Tim Cook announces 33 must-have accessories for Apple Watch.
Published March 11, 2015 120k views More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Starring
David Neher
Corey Clifford
Directors & Editors- Jack Bishop & Justin Nijm
Writer- Lindsay Kerns
Producer- Brianne Trosie
DP- Barry Elmore
Gaffer- Brandon Wilson
Key Grip- Jerome Joves
Swing- Mike Maliwanag
1st AC- Ryan Guzdzial
Production Design- Susie Mancini
Art Director- Heidi Koleto
Sound- Shannon Deane for BoTown Sound
Wardrobe- Jordy Scheinberg
Hair & Makeup- Taylor Tompkins
PA- Becca Scheuer
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Published: March 11, 2015

(you hear crowd applause)

> GOOD MORNING, GOOD MORNING.
MORNING.
MORNING.
ON MONDAY WE MADE HISTORY, BY ANNOUNCING THE THING YOU KNEW
WE WERE GOING TO ANNOUNCE, THE APPLE WATCH, AND BOY WAS THAT FUN.
YEAH.
THE APPLE WATCH BY ITSELF IS BASICALLY USELESS.
SO WHAT WE DID REAL QUICKLY IS COME UP WITH A BUNCH OF ADD-ONS.
THE FIRST ADD-ON, THE APPLE WATCH KEYBOARD.
THIS BEAUTIFUL DEVICE SEAMLESSLY PLUGS INTO THE APPLE WATCH BAND ALLOWING
YOU TO WRITE YOUR SCREENPLAYS AND YOUR BLOGSPOTS ON THE GO WITH ONE HAND.
SAVE THE STRENGTH OF YOUR POINTER FINGER WITH OUR NEW I-MOUSE.
THE NEW I-MOUSE WHICH DISCRETELY MELTS INTO THE APPLE WATCH'S INTERFACE.
NOW I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING, THAT SCREEN IS PRETTY SMALL.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WATCH MY HULU'S AND HA-BO NOW?
THAT'S WHY WE'VE CREATED A CONVENIENT 17-INCH SCREEN THAT FITS COMFORTABLY
ON YOUR FOREARM. I MEAN WHERE DO I COME UP WITH THESE THINGS.
WELL I HAVE A LITTLE HELP.
GOOD MORNING.
NOW LET'S GET REAL, THESE ACCESSORIES CAN GET PRETTY HEAVY.
THAT IS WHY WE INVENTED THE ERGONOMIC I-SETTER, AND I-SITTER TO GIVE YOUR WRIST
ALL THE SUPPORT IT NEEDS. IT'S LIKE A DESK ON YOUR ARM,
BUT WE GOT MORE, SO MUCH MORE.
WE GOT THE I-STAPLER, THE I-TAPER, I-HOLEPUNCH, I-PRINTER, I-DRYERASEBOARD,
I-DRYERASEMARKER, I-LABLELER, I-WIFI, I-MAITAI, I-PEN, I-PAN, I-FAN, I-GLANCE,
RAYBANS, BANDANAS, BANANA, BON BON, TON TON, TA-TAS, TOO TOOS, POO POO, POM POM,
(inaudible), AND STAPLE REMOVERS.
BUT THAT'S NOT ALL. WE KNOW THAT OUR CUSTOMERS VALUE SECURITY, AND THAT IS
WHY WE'VE INVENTED THE I-CHAIN. A CUTTING EDGE TECHNOLOGY THAT MINIMIZES THEFT.
YOU'LL NEVER LOSE YOUR WATCH AGAIN.
HERE AT APPLE WE UNDERSTAND THAT, WELL PEOPLE CHANGE THEIR MINDS. MAYBE ONE
DAY YOU'LL WAKE UP AND YOU'LL SAY, WHAT HAPPENED TO ME? I USED TO HAVE REAL FRIENDS.
I USED TO READ BOOKS - THE KIND WITH PAGES. I USED TO LOOK UP ON MY PHONE
WHEN I WAS DRIVING MY CAR. I USED TO FEEL.
I USED TO REALLY FEEL THINGS.
H-HOW DID I BECOME THIS SICK MINDLESS BUNCH, SLAVED TO THE ALMIGHTY ALL KNOWING
LIFE SUCKING, TOWN FUCKING SCREEN.
THAT'S WHY WE INVENTED THE I-SAW.
THIS SLEEK ALUMINUM HACKSAW WILL HELP YOU CUT OFF YOUR OWN HAND FREEING YOURSELF
FROM THE TYRANNY OF TECHNOLOGY.
GOD GET ME OUT OF THIS LIFE!
THE APPLE WATCH LADIES AND GENTLEMAN.
IT'S ABOUT TIME.

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