or
Hallelujah, I seen the news Michelle Bockman quittin congress. Guess her hubby... more »
Published December 16, 2013 160 views More Info »
Hey!
God Bless America, Y'all!
This here your commendant
Loretta Jenkins gettin' in
the national spirit here
on How I Seize It.
For another round of yearly votin'
that no one don't care about noways
cause there ain't no
black or woman a-runnin'
for the President.
(gasp)
Shit, I need to learn how to breathe.
I'm so goddamn passionate.
FIrst of all,
it is a disrespect
to the survivors of the Boston Tea Party
for y'all to call yourself patriots!
Tea Party Patriots!
Teatards is what I calls ya!
Cause patriots ain't racist piles of bullshit
that don't understand
laws and protocols and shit.
Man, y'all stoop.
I swear, I wanna slice a vein open
when I think on how stoop
some of you sumbitches are!
Late Onset Adult Retardedness.
That's what I call that condition.
This is the dawn of Socialism, y'all!
Utopia, here we come!
(singing)
"What a friend we have
in Government Handouts..."
Fuck, on with the story!
I mean, shouldn't this Tea Party
movement be over by now.
This movement's more like a constipation
kind of movement.
This here how laws gonna get passed
when Tea Partiers gets in office.
UHHHHHHHH!
IT JUST WON'T COME OUT!
OH THIS GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN!!!
Why they call this shit Tea Party Express
if they wasn't gonna be quick and painless
about it?
They had a shot at runnin' things
and didn't get shit done.
They the ones that lead us all
now to this political shutdown!
Y'all wanna be like Greece?
(sings)
"Grease is the word,
Is the word, is the word..."
That's the wrong kinda grease!
Shut up, Margie!
You stoop.
Mona...
Don't get me started.
You half-retarded anyways.
(snickers)
Hey!
They the ones responsible
for all the standstills
and gerrymanderin'
and Mister-Smith-Goes-To-Washingtonins...
They still got all them Joe the Plumbe
Assholes in office,
from that 2010 Tea Party sweep.
They don't know one iota,
neon, neutron, atom,
microscopic that goes on what in Congress.
They ain't schooled for all that
hoity-toity posturin' &
i-dottin' & t-crossin'.
Some of them barely even literate,
especially them West Virginian ones.
I seen they S.A.P. scores.
Negative.
And how come y'all Tea Party
so daggum angry all the damn time.
What kinda party is that?
Ain't nobody gonna wanna come to that party.
Oh wait though...
They don't call 'em parties,
they call 'em rallies.
Well, there's only
two kind of rallies that I know of.
A pep rally-
And I don't see no purty cheerleaders
and nothin' even remotely attractive over there,
or a KK Rally.
And I think we know which side
the Tea Party stand on that!
Burnin'!
They symbol's the 'T'.
T Party!
Y'all these sumbitches is bat shit crazy.
They burnin' crosses!
I don't think Jesus woulda like that.
They let them rebel flag, noose-hangin',
Skoal-chowin'
tiny nub-rubbin' rednecks-
The kinds that wantin' to threaten
to assassinate the President!
That there is treason!
And every one of you Tea Party
sumbitches ought to get put down
like Ol' Yelle
if you wanna get down
to the truth of the matter!
Ignorant sumbitches!
Shit, that'd be my executive order
if I was the HBIC
in the W-H-I-T-H-O-S-E.
Yeah!
Answer me this question.
How come Tea Party people
be so goddamn ugly?
Everyone I've ever seen
was just butt ugly.
Now that the 2012 Election over,
there Sarah Palin
done popped her ugly head
out of the sand.
Why people think she purty?
I think she purty...
Purty fuckin' stoop!
(laughs)
(in Palin accent)
"You Betcha!"
"I Can See Russia From My House"
I mean Sarah!
Ain't nobody took you serious
since the Katie Couric interview.
Correction.
Don't nobody take you serious
cause you a dumb fuckin' hick.
Next time Sarah Palin
up in Alaska,
I want y'all to tell me.
Cause I'm gonna saw around
wherever it is she
cuttin' a ribbon o
smashin' a champagne bottle
on the corner of some goddamn buildin'
and I'm gonna push he
menopausal ass out to the ice flow.
I might send a reality crew
in case a polar bear eat her!
Lord willin'...
Damn y'all,
I would totally watch a
reality show on that shit.
Damn them Palins.
How they always end up
gettin' theyself in the cente
of attention?
They must have a deal
with Beelzebub
or Rumplestiltskin.
I heard she was gonna do a book
on the War On Christmas
and fuck,
I wasn't even aware
that the whore could read?
Course, she probably only get
about halfway through and quit.
Now here's what I'd like to see
the next major political movement be.
Somebody take Marco Rubio
and Ann Rand Paul
together like Legos
and then shove them up
each others' asses
and implode the Pullican party!
Maybe some of them common sense
Republicans will emerge
and shake off some of them
Jesus Freaks and Fanaticals.
Save what's left of the party of Lincoln!
God Bless and Rest His Mole-
Soul!
(snickers)
That was disrespectful, Loretta.
I'm sorry, Mona.
I had a hard life.
Cut me some slack!
Schnoity bitch...
Well I'm sure soon enough
these prejudiced Redicuturds
will just be a footnote in the history pages.
Hopefully, I can get me
some of them stem cell injections
so I can live to see the day.
Eh...
I'll just stay drunk til then.
So here's to you Tea Party!
May History Snuff Out Your Plane
as we march onto Unity and Progress!
We don't need y'all stoop
Fucktards gettin' in the way!
Assimilate or Die,
Motherfuckers!
and that's How I Seize It!
Fuck, I feel patriotic today!
I might have to lay out naked
and see if that damn postman
will take some initiative.
(coughs)
Fuck!
I think I'm havin' a heart attack!
(coughs)
Somebody call 9-1-1-!
HELP!
(coughs)
(snort)
(snores)
Advertisement
Advertisement

From Around the Web