Ask A Drunk Chick - Episode #3 (What Kind of Cologne Should I Wear?)

Tinygod—

That sounds like an educated guess. So let me ask YOU, since you seem to be the expert at hanging around at dive bars near the airport: when ogling drunk women, do you leer at them with your fat bug-eyes, or just hide sweating behind the bar-top quiz machine until you run out of quarters? Are you a latent rapist, or have you actually used the pocket... more >

Tinygod—

That sounds like an educated guess. So let me ask YOU, since you seem to be the expert at hanging around at dive bars near the airport: when ogling drunk women, do you leer at them with your fat bug-eyes, or just hide sweating behind the bar-top quiz machine until you run out of quarters? Are you a latent rapist, or have you actually used the pocketful of GHB you carry with you wherever you go? Do women despise you, or just get the shivering creeps whenever they look at you? Wait, let me guess… every woman you meet tells you you’re just “GROSS”. Am I right?

Now then, “tiny”god, can I make a suggestion? If you want to make yourself seem superior by casting aspersions, I recommend you check your guerilla attacks for mistakes in grammar, spelling, and general logic. There are 7 by my count, the only forgivable one being your misspelling of “HERPES”, inasmuch as there’s no chance you’ll ever be exposed to it (or any other SEXUALLY transmitted disease for that matter).

I can see how all this might be confusing for you. It’s because you’re a halfwit.

P.S.

The girls most likely already own pillows. Girls ALWAYS have pillows. If you’d ever been inside a woman’s bedroom, you’d know that.