Jimmy and the Cop w/ James Franco

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James Franco

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Funny Or Die

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The video opens with an icon that reads Harvard Lampoon. The shot cuts to the following text: The following is unreleased rehearsal footage from James Franco's upcoming film, Jimmy and the Cop. The shot cuts to James Franco and Will Bailey sitting opposite of each other. 

Director (off-camera): Alright, guys, so we're excited to have you here. This is our first scene for Jimmy and the Cop. 

James Franco is handed a script. 

Director (off-camera): James, so I've got you as this police officer. It's a great part. I think you're going to be really good for it. So I'm really excited to have you on-board. 

James Franco: Cool. 

Director (off-camera): And Will, you are playing James Franco. 

James Franco: What? 

Director (off-camera): So let's just take it from the top. 

Will Bailey: Hello, I am James Franco. You can call me James Franco. 

James Franco: Cut! John, what's going on here? 

Will Bailey: Why are we stopping? 

Director (off-camera): I don't think you get to call cut, first of all. 

James Franco: I just don't understand why he's playing James Franco. I'm James Franco. 

Director (off-camera): Will, first of all, that was good. 

Will Bailey: Yeah, I nailed that. 

Director (off-camera): James, no offense, but Will, I think he does an awesome James Franco. You just heard it. He nailed it. 

James Franco: Yeah, I guess. 

Director (off-camera): Yeah, so, let's just take it again from the top. 

Will Bailey: Hello, I am James Franco. You can call me James Franco. 

Will Bailey gives James Franco a ridiculous looking smile. 

James Franco: Tell me, James, where were you on the night of March 23. 

Director (off-camera): Alright, hold on a second, dudes. Don't force anything.

James Franco: I'm not forcing anything. Did you see that shit? That was bullshit. 

Director (off-camera): You're James Franco. You're like a well-known actor. 

James Franco: I know who I am! I'm James Franco! 

Director (off-camera): Let's do it again from the top. 

Will Bailey: Hello, I am James Franco. You can call me James Franco. 

James Franco shakes his head negatively. 

James Franco: What the fuck was I thinking? That was fucking amazing. 

Director (off-camera): I agree with you. 

James Franco: In other words, that was the worst fucking shit I've ever seen! Why the fuck is he playing me?

Director (off-camera): I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or is this...

Will Bailey: I think he's being sarcastic. 

James Franco: I'm being sarcastic because of, where the fuck am I! Why is this guy playing me? 

Director (off-camera): You're playing a cop. You are a police officer and he is James Franco. It's a movie. We're pretending. 

Will Bailey: None of this is real. This isn't real. 

James Franco: Really? Are we acting? 

Will Bailey: Yes. 

James Franco: I thought you were really James Franco for a second. You're not? 

Will Bailey: No. 

James Franco: Oh, shit. Okay. Now I've got it. Let's fucking move on. This is bullshit. 

Director (off-camera): Let's go to the final confrontation. 

James Franco: Do we stand for this? 

Director (off-camera): Yeah, you can stand up. That's fine. 

James Franco gets up out of his chair. Will Bailey starts to stand and stops rising in a stooped posture. 

James Franco: Can you stand? 

Will Bailey: Mmmm-hmmm. 

Will Bailey finishes standing. 

James Franco: Good. 

Director (off-camera): So Will...

James Franco: I feel like I'm looking at myself right here. I mean, it's uncanny. 

Director (off-camera): I want you to remember this guy you're playing. You're like a very, very low-functioning organism. 

Will Bailey: Like a retard? 

Director (off-camera): Lower.

Will Bailey laughs. 

Will Bailey: Okay, I think I got it. 

Director (off-camera): Alright, let's just try this one. 

Will Bailey: Oh no, you are pointing a gun at me. Me, James Franco. 

James Franco: Alright, Franco, end of the fucking line. 

James Franco points his fingers at Will Bailey like a gun. 

Will Bailey: I didn't finish my line. 

James Franco: Well...go ahead! 

Will Bailey: The movie star. 

Director (off-camera): And then? 

James Franco: Bang, bang, bang! Is that what you fucking want? 

Director (off-camera): That's exactly what I wanted. 

James Franco: This is stupidest fucking scene. You're the worst fucking director I've ever worked with! He's the worst fucking James Franco I've ever seen. 

Director: This is hilarious. 

James Franco: No you're hilarious! 

Director (to Will Bailey): Will, Show him what we're looking for. 

James Franco: Let's see it! 

Will Bailey: End of the road, Franco. Say you're prayers. 

James Franco: What a fucking moron! James “Pillsbury Doughboy” Franco! What the fuck is this crap. 

Director (to Will Bailey): Keep going. You keep going, I'm going to go talk to James. James, can you come here for a second?

James Franco: Fuck you, man. 

Director: James, this is going to be a blockbuster. We need you.

James Franco: Fuck you! You go do the scene with fatty.

Director: Come back 

James Franco storms out an exit door.