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Not only are Bryan and Erin Team Farrow this week, but Erin talks about Tony Robbin's... more »
Published February 11, 2014 54k views More Info »
Additional Credits
Additional Credits:
Starring Erin Gibson & Bryan Safi
Written by Erin Gibson & Bryan Safi
Camera Op: Cristina Dunlap
Editor: Ian Skalski
Camera Op: Matt Sweeney
Art: Tricia Robertson
Follow Erin & Bryan on Twitter
Erin:
http://www.twitter.com/gibblertron
Bryan:
http://www.twitter.com/bryansafi

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THIS IS THROWING SHADE.

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WHERE FEMINASTY ERIN GIBSON,

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AND HOMOSENUAL BRYAN SAFI, TAKE A LOOK AT THE

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HEADLINES AND POLITICS, AND POP CULTURE,

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AND TREAT THEM WITH MUCH LESS RESPECT THAN

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THEY DESERVE.

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CAN YOU HANDLE IT?

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WELCOME TO HAIR HIGH TIE.

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HAIR HIGH TIE?

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LOOK AT THAT.

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I HIDE IT HIGH.

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YOU DID.

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- BUT IT'S IN PLAIN SIGHT.
- YES.

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WHAT IS IN THERE, A PILL BOTTLE?

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- OH, IN HEAR?
- A HAIR SISORS?

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THIS IS A NEW 2014 BEE-HIVE.

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- OH, IT LOOKS GREAT.
- YEAH.

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WE WENT TO SAN FRANCISCO LAST WEEK TO DO

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SF SKETCHFEST...

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- WHICH WAS SUPER FUN.
- SUPER FUN.

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AND WE HAD THESE SHIRTS MADE LAST MINUTE...

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OH, WE'RE WEARING THESE.

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YOU HAD THE IDEA, YOU WERE DRUNK...

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I DID HAVE AN IDEA...

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YEAH, YOU WERE DRUNK, AND...

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IT WAS 11 AM. WHAT ELSE WAS I GOING TO DO?

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- WHAT IF WE DO TEAM FARROW SHIRTS?
- YEAH.

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WE HAD A LONG DISCUSSION ON THAT ONE.

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I SAID WE SHOULD DO TEAM DYLAN SHIRTS,

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BECAUSE WE'RE REALLY TEAM DYLAN.

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WE ARE TEAM DYLAN.

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BUT ERIN GOES, NO ONE IS GOING TO REMEMBER THAT.

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EVERY ONE WILL REMEMBER, OR NO ONE WILL RECOGNIZE THE NAME DYLAN, AND

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I WAS LIKE, EVERYONE WILL RECOGNIZE TEAM DYLAN.

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WELL I WAS ALSO CONCERNED ABOUT, BECAUSE WE

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WERE JUST COMING FRESH OFF THE BOB DYLAN EXPRESS,

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OF THE SUPER BOWL COMMERCIAL, AND I WAS LIKE...

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OH...

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OH, THERE IS A LOT OF DYLANS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.

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SO SHE GOES TEXT YOUR FRIEND JEFFREY SELF, AND SEE WHAT...

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WHO I THINK IS THE KING OF EVERYTHING. THE KING OF KNOWLEDGE...

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YES HE IS. SHE GOES, SEE IF SHE KNOWS. SO I TEXT HIM

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TEAM DYLAN, AND HE GOES, I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS.

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AND THEN I GO, TEAM FARROW.

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AND HE GOES, OH, I GET WHY YOU SAID TEAM DYLAN NOW, BUT

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YOU SAID, YOU SHOULD GO WITH TEAM FARROW.

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SO WE GET TO SAN FRANCISCO. WE SPLIT UP.

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WE SPLIT UP, I GO TO BANG-ON, TO MAKE THE SHIRTS

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OR WHATEVER IT IS THAT I NEED TO DO, AND I GO IN...

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MAKE THE SHIRTS. PERIOD. THAT'S IT.

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I GO, OH IT'S THESE TEAM FARROW SHIRTS, AND THEN THEY

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GO, OH, ARE YOU FROM L.A.? AND I WAS LIKE, HOLLYWOOD, LIKE

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I SCREAM HOLLYWOOD...

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DID YOU PUT YOUR HOLLYWOOD SUNGLASSES ON?

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I DID. I PUT MY HOLLYWOOD SUNGLASSES ON...

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THE ONE WITH THE LITTLE CADILLAC SWOOP? YEAH.

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OF COURSE. AND I WAS LIKE, YEAH, HOW DID YOU KNOW?

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AND HE GOES, DID A GIRL CALL BEFORE?

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AND I WAS LIKE, OH YEAH, IT WAS PROBABLY MY

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FRIEND ERIN. AND HE GOES, IS SHE OKAY?

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AND I WAS LIKE, YEAH WHY?

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AND HE GOES, SHE JUST SEEMED PANIC'D, AND

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CRAZED, AND I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT

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EVERYTHING WITH HER IS ALRIGHT.

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I WAS LIKE, OH NO, EITHER YOU'RE CRAZY, OR

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I'M USED TO IT.

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YOU WERE LIKE, I THINK IT'S BUSINESS AS USUAL, AND

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THEY WERE DID AN IMPRESSION OF ME.

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THEY DID.

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IT WAS LIKE, AHH, I NEED THESE SHIRTS, AHH...

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I DON'T HAVE TIME TO MAKE THEM...WE NEED THEM IN

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LIKE 30 MINUTES...CAN YOU DO IT?

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IT WAS SO...AND I WAS LIKE, OH MY GOD I'M GETTING SO ANXIOUS.

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AND I WAS LIKE, WHAT IS THIS RECOGNIZABLE

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FEELING THAT IS DEEP IN THE PIT

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OF MY STOMACH, AND MAKES ME WANT TO HURL AND VOMIT.

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- IT'S ERIN'S VOICE.
- YEAH.

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THIS IS HOW I INTERPRETED WHAT THEY WERE DOING.

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YES.

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I CALL, AND I SAY, HI, DO YOU GUYS DO SCREEN PRINTS?

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AND THEY GO, (TIMIDLY) YEAH.

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AND THEN I'M LIKE, DID I CALL A FUCKING BUSINESS?

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IS THIS A PLACE...

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YOU SEE, WE WE'RE GETTING RILED UP.

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- DO YOU WANT MY MONEY?
- YEAH.

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- WANT MY FUCKING MONEY?
- THAT WAS ALL BEING READ THROUGH.

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AND THEN THEY WERE LIKE, I WAS LIKE, CAN

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YOU DO A QUICK TURNAROUND? (TIMIDLY) YEAH. 30 MINUTES TO AN HOUR.

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- OKAY, UMM...
- YEP.

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- TEAM BANG-ON ERIN.
- YEAH, OKAY.

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WHEN YOU WALKED IN, DID LIKE A PLOOM OF POT SMOKE COME

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OUT OF THE DOOR?

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NO, THEY WERE VERY PROFESSIONAL. AGAIN, LIKE I COULD'VE

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HUNG OUT WITH THEM ALL DAY.

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OH REALLY? THEY WORE SUITS?

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I BASICALLY ASKED THEM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING AFTER THIS?

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AND THEY WERE LIKE, YOU SHOULD MOVE IN BECAUSE WE HAVE A NEW LOFT...

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BECAUSE THEY LIVE THERE...

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- YEAH.
- OF COURSE THEY DO.

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YEAH. IT'S A COLLECTIVE.

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YEAH, THEY WERE LIKE COME AND BE APART OF OUR COLLECTIVE...

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THEY MAKE THEIR OWN BREAD. THEY MAKE THEIR OWN SHIRTS. YEAH.

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COME AND BE APART OF OUR COLLECTIVE, AND I SAID, I'VE

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DONE IT BEFORE, AND EVERYONE IN MY FAMILY DROPPED DEAD.

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SO I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAME OUT OF THAT ALIVE.

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ALSO IN SAN FRANCISCO...THIS WAS THE CRAZIEST PART, FOR ME.

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I GOT IN A CAB, IN A SAN FRANCISCO CAB. THAT SOUNDS WEIRD.

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I GET IN AND THE CAB DRIVER'S OLDER. HE'S LIKE 70...

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- YOUR AN AGIST.
- YES.

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AND HE GOES, HEY, MAKE SURE TO KILL YOURSELF BEFORE YOU'RE 60.

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THAT'S THE FIRST THING HE SAID TO ME.

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AND I WAS LIKE, YOU GOT IT. AND HE HAS DIABETES...

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JOKES ON HIM. WE'VE BEEN PLANNING THIS FOR YEARS...

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OH YEAH, THIS IS CEMENTED. AND THEN HE GOES, DO YOU MIND

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IF I EAT A BAGEL WHILE I DRIVE YOU?

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AND I WAS LIKE, NO NOT AT ALL. AND HE GOES, THANKS.

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AND HE TAKES OUT A BURITO, AND EATS IT.

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[LAUGHS]

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IT WAS SO, AND I WAS LOCKED IN THIS CAR, AND I WAS

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HONESTLY LIKE, OH MY GOD, I'M IN THIS CAR WITH AN

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ACTUAL CRAZY PERSON.

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YEAH.

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BUT I LOVED HIM. KILL YOURSELF BEFORE YOU'RE 60.

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CAN I EAT THIS BAGEL? BA-BOOM, BURITO. SURE.

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DID HE EAT THE BURITO FROM THE MIDDLE LIKE CORN?

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NO, HE SHOULD'VE. I DON'T KNOW HE HAD IT LIKE IN A

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TIN FOIL...

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OH, HE DID. HE WAS PROBABLY AT FREE BIRDS.

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- YEAH.
- OR CHIPOTLE.

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ONLY TWO BURITO PLACES, AND THEY ARE KILLING

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IN THE BUSINESS.

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THAT'S RIGHT.

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BRIAN, WHEN SOMEBODY GIVES YOU AN EMAIL ADDRESS, AND THEY SAY

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IT'S AOL, WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS?

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YOU'RE 193 YEARS OLD, AND YOU'VE USED THE COMPUTER 5 TIMES.

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OKAY, YEAH, AND YOU THINK A CD-ROM IS A CUP HOLDER...

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- IS A CUP HOLDER...
- YEAH.

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WELL HERE'S A NEW REASON TO GET JUDGY ABOUT AOL.

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TIM ARMSTRONG, CEO OF AOL, SO MANY LETTERS, AND

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THEY STAND FOR OTHER THINGS...

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THAT IS A LOT OF LETTERS.

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HE HAD A COME TO JESUS TALK.

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YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS RIGHT?

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SOME PEOPLE DON'T KNOW WHAT A COME TO JESUS TALK IS.

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- YEAH, LIKE A...YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
- YEAH.

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I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO DESCRIBE A COME TO JESUS TALK.

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LIKE A CLEANSING...

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COME TO JESUS IS LIKE A CLEANSING...

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FACING THE TRUTH. MIRROR IN FRONT OF MY FACE.

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DANCE, WHATEVER YOU DO...

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THIS IS HOW IT IS...

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YEAH.

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HE HAD A COME TO JESUS TALK WITH HIS EMPLOYEES,

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ABOUT THE FACT THAT THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE TO CUT

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THEIR RETIREMENT BENEFITS.

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THEY DID THIS THING WHERE THEY WOULD, YOU'RE THE

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AOL EMPLOYEE, LET'S SAY YOU PUT $5 DOLLARS INTO YOUR

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401K, RIGHT? THEN AT THAT POINT, YEAH, YOU WRITE OUT YOUR...

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OKAY, SO YOU'RE GOING TO...

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I JUST HAD TO MOISTEN MY THUMB, BEFORE I COUNT OUT THE MONEY.

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YEAH, BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS JUST HAVE ONES IN YOUR POCKET.

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- YES.
- YEAH.

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YOU'RE THE AOL EMPLOYEE. YOU'RE GOING TO PUT $5 DOLLARS IN

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INTO YOUR RETIREMENT ACCOUNT. I'M TIM ARMSTRONG,

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AND I'M GOING TO MATCH IT RIGHT AWAY.

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WHAT THEY WANTED TO CHANGE THAT TO, YOU'RE THE AOL EMPLOYEE

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YOU PUT $5 DOLLARS IN TO YOUR ACCOUNT, AOL JUST SITS BACK, DOES NOTHING.

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NEXT MONTH, YOU PUT $5 DOLLARS INTO YOUR ACCOUNT...

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YEP, YOU PUT $5 DOLLARS INTO YOUR ACCOUNT, EVERY MONTH,

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SO YOU HAVE $60 DOLLARS AT THE END OF THE YEAR.

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AND AT THAT POINT, AOL PUTS $60 DOLLARS IN.

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OH...

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SO IT'S ACTUALLY A PAY CUT IF YOU TALK ABOUT 401K BENEFITS...

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[UNCLEAR WORD] I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT WORD IS. YES, I UNDERSTAND.

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YOU'RE LOSING OUT ON ALOT OF MARKET ACTIVITY. IT'S ESSENTIALLY

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- A PAY CUT.
- YEAH.

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NOW, ONE OF THE REASONS HE SAID HE HAD TO DO THIS

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WAS TWO THINGS: OBAMACARE IS GOING TO MAKE IT MORE EXPENSIVE

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FOR THEM TO PROVIDE HEALTHCARE, AND JUST HEALTHCARE IN GENERAL IS SO

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EXPENSIVE, AND HE GAVE AN EXAMPLE. AND THE EXAMPLE IS THIS,

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2 THINGS HAPPENED IN 2012, ARMSTRONG SAID. WE HAD 2 AOL'ERS

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THAT HAD DISTRESSED BABIES THAT WERE BORN THAT WE PAID A MILLION

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DOLLARS EACH TO MAKE SURE THOSE BABIES WERE OKAY IN GENERAL, AND

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THOSE ARE THE THINGS THAT ADD UP TO OUR BENEFITS COST.

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SO WHEN WE HAD A FINAL DECISION ABOUT WHAT BENEFITS TO CUT, BECAUSE

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OF THE INCREASED HEALTHCARE COSTS. WE MADE THE DECISION,

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I MADE THE DECISION TO BASICALLY

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CHANGE THE 401K PLAN. SO, LAYMAN'S TERMS, 2 BABIES COSTS US

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A MILLION DOLLARS, AND WE HAVE TO CUT THE 401K PLAN...

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BUT WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT, AOL IS LIKE A MOM AND POP SHOP,

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- DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
- YEAH.

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- IT'S KIND OF A SMALL BUSINESS, SO.
- YEAH.

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SO, I GET IT. THAT IS EXPENSIVE FOR A PLACE THAT'S PROBABLY

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GETTING LIKE WHAT, A $100,000 DOLLARS A YEAR?

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SO, ONE WOMAN THAT TOOK ISSUE WITH THIS, WAS THE MOTHER

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OF ONE OF THESE DISTRESSED BABIES. SHE

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WROTE A WHOLE ARTICLE ABOUT IT.

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IT MUST'VE BEEN SO BORING.

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IT WAS SO BORING. I WAS LIKE, WHO CARES ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS.

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- YEAH.
- YOU KNOW?

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SHE SAID, I TAKE ISSUE WITH HOW YOU REDUCE MY DAUGHTER

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TO A DISTRESSED BABY, WHO COST THE COMPANY TOO MUCH MONEY.

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HOW HE BLAMED THE SAVING OF HER LIFE FOR HIS DECISION TO SCALE

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BACK EMPLOYEE BENEFITS. HOW HE EXPOSED THE MOST SERIOUS

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EXPERIENCE OF OUR LIVES, ONE THAT MY HUSBAND AND I

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STILL STRUGGLE TO DISCUSS WITH ANYONE BUT EACH OTHER.

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FOR NO OTHER PURPOSE, THAN AN ABSURD JUSTIFICATION FOR

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CORPORATE COST CUTTING.

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BORING, BUT, DEAD ON.

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YEAH, DEAD ON.

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GOOD FOR HER.

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AFTER THIS WHOLE THING HAPPENED, TIM ROLLED HIS

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COMPUTER OUT OF IT'S LITTLE COMPUTER STAND,

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PLUGGED IT INTO THE WALL, DIALED UP,

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[DIAL-UP SOUND]

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GOT ONLINE, AND READ ABOUT THE SLEW OF PEOPLE JUST

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SHITTING ALL OVER HIS LIKE...

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- IDIOTIC STATEMENT...
- IDIOTIC STATEMENT.

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WHAT HE DID WAS RESTORE THE 401K CONTRIBUTIONS WITHOUT

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ANY CATCHES, AND APOLOGIZED TO ALL OF THE AOL EMPLOYEES.

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WELL GOOD HE DID SOMETHING RIGHT.

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YEAH, AND HE ALSO SAID, ON A PERSONAL NOTE, I MADE A

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MISTAKE AND I APOLOGIZE FOR MY COMMENTS LAST WEEK, AT THE

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TOWN HALL WHEN I MENTIONED SPECIFIC HEALTHCARE EXAMPLES,

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IN TRYING TO EXPLAIN OUR DECISION MAKING PROCESS AROUND

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OUR EMPLOYEE BENEFIT PROGRAMS.

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WHAT KIND OF A CRAZY PERSON THINKS THAT'S EVER OKAY

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TO SAY? NOT THAT QUOTE, BUT I MEAN, TO GO IN

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FRONT OF A MEETING AND SAY, TO GIVE THOSE EXAMPLES...

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SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T CARE ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE?

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WHAT KIND OF BRAIN...

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DOESN'T HAVE HUMAN RELATIONS...WELL I PERSONALLY THINK

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HE'S LIKE AN ALIEN. EVEN HIS APOLOGY IS VERY MUCH LIKE, YOU KNOW

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(ALIEN VOICE) I'M SORRY EARTHLINGS FOR THIS DISTRESS I CAUSED YOU.

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I THINK THE IMPORTANT THING TO TAKE FROM THIS IS JUST TO SHUT

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YOUR FUCKING MOUTH. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

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OH, TIM ARMSTRONG?

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NO, THE LADIES. THE PEOPLE WHO COMPLAINED. BECAUSE

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YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? MORE PEOPLE WILL USE AOL THEN

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WE'LL NEVER MEET THAT MILLION DOLLAR BABY.

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CATCH!

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OH, GOD...

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PASS IT BACK.

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UH, UH, UH...

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OH...

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I'M IN THE MATRIX.

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ALRIGHT, JUST FUCK IT. I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE GOING TO DO THAT.

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SO, (LAUGHS) VERY EXCITING. VERY (LAUGHS)...

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VERY EXCITING NEWS.

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MY NEW FAVORITE PERSON WITH TWO FIRST NAMES...

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OH...

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HAS A FIRST AND LAST NAME, MICHAEL SAM,

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HAS COME OUT OF THE CLOSET.

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HE'S THE UNIVERSITY OF MISSOURI, DEFENSIVE LINEMAN.

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MIZZOU, GO MIZZOU...

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IS THAT THEIR THING?

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(SINGING) MIZZOU, MIZZOU, MA-ZZOU...

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WE HAVE MOUSE, AND WE'RE IN MISSOURI. DID YOU KNOW...

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- SO IT'S NOT THEIR THING.
- YEAH.

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COACHES AT THE UNIVERSITY OF MISSOURI EARLIER THIS YEAR...

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I LOVE THIS STORY.

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AT A PRE-SEASON FOOTBALL PRACTICE, WHICH YOU KNOW, PRE-SEASON MEANS

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LIKE, THEY'RE NOT WEARING THEIR SWEATERS YET. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

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THEIR NOT WEARING THEIR SCARVES. SO THE COACHES AT THE UNIVERSITY

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OF MISSOURI, DURING THE PRE-SEASON, DIVIDED PLAYERS INTO

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SMALL GROUPS FOR A TEAM BUILDING EXERCISE, AND ONE BY ONE

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THEY WERE ASKED TO SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THEMSELVES, AND TO

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TALK ABOUT THEMSELVES. WHERE THEY GREW UP, WHAT PEOPLE

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MIGHT NOT KNOW ABOUT THEM. SO DEFENSIVE LINEMAN, MICHAEL SAM

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BEGAN TO SPEAK, AND HE HAD A PIECE OF PAPER IN HIS HAND HE THEN HE

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BALLED IT UP LIKE REALLY LIKE, YOU KNOW, SCARED...

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YEAH.

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I BET HE LOOKED JUST LIKE THAT.

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AND HE SAID, I'M GAY.

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SO HE WAS LIKE, FUCK THE PAPER...

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PAUSE, PAUSE, PAUSE.

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FUCK THE PAPER, I'M DOING THE TRUTH.

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I'M GAY. THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE.

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AND SO, THIS GUY IS NOW ON THE PATH TO BECOME THE

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FIRST ACTIVE PLAYER, PUBLICLY GAY PLAYER IN THE

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NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE.

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HE'S A THIRD ROUND DRAFT PICK? IS THAT CORRECT?

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WELL THEY THINK HE'S GOING TO BE A THIRD ROUND DRAFT

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PICK. I DON'T THINK HE'S BEEN...THE DRAFT HASN'T STARTED YET.

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ALSO, I THINK IT'S A BRILLIANT TIME BECAUSE WITH THE SOCHI OLYMPICS

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KIND OF LIKE, IT'S AMERICA'S, IT'S NFL'S OPPORTUNITY TO BE LIKE

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WE ARE INCLUSIVE. WE'RE NOT DOING THE BULLSHIT THAT RUSSIA'S DOING.

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THIS IS HOW AMERICA TREATS OUR GAYS. YOU KNOW?

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SO THE FOOTBALL PLAYER'S REACTIONS, HIS TEAMMATES REACTIONS,

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HE SAID, I JUST LOOKED INTO THEIR EYES, AND THEY STARTED SHAKING

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THEIR HEADS, LIKE FINALLY HE CAME OUT. SO, THE GOOD SHAKING YOUR HEADS.

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OH, THEY KNEW?

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- THEY KNEW.
- YEAH.

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HE'S HAD A SHIT LIFE.

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HIS BROTHER WAS KILLED FROM A GUN SHOT WOUND.

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OH MY GOD.

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HIS OLDEST SISTER DIED WHEN SHE WAS A BABY, BEFORE HE KNEW HER.

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OH MY GOD.

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HIS SECOND OLDEST BROTHER WENT MISSING IN 1998.

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HE DOESN'T KNOW WHERE HE IS?

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HE AND HIS SISTER WERE THE LAST ONES TO SEE HIM.

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AND HIS OTHER TWO BROTHERS HAVE BEEN IN AND OUT OF JAIL

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SINCE 8TH GRADE. THEY'RE BOTH CURRENTLY IN JAIL, AND HE SAID,

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AND THIS I LOVE, TELLING THE WORLD I'M GAY IS NOTHING COMPARED TO THAT.

308

ISN'T THAT SO SAD?

309

YEAH.

310

AND HEARTBREAKING. IN A PERFECT WORLD, HE SHOULD BE CORRECT.

311

YEAH.

312

TELLING SOMEONE YOU'RE GAY SHOULD BE NO BIG DEAL, EVEN FOR

313

SOMEONE GOING INTO THE NFL. SO HE SAID ABOUT DOING THIS

314

PRE-DRAFT, I JUST WANT TO GO TO THE TEAM WHO DRAFTS ME

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BECAUSE THE TEAM KNOWS ABOUT ME, KNOWS THAT I'M GAY, AND

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ALSO KNOWS THAT I WORK HARD. THAT'S THE TEAM I WANT TO GO TO.

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THIS IS ALL VERY EXCITING. I'M A LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT

318

WHAT ACTUALLY ENDS UP HAPPENING IN THIS DRAFT...

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WE'VE ALREADY BEEN READING ABOUT WHAT'S HAPPENING RIGHT?

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PEOPLE'S REACTIONS...

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YES, I DON'T MEAN THAT, WELL PARTIALLY, AND I'M GOING TO

322

GET TO THAT, BUT FOR INSTANCE LOOK AT JASON COLLINS,

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EVERYONE THOUGHT LIKE, HE'S GOING TO GET THESE ENDORSEMENT

324

DEALS. HE'S GOING TO GET PUT ON A TEAM.

325

BUT JASON COLLINS WAS ALREADY IN THE NFL...

326

NBA...

327

I MEAN NBA, AND NOT DOING WELL.

328

YOU HAVE TO ALSO BE A GOOD PLAYER.

329

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

330

YES.

331

AND I THINK THIS IS PART OF WHAT THEY'RE CRITICISM IS

332

OF MICHAEL SAM ON SOME LEVEL, IS LIKE, THEY THINK

333

HE'S USING COMING OUT AS A REASON TO GET PULLED IN...

334

BUT HE'S...RIGHT...

335

BUT HE'S ACTUALLY VERY, HIMSELF.

336

HE JUST WANTS...IF HE'S GOING TO BE A PROFESSIONAL,

337

AND BASICALLY, ESSENTIALLY, GO TO WORK EVERYDAY,

338

HE DOESN'T WANT TO GO TO WORK EVERYDAY IN THE CLOSET...

339

AND BE HARASSED.

340

NO.

341

HE DOESN'T WANT TO GO TO WORK EVERYDAY PRETENDING HE'S

342

SOMETHING THAT HE'S NOT.

343

YEAH.

344

THAT'S AWFULL. MY FIRST FEW JOBS...

345

WHEN YOU WERE IN THE NFL...

346

WHEN I WAS IN THE NFL WE COULDN'T DO ANYTHING.

347

YEAH.

348

I MEAN LIKE, IT WAS SORT OF LIKE, YOU WENT IN, AND YOU SAID, HOW'S IT GOING,

349

AND YOU WOULD BE LIKE, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD. DRIPPING WITH PUSSY.

350

FUCKING, STICKING MY DICK IN WHATEVER COMES MY WAY.

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AND I OBVIOUSLY MEAN WOMAN. DOING IT...YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

352

YEAH.

353

HANGING FROM THE CEILING. HANGING OUT WITH PORN STARS.

354

ELIZABETH HURLEY, EVERY NIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

355

YEAH. THIS WAS THE 90S.

356

YEAH.

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JUST TO GIVE YOU CONTEXT.

358

SO ANYWAY, MOTHER JONES DID AN ARTICLE WHERE THEY

359

WERE JUST LOOKING AT REACTIONS FROM PEOPLE IN THE NFL.

360

THEY ALL CHOSE TO REMAIN NAMELESS WHICH IS SO COWARDLY, BUT

361

SO THIS NFL, IT WAS A PERSONNEL ASSISTANT IN THE NFL SAID,

362

I DON'T THINK FOOTBALL IS READY FOR AN OPENLY GAY PLAYER JUST

363

YET. IN THE COMING DECADE OR TWO IT'S GOING TO BE ACCEPTABLE.

364

THAT'S IN LIKE 10 OR 20 YEARS, BUT AT THIS POINT IN TIME IT'S

365

STILL A MAN'S MAN, GAME. WHICH IS SO FUCKING OFFENSIVE...

366

BUT IN THE FUTURE IT'S GOING TO BE A MAN, MAN GIRL LEAGUE.

367

WHAT DOES HE MEAN?

368

YEAH. I DON'T KNOW.

369

LIKE, IT'S GOING TO BE A MAN'S GIRLY-MAN.

370

THEN IT'LL BE LIKE A SPORT FOR WEAK PEOPLE

371

YOU KNOW HOW FAGGOTS WEAR DRESSES.

372

YEAH. THAT WHOLE FUCKING THING.

373

WE'LL DO THAT IN 10 YEARS.

374

SO THEY WENT ON TO SAY, TO CALL SOMEBODY A FAGGOT

375

IS STILL SO COMMON PLACE, IT CHEMICALLY IMBALANCES AN

376

NFL LOCKER ROOM, AND MEETING ROOM.

377

WELL THAT SUCKS.

378

OH, I'M SORRY. EVERY ONE HAS TO BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING NOW?

379

YOU KNOW?

380

YEAH, IT'S JUST THIS WHOLE ARGUMENT FROM THE NFL EVERY TIME

381

THAT'S JUST LIKE, NOW IS NOT A GOOD TIME TO DO THIS.

382

OH SO YOU'RE GOING TO...

383

EVERY TIME. WITH THE INJURIES, WITH THAT WHOLE FUCKING THING

384

ABOUT CHANGING THE NAME OF THE WASHINGTON REDSKINS. THEY WERE

385

LIKE, IT'S JUST NOT THE RIGHT TIME.

386

WHEN'S THE RIGHT FUCKING TIME TO DO THE RIGHT THING IN THAT LEAGUE?

387

IT SEEMS LIKE THE ONLY THING THE NFL SHOULD BE

388

CONCERNED WITH IS TRYING TO WIN A GAME.

389

THIS SEEMS LIKE THE EXACT SAME ARGUMENT OF JACKIE ROBINSON.

390

IT IS.

391

WHY WOULD YOU PUT A BLACK GUY ON OUR TEAM?

392

I DON'T KNOW, BECAUSE HE'S FUCKING TALENTED.

393

MICHAEL SAM SHOULD HONESTLY QUIT THE NFL, AND GO INTO LIKE

394

BEING AN ACTOR.

395

WELL I DO THINK THAT IF FOR SOME REASON, GOD FORBID, HE DOESN'T

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GET PICKED ON A TEAM TO GO ANYWHERE, HE WILL HAVE LOTS

397

OF OPPORTUNITY, BECAUSE...

398

WELL THERE'S ONE TEAM HE'S ALREADY APART OF.

399

TEAM FARROW.

400

EXACTLY.

401

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