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A tribute to Yacht Rock! A research scientist must find a "smooth" new drug that will... more »
Published April 07, 2010 1.1k views More Info »

Fade In: 

INT. SHOT – OR ROOM -- DAY

We see an ANESTHESIOLOGIST (HOST) sitting at the head of a table during an OR case.  A patient is on the table.  EKG waves are on the monitor.  Sounds and blips of surgery are heard.  We don’t see the surgeons.  The HOST is doing a crossword.  As the camera comes in close, he notices it and looks directly at it.  He speaks in an awkward, introverted but earnest manner. 

                        HOST

            Oh, hello.  I’m Dr. Steve.  You’ve just caught me

      practicing medicine.

 
EXCITING MUSIC AND QUICK CLOSE-UP SHOTS OF HIS SURROUNDINGS:  EKG WAVES, CROSSWORD PUZZLE, DRUGS, PROFILE SHOT, PATIENT’S HEAD. 
 

                        HOST

            There are many fascinating tales of innovation within

            the medical community.  Exciting discoveries in the 1970s

            were dominated by a group of what we call “Yacht Docs.”

            These practitioners of smooth docked a fleet of medical

            advances.  Let me show you one. 

AS THE HOST DELIVERS THE FINAL LINE, THE EKG GOES FLATLINE BEHIND HIM. 

CUT TO:

EXT. SHOT – FANCY CORPORATE BUILDING – DAY (maybe wide shot of Nike campus?)  

Slow zoom in while retro 1977 era music plays. 

INT SHOT – OFFICE – DAY

ZACH walks into an office holding a cup of coffee (no logo) and being invited to sit down.  A man sits behind the desk and is definitely in charge, someone who commands respect.   

                        JEFF

            Nye!  Have a seat.     

ZACH SITS DOWN.

      JEFF (cont.)

         We need you to come up with an innovative new drug

       that will blow the anesthesia community away.   

                        ZACH

            But … 

                        JEFF

            Sales are down!  Everyone is using pentathol

           like water.   

                        ZACH

      I don’t understand.  We have enflurane.  That

      drug’s going to be around forever. 

                        JEFF

      Apparently there are some reports out there

      that enflurane and the kidney don’t exactly “get along”

       all the time.  This could be a big problem for us!

        Besides, we need to think bigger than drugs designed

      exclusively for the OR.  The future is in sedation.  If we

       could create a drug that was used for sedation not only

       in the operating room, but in the procedures all over

      the hospital, the ICU, the GI suite, anywhere

      procedures are being performed.   

                        ZACH    

      Sure, that would be great!  It would also be great if

       Loggins and Messina got back together again but we

       all know that’s not going to happen!  Let’s be realistic.

        I don’t care what the procedure is, it’s simply not safe

       to sedate patients outside the OR.  Plus what’s the

       advantage?  Patients end up staying in the hospital

        overnight anyway because they’re still so gorked out

       and nauseated.

       

                        JEFF

      Exactly!  We need a drug that will start working fast,

      stop working fast, and not make patients feel like they

       drank a case of cheap wine at the Doobie Brothers

      concert the night before.  We need something a little

       more … smooth.    

                        ZACH

            Smooth? 

                        JEFF

            Smooth!  God damn it, man, it better be smooth!

            It better be as smooth as the cream in that coffee your

            drinking!!!  If you leave us high and dry for the upcoming

            pharmaceutical trade show [PANTOMIMES SLITTING THROAT],

            you’re fired from Baxter. 
 

CUT TO:

EXT – MARINA – DAY

A few ESTABLISHING SHOTS of the marina.  Boats, sailboats, masts, docks, Portland in background, etc.  Maybe it says “Santa Monica” on the screen during this.  Two men walk down a long ramp towards the pier.  They are DR. JEREMY SWAN and DR. WILLIAM GANZ.  SERIES OF EXTREME LONG, LONG, MEDIUM, and CLOSEUP SHOTS.  When the camera reaches them it zooms up to their face, each one in a different gesture of mid-laugh or some other happy/cockiness, and freeze frames with their name and title.  Or maybe they are both in the same freeze frame.

They encounter ZACH who is returning from the dock. 

                        DR. SWAN

            Check it out, Will. Portside. The boy wonder. 

                        DR. GANZ

            Hmm, he looks kind of down.   

                        DR. SWAN

            Ahoy!  Zachary!   

ZACH walks up to them.

                        ZACH

            Dr. Swan, Dr. Ganz. 

                        DR. GANZ

            What brings you to the docks

            this fine day? 
 

                        ZACH

            Looking for inspiration.  Baxter is threatening

      my job if I don’t come up with a hot new drug to

        sail the patients into sedation. 

                        DR. GANZ

            What are you going to do?  Have you made

            any headway? 

                        ZACH

            I haven’t. [pause]   I love working for Baxter. 

      They’re so … smooth. But I’m a biochemical scientist. 

      I can’t just invent “hit drugs.” 

                  DR. SWAN

      Don’t let your confidence get water-logged, Zachary.

      You’re in a storm, a perfect storm at that.

      But you need to act like you would on the ship!

      Batten down the hatches! 

                  ZACH

      Geez, you’re right!  I can’t give up.  Not now!

      Thanks, guys!   

ZACH runs off.

                  DR. SWAN

      Ganz, take a look at that sailboat’s mast, will you?

      I wish I could get my catheters to do that. 

DR. SWAN and DR. GANZ exchange a knowing look and then simultaneously look at the camera. 

CUT TO:

A MONTAGE of ZACH creating Propofol.  Mixing drugs.  Beakers.  Chemistry stuff.  Tasting the drugs.  (maybe we could film this using Zach’s beer setup as props?  I don’t know if it looks like chemistry stuff).  A Michael Jackson song plays in the background.   

                              ZACH

[INSPECTING DRUGS] No!  Too purple!  No, too red!  Too yellow! 
 

CUT TO:

Might include a scene where he’s performing testing on his dog, or on mice, or on humans. Could do a camera sweep and pan across a floor full of dead bodies to show that it took him awhile to get it just right.

Second montage.  Brief.  More working with colored formulations, etc. 

CUT TO:

One more scene here in the OR where pt is given propofol, goes to sleep, wakes up and barfs in a bucket.    

      ZACH

(talking to someone on phone later that day…)

Something  to the effect of “its just not working, I’m going to get fired, what will I do.  No your right, I have to keep trying”.  Determination, motivation, etc.etc. 

FLASHBACK SCENE TO THE DRUG VP SAYING “It better be as smooth as the cream in your coffee …”

He finally sees the one full of milk and decides it is just right. 

Final montage scene, very positive, upbeat.  “This Is It” by Loggins in the background?  End of montage includes Zach drinking from a syrine of propofol, gives a big thumbs up.   

EXT. SHOT  -- HOSPITAL – DAY  (either OHSU or VA)

INT. SHOT – OR ROOM – DURING CASE

Back in the OR.   ZACH and JEFF are standing at the head of the table.  There is a patient on the table.  ZACH administers the drug and we can show the EKG go from fast to slowing down. 

The camera zooms in on the patient’s face and we enter a DREAM SEQUENCE. 

FADE OUT of DREAM SEQUENCE BACK INTO OR. 

                              JEFF

                  Well, Nye, it looks like you’ve done it. 

                              ZACH

                  Wow, I’m so excited.  I never knew before

                  the true power of smooth drugs. 
 

                              JEFF 

                  This is the beginning of a new era in medicine.

                  We’re going to be so RICH! 

THE PATIENT SITS UP IN BED AND GIVES A BIG THUMBS UP WITH CHEEZY GRIN.  JEFF AND ZACH SIMULTANEOUSLY JUMP UP IN THE AIR AND WE FREEZE FRAME ON THEM IN MID-AIR 

CUT BACK TO HOST:

 
HOST  speaking to camera while a CODE TEAM attempts to bring back the patient. 

                        HOST

            Good job, Zach.  I’m Dr. Steve.  Goodnight. 
 

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