The truth behind Dennis Quaid’s infamous on-set meltdown is finally revealed.

Full Credits

Dennis Quaid: himself
"Director" - Kirk Zipfel
"Dopey the Dick" - Bob Turton
"Katie" - Rebekka Johnson
"Mother" - Pam Murphy
"Zombie 1" - Will Maxwell
"Zombie 2" - Gene Augusto
"Zombie 3" - Monica Baker
"PA" - Bill Kottkamp
"AC" - Douglas Ryan Roth
"DP" - Mike Tarnofsky
"Baby" - Baby Johnson
"Sound Guy" - Sean Dacany
"Script Supervisor" - Amy Eichner
"Actor in Scene" - Garrett Watts
"Horse Trainer" - Fran Gillespie
Director/Editor: Jack Bishop & Justin Nijm
Writer: Nicol Paone
Producer: Dan Bernstein
Producer: Lauren Palmigiano
Executive Producer: Jason Carden
Executive Producer: Christian Heuer
Coordinator: Ross Buran
DP: Barry Elmore
1st AC: Jacqueline Stahl
2nd AC: Rebecca Basaure
Gaffer: Bill Coleman
Key Grip: Joel Nix
Swing: Joey Waring
Production Designer: Susie Mancini
Art asst: Andrew Katz
Art asst: Clint Harris
Hair / MU Stylist: Taylor Tompkins
Hair / MU asst: Susan Zeytuntsyan
Wardrobe Stylist: Jordy Scheinberg
Sound Mixer: JP Robelot
Cat Wrangler: Hallie Cao
Special Thanks: Kitty Bungalow (

Stats & Data

April 15, 2015


Billy Bush: Dennis Quaid melting down
on a set. It's leaked, and Kit it is epic.
Male Voiceover: The video is now spreading
around the world, and generating headlines.
Dennis Quaid: What the fuck?
Keep going.
Dennis Quaid: I can't even get
a line out
Dennis Quaid: until dopey the dick
starts whispering in your ear.
Male Voiceover: Just absolutely obliterating
everyone that's on set.
Dennis Quaid: This is horseshit. Look at
Dennis Quaid: fucking zombies. There's a
bunch of pussies
Dennis Quaid: staring at me, and this
fucking baby.
Male Voiceover: Did he just join the
Christian Bale club?
The View: I think that was...
Male Voiceover: Many are speculating that
it could be a Jimmy
Male Voiceover: Kimmel prank.
Male Voiceover: This seems like the
perfect Jimmy Kimmel setup.
Kit Hoover: Kimmel, Kimmel, come
out-come out wherever you are.
Jimmy Kimmel: Anyway, I watched it a
bunch of times last night,
Jimmy Kimmel: and when I woke up this morning
Jimmy Kimmel: I was being blamed for it.
Jimmy Kimmel: You play 50 pranks and all
of a sudden people don't
Jimmy Kimmel: trust you anymore.
Male Voice: Scene 16 take one.
Director: And action.
(tense music is playing)
Dennis Quaid: I am telling him
absolutely everything I know.
Dennis Quaid: I am risking my life here,
my children's lives.
Kirk Zipfel: Hold it, hold it.
Kirk Zipfel: Just remember this is your
breaking point. So let's go again.
Dennis Quaid: Alright.
Dennis Quaid: I swear, I am telling him
absolutely everything I know.
Dennis Quaid: I am risking my life here.
My children's...
- Director: Wait, wait, wait...
- Dennis: What Jack?
Kirk Zipfel: I don't want to give
you line reading,
Kirk Zipfel: but I feel like
less emphasis
Kirk Zipfel: on the my. The line would
be like, "I'm risking the
Kirk Zipfel: lives of my children."
Like that.
Kirk Zipfel: Let's go again.
Looks good, looks good.
Dennis Quaid: I'm going to tell them
everything I know,
(tense music is playing)
Dennis Quaid: absolutely everything.
(tense music continues)
(sound of biting into a crisp apple)
Dennis Quaid: I'm going to tell them
everything that I know,
Dennis Quaid: absolutely everything.
Dennis Quaid: I am risking my life.
I am risking...
Dennis Quaid: What the fuck?
Kirk Zipfel: S-Sorry Dennis, lets keep going.
Dennis Quaid: What the fuck? Keep
going? I am acting here,
Dennis Quaid: and this dickhead wonders
onto my set.
Dennis Quaid: I can't even get a line
out, and dopey the dick
Dennis Quaid: here is whispering
in your ear,
Dennis Quaid: and you're not even
watching anymore.
- Kirk: Dennis.
- Dennis: Don't you fucking Dennis me.
Dennis Quaid: I am doing my job here.
I am a pro.
Dennis Quaid: This is the most unprofessional
set I have
Dennis Quaid: ever been on.
(squishy sound)
Dennis Quaid: This is horse shit.
Fran Gillespie: (sigh)
Dennis Quaid: I've got these zombies
over here that I have to
Dennis Quaid: look at. I have
a bunch pussies
Dennis Quaid: staring at me, and this
fucking baby.
Pam Murphy: Fuck you Quaid.
Dennis Quaid: This is garbage.
Kirk Zipfel: Dennis, Dennis...wait.
We can talk it out.
Dennis Quaid: Follow me.
Dennis Quaid: Sorry, I get grumpy when
my hair gets flat.
Yeah, I know Dennis.
Dennis Quaid: That's a really crazy set.
Yeah, you ever shot a
Funny or Die video before?
Dennis Quaid: No. Thanks for
letting me calm down.
Of course.
Bob Turton: I need some powder.
Dennis Quaid: Hey dickhead, get
the fuck out!
(tense music continues here)
(Funny or Die ending jingle)