: First fifty calls gets a picture of my boobs.

The shot cuts to a still image of Denise Richards and the following appears above and below her. ORDER NOW 1-555-FUNBAGS