A tribute to Yacht Rock! A research scientist must find a "smooth" new drug that will blow the anesthesia community away! A mythical look at the invention of Propofol.
- April 07, 2010
- 2.6k Views
April 07, 2010
INT. SHOT – OR ROOM -- DAY
We see an ANESTHESIOLOGIST (HOST) sitting at the head of a table during an OR case. A patient is on the table. EKG waves are on the monitor. Sounds and blips of surgery are heard. We don’t see the surgeons. The HOST is doing a crossword. As the camera comes in close, he notices it and looks directly at it. He speaks in an awkward, introverted but earnest manner.
Oh, hello. I’m Dr. Steve. You’ve just caught me
EXCITING MUSIC AND QUICK CLOSE-UP SHOTS OF HIS SURROUNDINGS: EKG WAVES, CROSSWORD PUZZLE, DRUGS, PROFILE SHOT, PATIENT’S HEAD.
There are many fascinating tales of innovation within
the medical community. Exciting discoveries in the 1970s
were dominated by a group of what we call “Yacht Docs.”
These practitioners of smooth docked a fleet of medical
advances. Let me show you one.
AS THE HOST DELIVERS THE FINAL LINE, THE EKG GOES FLATLINE BEHIND HIM.
EXT. SHOT – FANCY CORPORATE BUILDING – DAY (maybe wide shot of Nike campus?)
Slow zoom in while retro 1977 era music plays.
INT SHOT – OFFICE – DAY
ZACH walks into an office holding a cup of coffee (no logo) and being invited to sit down. A man sits behind the desk and is definitely in charge, someone who commands respect.
Nye! Have a seat.
ZACH SITS DOWN.
We need you to come up with an innovative new drug
that will blow the anesthesia community away.
Sales are down! Everyone is using pentathol
I don’t understand. We have enflurane. That
drug’s going to be around forever.
Apparently there are some reports out there
that enflurane and the kidney don’t exactly “get along”
all the time. This could be a big problem for us!
Besides, we need to think bigger than drugs designed
exclusively for the OR. The future is in sedation. If we
could create a drug that was used for sedation not only
in the operating room, but in the procedures all over
the hospital, the ICU, the GI suite, anywhere
procedures are being performed.
Sure, that would be great! It would also be great if
Loggins and Messina got back together again but we
all know that’s not going to happen! Let’s be realistic.
I don’t care what the procedure is, it’s simply not safe
to sedate patients outside the OR. Plus what’s the
advantage? Patients end up staying in the hospital
overnight anyway because they’re still so gorked out
Exactly! We need a drug that will start working fast,
stop working fast, and not make patients feel like they
drank a case of cheap wine at the Doobie Brothers
concert the night before. We need something a little
more … smooth.
Smooth! God damn it, man, it better be smooth!
It better be as smooth as the cream in that coffee your
drinking!!! If you leave us high and dry for the upcoming
pharmaceutical trade show [PANTOMIMES SLITTING THROAT],
you’re fired from Baxter.
EXT – MARINA – DAY
A few ESTABLISHING SHOTS of the marina. Boats, sailboats, masts, docks, Portland in background, etc. Maybe it says “Santa Monica” on the screen during this. Two men walk down a long ramp towards the pier. They are DR. JEREMY SWAN and DR. WILLIAM GANZ. SERIES OF EXTREME LONG, LONG, MEDIUM, and CLOSEUP SHOTS. When the camera reaches them it zooms up to their face, each one in a different gesture of mid-laugh or some other happy/cockiness, and freeze frames with their name and title. Or maybe they are both in the same freeze frame.
They encounter ZACH who is returning from the dock.
Check it out, Will. Portside. The boy wonder.
Hmm, he looks kind of down.
ZACH walks up to them.
Dr. Swan, Dr. Ganz.
What brings you to the docks
this fine day?
Looking for inspiration. Baxter is threatening
my job if I don’t come up with a hot new drug to
sail the patients into sedation.
What are you going to do? Have you made
I haven’t. [pause] I love working for Baxter.
They’re so … smooth. But I’m a biochemical scientist.
I can’t just invent “hit drugs.”
Don’t let your confidence get water-logged, Zachary.
You’re in a storm, a perfect storm at that.
But you need to act like you would on the ship!
Batten down the hatches!
Geez, you’re right! I can’t give up. Not now!
ZACH runs off.
Ganz, take a look at that sailboat’s mast, will you?
I wish I could get my catheters to do that.
DR. SWAN and DR. GANZ exchange a knowing look and then simultaneously look at the camera.
A MONTAGE of ZACH creating Propofol. Mixing drugs. Beakers. Chemistry stuff. Tasting the drugs. (maybe we could film this using Zach’s beer setup as props? I don’t know if it looks like chemistry stuff). A Michael Jackson song plays in the background.
[INSPECTING DRUGS] No! Too purple! No, too red! Too yellow!
Might include a scene where he’s performing testing on his dog, or on mice, or on humans. Could do a camera sweep and pan across a floor full of dead bodies to show that it took him awhile to get it just right.
Second montage. Brief. More working with colored formulations, etc.
One more scene here in the OR where pt is given propofol, goes to sleep, wakes up and barfs in a bucket.
(talking to someone on phone later that day…)
Something to the effect of “its just not working, I’m going to get fired, what will I do. No your right, I have to keep trying”. Determination, motivation, etc.etc.
FLASHBACK SCENE TO THE DRUG VP SAYING “It better be as smooth as the cream in your coffee …”
He finally sees the one full of milk and decides it is just right.
Final montage scene, very positive, upbeat. “This Is It” by Loggins in the background? End of montage includes Zach drinking from a syrine of propofol, gives a big thumbs up.
EXT. SHOT -- HOSPITAL – DAY (either OHSU or VA)
INT. SHOT – OR ROOM – DURING CASE
Back in the OR. ZACH and JEFF are standing at the head of the table. There is a patient on the table. ZACH administers the drug and we can show the EKG go from fast to slowing down.
The camera zooms in on the patient’s face and we enter a DREAM SEQUENCE.
FADE OUT of DREAM SEQUENCE BACK INTO OR.
Well, Nye, it looks like you’ve done it.
Wow, I’m so excited. I never knew before
the true power of smooth drugs.
This is the beginning of a new era in medicine.
We’re going to be so RICH!
THE PATIENT SITS UP IN BED AND GIVES A BIG THUMBS UP WITH CHEEZY GRIN. JEFF AND ZACH SIMULTANEOUSLY JUMP UP IN THE AIR AND WE FREEZE FRAME ON THEM IN MID-AIR
CUT BACK TO HOST:
HOST speaking to camera while a CODE TEAM attempts to bring back the patient.
Good job, Zach. I’m Dr. Steve. Goodnight.