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My Comedy Holiday Song. Music & Lyrics by: Beth Jean Produced, Recorded & Mixed by: Sailor Alexander
Published December 10, 2013 24 views More Info »
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Published December 10, 2013
No f*#$ing boyfriend,
Because he f*&^ing cheated
It’s the lovely season
To be f@*%ing lonely in

Now I need a reason to stay in bed
Without my medical records saying I’m clinically depressed
And a little sympathy from my friends
Without thinking I’m a f&^#ing lonely mess

All I want for Christmas is Mononucleuosis
Don’t care about the Christmas tree
Just please bring on the sleep for me

No gift certificate
Just give me someone’s very sick spit
No box of Godiva
Just give me sleepy time saliva

Cause my happy time is my nappy time
And I just want to sleep all the freaking time
So find me a boy who says they can sleep for ages
And lets kiss and hope it’s contagious

All I want for Christmas is Mononucleosis
Don’t care about the Christmas tree
Just please bring on the sleep for me
Won’t worry about going home
Just mess with my platelet cell count so
All I get for Christmas is mono


January through July and even through Octobe
My muscles ache, my hair fell out, my throat is still on fire
Then I hear from the boy the one who screwed me ove
Sorry for cheating, you’re my everything,
Can I see you again?
Mono, oh, the gift that keeps on giving

All I got for Christmas is Mononucleosis
Don’t care about the Christmas tree
Just please bring on the sleep for me
Won’t worry about going home
Just mess with my platelet cell count so
All I got for Christmas is mono

Mistletoe, Anyone?
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