A retelling of 'Twas the night before christmas...

Full Credits

written by Jeff Gladstone (c)2009
based on an idea with Bruce Horak and Ryan Gladstone

Stats & Data

December 20, 2009


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The night before Christmas and all through the house

I had just started to unbutton her blouse

Ma in her corset and I in her lap

Had just settled to a long sweaty nap


The baby woke up with a cry and clatter

Mama donned her nighty went to see what was the matter

Now daddy’s all alone with nothin to do

But watch as my balls turned the color of blue

She gave me Blue Balls fo


Now the moon on the breast of the new fallen snow

Did nothing to quiet the throbbin below

Just then I thought I heard some jingle bells ring

And I ran to the kitchen and saw a startling thing


A dirty little man so lively and quick

I knew in that instant he must be Saint Nick

His droll little mmm! was
drawn up like a bow,

My wife cried aloud, go santa GO!

She gave me Blue Balls fo


His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

he huffed and he panted, he looked kind of scary!

He spoke not a word but finished his work

And that’s when my wife gave Santa a jerk


Then laying one finger aside of his nose

She chugged back some milk, up her chimney he rose

But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,

"Happy Christmas to all, and man your wife is a hot piece of ass!"

She gave me Blue Balls fo