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Norm delivers a valuable nugget of wisdom to the graduating class of 2014.
Published May 30, 2014 120k views More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Starring Norm Macdonald
Director Andy Bush
Written by Norm Macdonald and Lori Jo Hoekstra
Producers Betsy Koch and Matt Mazany
Director of Photography Brian Lane
Production Design Tricia Robertson
Wardrobe Stylist Jacquelyn Moran
Make Up/Hair Robin Fuqua
Camera Operators Aaron Ulrich and Matt Sweeney
Editor Caleb Swyers
Assistant Editor William Maxwell
PA Billy Jones
Sound Mixer - JP Robelot for BoTown Sound

1

WELL CONGRATULATIONS

2

GRADUATING CLASS OF 2014.

3

I AM HONORED TO BE HERE.

4

NOW YOU ARE PROBABLY GOING TO
FORGET MOST OF THE ADVICE

5

YOU GET THIS WEEK.

6

I FIGURED I HAVE A BETTER
CHANCE OF DOING SOME REAL

7

GOOD IF I GIVE YOU A SINGLE
SPECIFIC BIT OF PRACTICAL ADVICE

8

THAT HAS SERVED ME WELL THROUGHOUT
MY TWOSCORE AND TEN.

9

SO MEMBERS OF CLASS 2014,
REMEMBER THIS IF YOU REMEMBER

10

ANYTHING DO NOT FIDDLE WITH
YOUR KEYS OVER A GRATING.

11

12

DO NOT FIDDLE WITH YOUR KEYS
WHILE WALKING ON A BRIDGE

13

OR A BALCONY OR ANYTHING LIKE
THAT BUT ESPECIALLY SOMETHING

14

WITH SLACKS OR OPENINGS SUCH AS
CHARACTERIZED, A GRATING.

15

DON'T MESS WITH YOUR KEYS NEAR A
SEWER, OR OVERLOOKING A LAKE.

16

NOW MAYBE THESE SITUATIONS
WILL BE RARE, THE GRATING

17

SCENARIO YOU'LL FIND IS NOT RARE
AT ALL, BUT AS COMMONPLACE

18

AS SAND ITSELF.

19

COULD BE YOUR HOUSE KEYS.

20

COULD BE YOUR CAR KEYS.

21

COULD BE KEYS TO SOME STORAGE UNIT.

22

WHY I SUPPOSE IT EVEN COULD
BE KEYS TO A SKI MOBILE.

23

(LAUGHTER)

24

BUT DO NOT JANGLE AND TOSS
AROUND YOUR KEYS WHILE YOU

25

ARE OVER ANYTHING THAT COULD
BE DESCRIBED BY A FAIR MINDED

26

INDIVIDUAL AS A GRATING.

27

YOUR KEYS ARE A SACRED TRUST.

28

PLEASE KEEP AWAY...

29

30

FROM GRATINGS.

31

- THANK YOU VERY MUCH
- (APPLAUSE)

32

AND GOOD LUCK TO YOU,
GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL.

33

GOOD LUCK TO YOU,
GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL.

34

(APPLAUSE CONTINUES)

35

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