The night before Christmas and all through the house
I had just started to unbutton her blouse
Ma in her corset and I in her lap
Had just settled to a long sweaty nap
The baby woke up with a cry and clatter
Mama donned her nighty went to see what was the matter
Now daddy’s all alone with nothin to do
But watch as my balls turned the color of blue
She gave me Blue Balls fo
Now the moon on the breast of the new fallen snow
Did nothing to quiet the throbbin below
Just then I thought I heard some jingle bells ring
And I ran to the kitchen and saw a startling thing
A dirty little man so lively and quick
I knew in that instant he must be Saint Nick
His droll little mmm! was
drawn up like a bow,
My wife cried aloud, go santa GO!
His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
he huffed and he panted, he looked kind of scary!
He spoke not a word but finished his work
And that’s when my wife gave Santa a jerk
Then laying one finger aside of his nose
She chugged back some milk, up her chimney he rose
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and man your wife is a hot piece of ass!"