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Lotta hate out thar in the wurl. I sware I thank it shood be illeegul ta use N words... more »
Published May 30, 2011 86 views More Info »
Hey!
It's Loretta Jenkins
and damn it's time for another
hot topic on How I Seize It.
And y'all...
I just went up to New York City to go
to my cousin's parole release party
and hell, they got every shade of colo
livin' up in there.
Which is kinda cool,
cause we ain't got nothin'
but a bunch of tight-ass
white folk livin' around here.
It's a true melty pot, y'all.
I mean, the brownest person
around here is Mary Lou,
since she come back
lookin' all different and shit.
Have y'all ever notice her tan don't never fade?
That's weird...
She must slather up in bronzer every morning.
Yeah...
She look slutty now.
So, I was up in the Big Apples
and this black dude at the party
asks me if he can take me out to dinner.
Well, I'm old enough to know what that means.
That means...
'meet me out in the
stairwell so we can fuck.'
(laughs)
(coughs)
You black girls, you know
what I'm talkin' about.
Yeah!
So right in the middle
of me gettin' my groove on with this hungin'-
That's what I call a youngin'
with a big pecker...
A hungin'!
(laughs)
I just crack...myself...up!
(laughs)
(coughs)
This here's what's happened.
These two old white farts
walks by talkin' about,
"Put some clothes on!"
And I was just like,
"Y'all just jealous cause he got a big old-"
AHHHHHH!
And then I just scream alot,
cause hungin' was hittin' some guts!
I think he move my kidney up in me
about a foot or somethin'.
And then they haul us off to jail.
Now you talk about a fuckin' hate crime!
And then, while I was in the slammer,
I had a piffany.
I realize that most white dudes
hate on coloreds because most times
they hung little down there.
And that is why they's racisms.
That's why Koreans
don't like black folks especially.
I mean sure, there's plenty of ignorant
black and brown and yellow folks out there-
Well, maybe not the yellow ones
cause some of them pretty good with figures...
But I bet if you looked at a census,
or some F.A.T. scores,
you gonna probably find out
there's the same number of proportionate dumbass
white folks livin' out there amongst you, too!
I know that's all I got livin' around me!
Now if you white
and you hateful to anybody that ain't
white or straight or Christian,
than you just got hate in your heart,
and you ain't doin' humanity
not one bit of good.
Not one bit of good whatsoever.
You...just...hateful!
You mean!
So I'm just gonna get some of my
witchcraft faggot buddies
to throw a spell on you,
so you just shootin' blanks,
or so you don't raise your
youngins to be little bigots.
Or as Lo calls them, 'biglets.'
(laughs)
And I ain't lettin' you pale-hatin'
black folks get off the hook neither.
I mean, I take up for y'alls plenty,
so you gotta get off your hatin' too.
And pull up your damn pants!
I mean if you wantin' to wear them low
than you need to at least turn them around
so we can see what you're workin' with!
Hell, ain't nobody wantin' to look at your shitter!
I mean, we ain't all racist assholes.
That's probably cause I was birthed up in Canada,
and that's why I can't run for president.
I mean, I hates to disappoint my drankin' buddies
out there who keeps wantin' me to,
but I don't want no racist birthers after me.
So y'all quit actin' like a bunch of
dumb fuck bitch-ass haters,
and then we'll be just fine!
What's wrong with y'all?!?
And that's How I Seize It!
(burps)
(sighs)
Lo hath spoken.
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