Reverend Billy Squillermeir Has a Request by Cal Jennings
Brothers and Sisters, today I come to you with a heavy heart. It seems that there are those who doubt your faith.
My driver drove me to the country club the other day to play a few rounds of golf and that preacher from that other church, we all know the name, arrived in his Mercedes limo. He stepped out of the car and approached me and said, "Rev. Billy, your followers must not have much faith. You're still riding around in that Lincoln stretch limo and my followers have bought me this new Mercedes limo."
I looked at him and said, "How DARE you insult my followers. They love Jesus even more than your followers."
"No, Rev. Billy," he said. "A man will be known by his fruits and our fruits are much prettier than your fruits."
"Oh, you don't think my followers can buy me as good a limo as you have?" I asked him. "They'll prove it."
"Put your money where your mouth is, Rev. Billy," He told me. "If you think your followers love Jesus as much as mine do, get them to buy a limo as good as mine and I'll buy you a new holographic church steeple. If they don't, you have to scrub the floors of my glorius temple to God on your hands and knees for a week and we'll show the outcome on world-wide TV."
"I'll accept," I told him, "because I know how much my followers love Jesus, praise God!"
Now, brothers and sisters, it's up to you. I stood up for you and told him what faithful followers of the Lord you are. Now all you have to do is help me prove it.
I know that I asked you to send me all your money, but I know that some of you must have made more since then. I want you to reach DEEP into your pockets and PROVE your love for Jesus so we won't be embarrassed on world-wide TV. God doesn't want his servants on their hands and knees scrubbing floors! Old Satan would like NOTHING MORE than to see God's servants humiliated. God doesn't want that! He wants them standing up praising him as the royalty that they are! He wants His followers to prosper and get rich.
Now, I know some of you are going to tell me, "But Rev. Billy, the economy is hard right now and I just haven't been able to MAKE anymore money." To you I say, "You must not be living right by the LORD! If you were living for Jesus, you'd have all the wealth your heart desIRES! Repent and pray for God to bless you with money so that you can make a heartfelt donation to this cause and PROVE your love for Jesus!"
Now, I want you to know that I want you to send in enough not just to get a stinky old Mercedes limo like his. We're going to get a Rolls Royce limo and show him that we love Jesus even more than he and HIS follwers do, PRAise God! We'll show that old devil! HalleLEUjah, halleLEUjah, halleLEUjah! PRAISE Jesus!
Just make your checks out to me, your Lord's faithful servant, Rev. Billy Squllermeir P.O. Box 0000 Kingdom, Virginia 00000
Don't delay! Send it toDAY! We've got to get a jump on old Satan! Praise God!