The Landlord Immortal

Adam McKay: So, it says here Madonna is
reinventing herself again.
Adam McKay: Hey, did you get that letter from the doctor yet?
Will Ferrell: I did.
Adam McKay: What did it say?
Will Ferrell: My dad's gay.
Adam McKay: I knew it.
Adam McKay: Those blood tests don't lie.
[knock at the door]
Adam McKay: Who's that?
Will Ferrell: It's my landlord, Pearl.
[door knocks]
Will Ferrell: I'm really late on my rent.
Adam McKay: Oh, I'm getting out of
here man.
She's nasty.
Will Ferrell: No, no, please, I need you to stay.
Adam McKay: This is going to be ugly.
Will Ferrell: Hi Pearl.
Pearl: Where's the rent?
Will Ferrell: You don't have to raise your voice.
Pearl: You pay now!
Will Ferrell: I can give you half.
Pearl: You pay...
Pearl: ...now, bitch!
Will Ferrell: Hey don't talk to me like that, okay.
Pearl: I'm tired of this crap.
Will Ferrell: Look, I...I thought I was clear
in my email,
Will Ferrell: that I need a couple of weeks.
Pearl: I work too hard...
Will Ferrell: Can I just get two more weeks?
Pearl: I want my money.
Will Ferrell: You need to relax.
Pearl: You're an asshole!
Will Ferrell: Uh-uh!
Pearl: I want my money, bitch.
Will Ferrell: Hey don't call me a bitch.
Will Ferrell: I'm a grown man!
Pearl: Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch...
Will Ferrell: God you're mean.
[he weeps]
[she laughs]
Will Ferrell: Don't make fun of me crying.
Pearl: You'll be evicted.
Will Ferrell: I'm not doing so good Pearl.
Pearl: I put you on the streets.
Will Ferrell: Pearl, I'm gonna pay you.
Will Ferrell: I'm working 3 jobs right now.
Will Ferrell: I'm working nights. I'm driving a cab.
Will Ferrell: I'm inside with my buddy right
now just going over my resume.
Pearl: I'm gonna smack you.
Will Ferrell: Okay, you know what.
Will Ferrell: You need to relax.
Pearl: I want my money!!
Will Ferrell: Look, why do you need your
money so fast? C'mon.
Pearl: I need to get my drink on.
Will Ferrell: You scare me.
Pearl: You're an alcoholic.
Pearl: Can I have 4 beers?
Will Ferrell: Seriously, you are an alcoholic.
Will Ferrell: Yeah you're drunk.
Will Ferrell: I knew it.
Will Ferrell: You're already drunk.
Pearl: I'm just buzzed.
Will Ferrell: You're in no condition to
deal with this right now.
Pearl: I'm taking my beer.
Will Ferrell: Just take your beer and get
out of here okay.
Will Ferrell: Yeah we'll talk tomorrow.
Will Ferrell: This isn't over.
Pearl: Come, mommy.
Will Ferrell: Jesus.