These have been dramatic and turbulent weeks for the Conservative Party and their dedication to making people's lives absolutely fucking shit.
The public reaction to the sight of Conservative MPs banging a Bishop in the street without any thought about the impact on traffic or public services or the character of the community reminds people that the Conservative Party routinely do bad things.
As any historian will tell you, we lose our temper more than any other people in Europe, we are the least trusting and loneliest people in the rich world, we have record drug abuse, record snobbishness and record waste, exploitation and abuse.
It's no wonder people feel so frankly disgusted with each and every Conservative MP. Because let's face it - we are massive, self-serving wankers that are completely unaccountable to the people of Britain.
Today, I'm making clear a vision of a Conservative Britain. We will end human rights for well over a century with the creation of a fear facility in the centre of ever town where over 100 percent of the population will be sort of processed into grey, monotonous Conservative Members of Parliament.
We will end entertainment, shopping, travel, entertainment, music.
We're going to get rid of any parent who isn't happy with their child being uploaded to YouTube - because that's what the system is there for.
And we will introduce automatic guillotines for children from the poorest families.
Well, we're going to have to kill so many innocent citizens - with a safety harness on - as soon as possible. For example, all our teenage policement, benefit claimants on the street, a wood-panelled cabinet packed full of 25,000 doctors and nurses and anyone in the world speaking a strange language.
This is exactly what people can expect from my Orwellian Surveillance State...
And as I've already said, I will oversee this Britain from a distant glass tower, where no cunt will be able to get at me.
Thank you, but unfortunately I really don't give a toss about the people of Britain.