A new version of The Christmas Song.
Published December 23, 2013 2.6k views More Info »
127 Funny Votes
89 Die Votes
2,590 Views
Published: December 23, 2013

[piano playing]
(exhales)
Christmas it's here.
Oh it's right plop down here.
Xmas.
Who's ready?
No one ever is, but you can't change it.
Johnny Pemberton: You can't do
anything about it.
Johnny Pemberton: It's really--
[microphone feedback]
Johnny Pemberton: It's really all kind of
things this Christmas.
[car horn]
[inaudible]
Johnny Pemberton: Maybe it's just a bucket of
snow, or something fun,
Johnny Pemberton: but that's what it is.
Johnny Pemberton: Christmas.
Johnny Pemberton: ♪ Christmas ♪
Johnny Pemberton: What is that?
Johnny Pemberton: What it's really about is a let's
get together, and having a song.
Johnny Pemberton: So I'd like for this to be
my gift to you.
Johnny Pemberton: ♪ Chestnuts roasting
on an open fire ♪
Johnny Pemberton: ♪ Jack Frost nipping
at your nose ♪
Johnny Pemberton: Pow!
Johnny Pemberton: Jack Frost.
Johnny Pemberton: ♪ Yuletide choir...carols
being sung by a choir. ♪
Johnny Pemberton: Oh that's too much snow.
Can you believe it?
Johnny Pemberton: ♪ Chestnuts they're
still roasting... ♪
Johnny Pemberton: ♪ Because nobody knows
when to stop ♪
Johnny Pemberton: ♪ Take a nap, because nobody
actually roasted them ♪
Johnny Pemberton: ♪ You know what I mean?
Just toast them, don't boast them ♪
♪ [inaudible] ♪
Johnny Pemberton: ♪ Oh, tiny tots ♪
Johnny Pemberton: ♪ With their eyes
have a glow ♪
Johnny Pemberton: They're going to find they'll
hardly sleep tonight,
Johnny Pemberton: ♪ Because Santa's
on his way ♪
Johnny Pemberton: ♪ He's on his way ♪
Johnny Pemberton: ♪ He's on his way ♪
Johnny Pemberton: ♪ He's going to sleigh down that
white building with goodies and toys ♪
Johnny Pemberton: ♪ Have a sexual encounter on
Christmas, it's okay ♪
Johnny Pemberton: ♪ Forgiven ♪
Yeah.
Johnny Pemberton: ♪ You might want
to pick it out ♪
Johnny Pemberton: ♪ Pick it up
Throw it down♪
Johnny Pemberton: ♪ Hot tubs ♪
Johnny Pemberton: ♪ It's been so
many times ♪
Johnny Pemberton: ♪ So many ways, oh ♪
Male with Glasses: You know--
Johnny Pemberton: ♪ Merry Christmas ♪
Johnny Pemberton: ♪ [inaudible] ♪
♪ Merry Christmas to you ♪
Johnny Pemberton: ♪ Do you like
pina coladas ♪
Johnny Pemberton: ♪ Getting caught in
a white Christmas ♪
Johnny Pemberton: ♪ Folks dressed up
like Eskimos ♪
Johnny Pemberton: Can you still say
that word (laughs)?
Johnny Pemberton: ♪ You can, it's Christmas ♪
Johnny Pemberton: ♪ It doesn't matter
what you say ♪
Johnny Pemberton: ♪ As long as you got a
couple of Bourbon's Burst ♪
Johnny Pemberton: Yeah.
Johnny Pemberton: ♪ Turkey stuffed
with mistletoe ♪
Johnny Pemberton: ♪ That's ironic ♪
Johnny Pemberton: ♪ Don't kiss the turkey
until you cook it up ♪
[car horn]
Johnny Pemberton: Goddammit!
♪ [inaudible] ♪
Johnny Pemberton: Johnny: Open 'til 10.
Come on in.
[large truck horn]
[ending theme jingle]

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