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A retelling of 'Twas the night before christmas...
Published December 20, 2009 180 views More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
written by Jeff Gladstone (c)2009
based on an idea with Bruce Horak and Ryan Gladstone
1 Funny Votes
1 Die Votes
180 Views
Published December 20, 2009







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The night before Christmas and all through the house



I had just started to unbutton her blouse



Ma in her corset and I in her lap



Had just settled to a long sweaty nap



 



The baby woke up with a cry and clatter



Mama donned her nighty went to see what was the matter



Now daddy’s all alone with nothin to do



But watch as my balls turned the color of blue



She gave me Blue Balls fo
Christmas



 



Now the moon on the breast of the new fallen snow



Did nothing to quiet the throbbin below



Just then I thought I heard some jingle bells ring



And I ran to the kitchen and saw a startling thing



 



A dirty little man so lively and quick



I knew in that instant he must be Saint Nick



His droll little mmm! was
drawn up like a bow,

My wife cried aloud, go santa GO!



She gave me Blue Balls fo
Christmas



 



His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

he huffed and he panted, he looked kind of scary!

He spoke not a word but finished his work



And that’s when my wife gave Santa a jerk



 



Then laying one finger aside of his nose



She chugged back some milk, up her chimney he rose



But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,

"Happy Christmas to all, and man your wife is a hot piece of ass!"



She gave me Blue Balls fo
Christmas



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