Pineapple Express - Red Band Trailer

WOW – I WAS JUST TALKING ABOUT THIS TRAILER TODAY WHILE SMOKING LIKE GANDALF AND BILBO, MAN!

See, I told my UK dealer about this movie today and we were all like “Why doesn’t IMDB show the UK release dates anymore so we know when this sweet stoner film will ... more >

WOW – I WAS JUST TALKING ABOUT THIS TRAILER TODAY WHILE SMOKING LIKE GANDALF AND BILBO, MAN!

See, I told my UK dealer about this movie today and we were all like “Why doesn’t IMDB show the UK release dates anymore so we know when this sweet stoner film will be in the theaters here” and since I am FROM the US see, I let him in on the little secret that IMDB was the brainchild of this dude from the war of 1812 and like when the war was in D.C. how he had just married this really hot deb and then bought this house and it was just built and then the British came and burnt it down. so he left this will and a dime in the bank to his kid by some ugly broad that he had to pay when his hot deb wife left him for having no money and his house burned down and his face melted (sort of like the Titanica kid only it was his face not his body) and told that kid to leave all the interest from that dime alone until one day in perpetuity his descendant could build IMDB and NEVER TELL THE BRITS when any good US movies were going to be released, so they would all smoke their Amsterdam weed and think they’re all like hot shit with soccer and Beckham and that freak James Blunt and Pinewood studios and the QUEEN and her Dumbo-eared kid Chuck who is named after the only British King to be beheaded, and then MISS the really cool American movies to get back at them;

oh and he further decided to start us celebrating out firework holiday in the summer when we can enjoy them instead of freaking November on an Island between the North Atlantic (TITANIC!?!?) and the North Sea (SUNKEN RUSSIAN DEAD SUB GUYS) when they can’t be enjoyed cause it’s raining in your face, your Stadium Pal bag has frozen to your leg and you know you are haviung a shit night when the Edinburgh chapter of the Church of Scientology is passing out fliers about Thetans, so that we in the US could laugh at Britain even more…

Wait – am I still high from visiting my dealer earlier tonight? I better be with the exchange rate, man. That dope is like gold over here. Invest me hearties, yo ho!