Babies smell bad and they’re boring

“Babies don’t have any friends.” Classic!

“For every action, their is a equal but opposite criticsm of that action”

I’d like to provide an example: your incorrect usage of the word “their,” poor spelling, and lack of punctuation offend me.

I was really just being an asshole. It’s with love, or whatever.

“For every action, their is a equal but opposite criticsm of that action”

“I only borrow money from pessamist’s because that way they already know they are not going to get that money back”

Two of my favorite Steven Wright lines

One of my favorites…Steven Wright, Bill Hicks, and Mitch Hedberg.

brillance in monotone.

Fricken Genius

This guy is so quotable. The “I wish I would have said ‘Quote’ so that when I died I could say ‘Unquote’” is simply classic and should be quoted somewhere. And then the thing about Jesus and Santa Claus on the teeter-totter was classic as well. Thanks for uploading this!

- The King of Zing.

standupfan is a hard worker