Hello, and welcome to Butt Nothing!: The Quit-Smoking Quick Hypnosis Program. This Hypno-Training video will help you to develop a dislike for smoking on an entirely subconscious level. So let’s get started! Sit back, relax…take off your pants…watch the colors on the screen, and listen to my voice. Breath deeply as I count backwards from five. You will fall into a deep, restful, vulnerable trance. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…And sleep. Yes…It’s difficult to quit smoking. It probably seems like you can’t live without that hot, white, gratifying rod in your mouth, even though you’re fully aware of the health risks. You just have to suck one, then another. But you need to understand, a cigarette is simply a symbolic substitute for a fresh, juicy penis. And your love of cigarettes represents your constant, suppressed need to have a dick in your mouth. I mean, if cigarettes were pink, they would look very similar to teeny penises, and any time you had one in your mouth, it would be embarrassingly homoerotic. And Notice that it’s the Brown End that goes into your mouth… That represents the ring of shit left on a dude’s cock after he’s been ass-fucking you. Cigarette smoking is an act of homosexuality. And you’re no homo, are you? So, every time you get the urge to smoke, I want you to feel the exact same Gay panic you experience when you see two guy’s balls slapping together in a Gangbang Porno. Or like when you see photos of those Twilight fruits with their shirts off. Feel the shame… Now, if you are a fruit, or even worse, a woman, you may not feel the same shame about cocksucking that a heterosexual man would. But let’s face it, that cigarette dangling from your lips is a subliminal, yet clear signal to everyone in your community that you love deep-throating wang. I know that when I want an easy BJ, I’ll only approach the chain-smoking chicks standing outside the wal-Mart on break because I know they want a dick in their mouth. So ladies (and gay men) if you don’t want to be constantly harassed by perverts like me, just stop smoking. And if you feel no shame for being known as the town cocksucker, Cigarette smoking may be the least of your troubles. In fact, after you come out of your trance, you may want to go to your local VD clinic to get an HIV test. Okay…now that you’re filled with shame, I want you to wake up feeling rested, refreshed, and guilt-ridden. Put your pants back on and begin living a smoke-free life.