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Space Spring Break #8
Published March 16, 2014 30k views More Info »
92 Funny Votes
135 Die Votes
29,821 Views
Published March 16, 2014

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(drunken stupor atmosphere)

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GUY, GUYS, CAN I SHOW YOU
SOMETHING THAT I'VE NEVER SHOWN

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ANYONE BEFORE?

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UH, YES.

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OH YEAH. LOOK AT THAT.

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- WOO.
- THIS SPOT,

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THIS SPOT, I GOT FROM A PLUTO SNAKE.

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HE DREW MY BLOOD. I DREW MY
BLASTER, AND I ERASED HIS STUPID FACE SNAKE.

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SNAKE FACE, WOOPS!

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(laughter)

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WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP.
I'M TRYING TO SLEEP.

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OH, OH, OH, MRS. SPACE BEER.
WHAT CELESTIAL BUG CLIMBED UP YOUR BUTT?

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OOH...

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YOU KNOW THIS IS THE WORSE
SPACE SPRING BREAK EVER.

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(laughter)

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(TOGETHER): NUTTBUSTER!
NUTTBUSTER! NUTTBUSTER!

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YEAH!

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HEY, WHERE'D YOU GET THAT ONE?

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UH, THAT'S...

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OH, COME ON JUST TELL US.

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I JUST HAD A TATOO REMOVED. THAT'S ALL.

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WHAT DOES IT SAY? MOMMY?

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(laughs)

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NO. IT SAYS, SS IOWA CITY.

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WHAT'S THE SS IOWA CITY?

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BEFORE I WAS COMMANDER
NUTTBUSTER OF THE GALACTIC POLICE,

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I WAS PETTY OFFICER NUTTBUSTER
OF THE GALACTIC SPACE CORPS.

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I WAS ON THE SS IOWA CITY. WE
WERE DELIVERING MINING EQUIPMENT

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TO THE DIAMOND
MOON OF FLOVIAN 15.

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WHEN AN ASTEROID HIT
OUR SHIP, AND BREACHED A HULL.

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(sigh) THOSE WHO COULD MADE
IT TO THE PODS, BUT FOR THE REST

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OF US THERE WAS ONLY TIME TO
PUT ON OUR SPACE SUIT, AND OUR
SPACE HELMETS.

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OF THE 3000 CREW MEMBERS,
ONLY 15 MADE IT TO THE ESCAPE PODS.

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400 IMPLODED WITH THE SHIP ITSELF.

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THAT LEFT 2585 MEN FLOATING
IN THE DARKNESS OF SPACE.

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MILLIONS OF MILES OFF COURSE
WITH NO ONE COMING TO RESCUE THEM.

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AND THAT'S WHEN THE
SPACE SHARKS SHOWED UP.

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AT FIRST, JUST ONE OR TWO
WERE NIBBLING AT US, BUT THEN

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AS WE TRIED TO FIGHT THEM OFF
IT TURNED INTO A FEEDING FRENZY.

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YOU EVER SEE WHAT
HAPPENS TO BLOOD IN SPACE?

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WHEN IT SPIRTS FROM YOUR
BODY IT CRYSTALIZES INSTANTLY.

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IT'S ALMOST LIKE SNOW FLAKES.

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AND THROUGH THAT RED HAZE YOU
COULD SEE THE GLOWING TEETH OF

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THOSE SHARKS TEARING AT THE FLESH.

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(NUTTBUSTER): OF THE 2585 MEN
FLOATING IN SPACE, ONLY 11
SURVIVED ONCE THE

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RESCUE ARRIVED.

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THE REST WENT TO THE SPACE SHARKS.

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I HAD NO IDEA.

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UH, SAY, WAVES, I THINK I COULD
USE SOMETHING A BIT STRONGER.

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HOW ABOUT A PULL OFF THAT
COLONEL FISHBONE?

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ANYTHING FOR OUR NEW
FRIEND THE COMMANDER.

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YEAH!

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WOO!

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(snoring)

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SWEET DREAMS CAPTAIN WAVES.

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PARTY.

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Up Next:

Space Spring Break #9

AUTOPLAY
Up Next In: 10
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