Perez For Idol

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Perez Hilton

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The video opens with the following text – PEREZ HILTON THE RIGHT CHOICE FOR AMERICAN IDOL. Presidential sounding music plays in the background.

Perez Hilton (voiceover): I'm Perez Hilton and I approve this message.

The shot cuts to Perez Hilton standing in front of a white background, looking directly into the camera.

Perez Hilton: Several years ago, you elected me Queen of All Media. Answering that call to service has been the highlight of my life.

Inspirational music plays in the background.

Perez Hilton: But there's more that needs to be done. America needs something new. America needs me as the next judge on American Idol! My track record for judging others is unmatched.

The shot cuts to an image of an article about Jane Fonda with a headline that reads – “Jane Fonda Went Back Under The Knife, Gets Haircut to “Distract.” The words, Nice Chin Hair (with chin crossed out) are handwritten across the image. The shot cuts back to Perez Hilton.

Perez Hilton: Plus, I have all the qualities of past and present judges. I'm fiercely honest.

The shot cuts to a picture of Simon Cowell with the word HONEST beneath it.

Perez Hilton (voiceover): But I can also be wacky and affable.

The picture changes to one of Ellen DeGeneres with the word WACKY beneath it.

Perez Hilton (voiceover): I can be energetically neutral.

The picture changes to one of Randy Jackson with the word NEUTRAL beneath it.

Perez Hilton: I breathe and take up space.

The picture changes to one of Kara DioGuardi with the word BREATH beneath it. The shot cuts back to Perez Hilton.

Perez Hilton: And, I can be unstable in a very entertaining way.

The shot cuts to a picture of Paula Abdul with the word UNSTABLE beneath it. The shot cuts back to Perez Hilton.

Perez Hilton: But the main reason I should be the new judge on American Idol is simple. I'm a gay man and nobody has snarky opinions on singing like a proud homo. No offense, but when's the last time you saw a lesbian...

The shot cuts to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres.

Perez Hilton (voiceover): ...at a piano bar?

The shot cuts back to Perez Hilton.

Perez Hilton: Elect me the next judge on American Idol and I promise, I'll be awesome at it.

The shot cuts to the following text: PEREZ HILTON GOOD FOR AMERICA GOOD FOR YOU

The shot cuts back to Perez Hilton. A giant, red questions mark appears over his face.

Announcer (voiceover): Perez Hilton says he's good for American Idol...

Perez Hilton: And it's true. Perez Hilton for Idol bitches.

Perez Hilton gives the camera a double thumbs up. I still image of Perez Hilton is shown in a logo with the words PEREZ FOR IDOL BITCHES! next to him. Presidential music plays for a moment and the shot cuts to black.